I am so hollow inside. I always thought that I am doing something important, something that will make me perfect. but now i am realizing that that was all bullshit, hypocrisy, painting the circumference while inside was all empty. I don’t know when did i became such a hypocrite. maybe i always was. i always wanted to do something big, achieve something great. back then, when it all started, one of my fears was to have a difference between thought and action. and it seems that fear has now come true. and with what magnitude! I tried to be spiritual, i tried to be philosophical, […]
Tag:
Passions
It’s the ultimate revenge, the ultimate statement upon this sick, delusional, worthless farce known as humanity. Life is so very overrated. Everything we think we know is bullshit. Everything is a delusion. Dreams. Success. Love. Charity. Compassion. These are all illusions that hide the craving for disease and evil humanity promotes and chases. To end one’s life is the ultimate finger in the face of all these delusional lemmings. To end one’s life is the ultimate statement of awareness. It tells the universe that you see through the lies, see through the bullshit, and no longer want to drink the Kool-Aid anymore. It is only […]
Today I’m struggling. I’m struggling to find the good. I’m so tired of feeling tired and fighting through this life. Everything seems so difficult. I want a job, but my emotions are holding me back. I want to have the happily every after with my boyfriend, but it’s like we’re in this revolving cycle that doesn’t quit. I want my mom to be happy and it’s so hard to see her struggle everyday. It’s hard to know that she wants good things for me, but brings up things in the past that I feel so terrible about that I don’t want to face what I […]
I feel myself slipping away. I feel my cares, my concerns, my passions and my obligations no longer have any meaning. I want the end. I want the peace and serenity that comes with it. I feel no remorse for those that will. I feel only the burden of my choices crashing down on me. I feel the stare from the eyes of the woman I love. I feel their sadness, I feel their anger, I feel their doubt and, finally, I feel their relief. I wish I could have been more. I wish I could have lived up to expectations. I wish the one […]
I’m unhappy, I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, but I find that I’m easily depressed. The only moment of repose I feel is either when I’m asleep, (due to the fact that I do not dream, it’s just blackness and my worries fade away… until I wake up and find them again) and when I’m with my girlfriend (one of the few reasons I feel I can continue).) I get this uncomfortable, heavy feeling in my chest a lot when I’m sad and it makes me want to tear my heart out. I often am discouraged due to my lousy fast food job, my lack […]
I’ve experienced all I need to now, I’ve loved, I’ve smiled, cryed and been torn apart. I’m ready to move on to the afterlife now, whats the point. I have no ambition or drive, or any passions, other then just being with a beautiful guy, but that will never happen, nobody cares for me or my tragic tale and says its a load of bullshit. Everyone these days are WAY WAY WAY WAY too different and freaky and it cause for way too many disagreements and incompatabilities! This world is officially FUCKED and I want out, now!! VERY soon, I will be heading to the […]
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf […]
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
I found this site awhile back on one of my endless google searches for “suicide” and the like, and I’ve been putting off joining and posting until I had a more concrete idea of how the rest of my life was going to play out.
Now I know that it isn’t going to play out for very much longer. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I would kill myself eventually, I’ve never been really, truly happy and have never had the help or the will to get better, so it really was just a matter of how long it would take my […]
it doesn’t matter if I’m severely depressed or not
I’ve come to realize and accept that I genuinely don’t care for this 3D earthly experience
most goals I’ve pursued, I’ve come to realize it was because people had me believe it was important
everything I get involved in, I start to lose interest at some point
no dreams, no goals, no passions nor ambition .. nothing meaningful to hold on to
I’ve been told I should get a job in the meanwhile .. yeah right
in other words, get back on the sheeple track
people tell you that stuff cause they’re too immerged in this earthly experience
they hold on to it like […]