My hands are trembling. I really want to, but it is wrong. I should’nt feel like this. It is wrong. Which sane person gets pleasure from pain. Self inflicted pain. But it sets me free. It sets my soul free atleast for a while. And the scars lighten and disappear eventually. It’s not like i am murdering someone or even commiting suicide. It helps me put things in perspective. My mind isn’t clouded anymore. I forget my sorrow and pain. The emotional pain. It disappears. The sting takes over all that I am feeling. I can cope with it. Yes. I know I want to. […]
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person
I’m a very cheerful person, in fact way too cheerful. I’m intensely outgoing and introverted, it’s hard for me to ever talk without having a smile on my face. I’m notorious among my peers for having a wild sense of humor. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them that I am in fact very depressed, and have been for a very long time. It’s very hard for me to be by myself because I get plagued by feelings of anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Most of the latter due to boredom. I am always bored. It’s something I’ve complained about from a very young age, […]
this morning I was called bipolar, they laughed at it and then started mocking me, saying I’m in denial about having bipolar (actually currently being assessed for it and the such like) then another person suggested multiple personality disorder, than the other replied ‘oh that’s you(me) all over, you’re always changing’ and then as we left form class I told them to shut it, but was told ‘mental illness is funny, I find your denial about bipolar amusing’. it hurts, it hurts so much when people say this stuff.
Hello loves. Here i am, doing my math homework, listening to some classical cello/piano combo, and I had a thought. I don’t know how many of you suffer from a Bipolar Disorder… but sometimes it gets so damn hard. One minute, you are a crazy party girl, the next minute, a raving *****, the next minute, a girl full of light and love, and the next minute, someone who is only a reach away from picking up a gun and blowing her brains out. When I change moods, it is so hard to find who I truly am… I don’t even know who that is […]
Do you hate when people lie to comfort you? I do…that is what happened yesterday and today. So, I am talking to my counselor and I tell her something that happened at home. I say you cannot tell, please. But nope… “I am sorry, I am mandated to tell” was her response. Then she tells me “nothing will come of it.” Then today I get told “something will most definitely come of it.” I don’t know who to believe; my counselor or the other person. I was also told “well it was nice knowing you. They’re gonna talk you out of your house.” Which where […]
I want to post this on facebook so bad: Even if I did tell people how I really feel it wouldn’t matter because I’m a piece of shit. I wish that I was a different person. Then asking for help would be alot easier, but I’m am who I am. i know some of you are going to eather ignore this or look at it a laugh, but I really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore
But I know if I do I’m looking for attention
is to watch a loved one slip away inching closer to death. Sunday night I watched as someone I loved struggled to breath due to respiratory issues. I watched their eyes roll back and their body stiffen and their lips pale from lack of oxygen. I jumped up the first second I noticed it and immediately called 911. I then carried them and placed them on the floor and did CPR trying with all my might to save them from death. I put an oxygen mask on their face and continued CPR until the paramedics arrived. They are alive but in critical condition and I […]
Growing up i had a really rough life. i was never happy, even as a kid. i have thought about killing myself before, many times actually, and i have tried once before but i stopped myself. I try to stay happy but it is really hard for me. i have been through a lot. my family has put me through a lot, my old friends have put me through a lot. i am trying so hard to be happy. i am 18 years old and i feel so broken and destroyed. my family has destroyed me. i break down everyday and i just find it […]
I just want to say thank you to a man who has been an incredibly positive, supportive person for me in the past week or so. You are the reason I woke up this morning and realized that I can be beautiful and intelligent and sexy and loved and wanted. Do you know, love, how long it has been since I felt like this? Wait, I never have heh. So thank you, sir ;), you know who you are, for your love, compliments, kind words and advice. I think I may forever be in your debt- and I’m ok with that 🙂 I hope you […]
Do you ever feel so painfully average? Like everything about you is so boring that you get to the point of feeling nonexistent? I know that a lot of people on this website and around the world for that matter, hate themselves for being too different, but I can’t help but hate myself for being too regular. As a students perspective this is/was especially difficult growing up. With the new found trend of “Be different, Be you” I always had trouble with that. I was never the kid with the strange birthplace, I was never the kid with 10+ siblings. I’m aware this is all […]
Well I really didn’t want to go for help but then I found this website so I decide to post something to try and reach out to anyone. I might as well say I’m sorry for not trying to handle my own problem and instead go on this website to try and get a little hope for still living, because the only thing I feel every day is mental abuse and physical abuse. Now I’ll start off by saying that I’m 17 and I am the worst person ever. Ever since I was 13 all I wanted to do was die, especially when I was […]
I read all these fucked up stories on ID. I’m the next fucking one. “Im the devil and I will cut your face off.” “I’m gonna break all your teeth out, stab you in the eyes and leave you wandering the streets. Duct tape you and leave you in the shower for a few days.” You fucking monkey, you retarded slut, you don’t do a fucking thing, fucking worthless whore.
