Do you hate when people lie to comfort you? I do…that is what happened yesterday and today. So, I am talking to my counselor and I tell her something that happened at home. I say you cannot tell, please. But nope… “I am sorry, I am mandated to tell” was her response. Then she tells me “nothing will come of it.” Then today I get told “something will most definitely come of it.” I don’t know who to believe; my counselor or the other person. I was also told “well it was nice knowing you. They’re gonna talk you out of your house.” Which where I live will mostly likely mean I will no longer live where I live. There is probably a twenty percent chance I will stay in my hometown, if anything comes of it. I am not a hundred percent sure anything will come of it. My counselor or the other person is either really stupid or lying to me. I feel like my counselor is lying to comfort me. You see I was crying-scratch that-bawling when I told her what had happened. She has more access to DHS and stuff like that but I trust the other person more. Do any of you know what happens when things get violent with you and your mother because you disrespected her? It was discipline but it left a mark and I have a fat mouth. It left a bruise but I also bruise easily… help me, I need any advice you can possibly give. Please look at it from the perspective of “if something