Everyday. Walk on eggshellS. I’ll do anything, anything to make it stop. He didn’t save me, he damned me, to this life. Takes away every option. I had such an amazing opportunity, all the right pills, […]
.. Just wanted to tell u that there’s one invisible mute person who is very much here between u all who comes, reads almost everybodys post and leave!!
i didnt know what to title this so heres the song that im listening to right now.
its interesting how we all attempt to comfort each other when we all know how the other person feels. when someone wants to kill their self people say no, because its wrong, a sin, selfish, or simply “not worth it to end a beautiful life”, and thus try to prevent a suicide. but if you truly understood how they felt ten why force that person to live in misery?
now im not saying that everyone should go commit suicide but when a person is at their worst and wakes up every […]
I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love. I tried. Did I?
written by freedomseeker
Here you are. There, you are. I love your person. I just love it. Sorry. Wasn’t on purpose… Just, like that. You were nice, you often are. You’re beautiful, I love your smile. I want to see it, always, forever, on your face. You deserve it. You’re a good person. I want to know who you are. I do. Sorry. You’re just the kind of person I feel good with. I don’t need to have a defensive posture. I feel like I can be myself, I feel like you’re talking to people and not to their position on the social scale. I’m sorry for looking […]
You know when you see another’s mannerisms, and they’re unique and interesting. Just the way they carry themselves catches your eye. It’s so fascinating to me that a person can be imbued with such rich qualities that down to the way they behave unconsciously is welcoming and full of life. It’s amazing to me what another person can do for your life, good and bad.
i feel a deeply warm feeling from some people, those who really actually care. The quality of the conversations about nothing that still yield joy. The feeling when they reach out, just to ask how you’re doing, it’s […]
Two years, a recent attempt. A short trip. I get released just as easily. A mistake in calling, not knowing the trip would happen, or that it would be mandatory. They make me feel like shit, but at this point much anyone and anything does that. A rock could do that. Im too sensitive and not in a good way, I remain bitter. I try to operate from a place of rightous anger. At this moment, I’m surrounded by people I am aware do not like me. I was supposed to accept it, but when you feel… like that sort of weird, unapprochable person for […]
Sorry for posting again. Slow day at work. Just saw him repost more meme about love/sex/etc. and that one that says “masterbation keeps you from fucking the wrong person” and that really fucking cuts like a knife down to my soul! I don’t think I’m the wrong person or bad for him at all as much as I do to show I truly care!!!!!
I loved you with all of my heart. We’ve been apart for two months and you have no idea how much I think of you. Still. Every. Single. Day. The last time we talked, we fought, after trying to be “friends” for a few weeks. It came as a shock to me, because we never fought. But when we occasionally did, I never defended myself. You’re the one person I can’t stand up to. I loved you too much to fight you. But this time I did. This time was different. You told me I wasted months of your life… funny. You didn’t even get […]
The sensation that deprive your mind of any kind of goal oriented thinking and at the same time produce a will for getting rid of itself. The way it is felt is immense and it takes over other feelings much like an orgasm. Although momentarily but lasts its mark on your body, soul or your heart. Whenever you get reminded of your pain, of any time, you immediately know what is the feeling and how you would feel if to endure that pain again….But pain unfortunately has a habit of being recurrent. Normally brain would push the pain of the past to the farthest corners […]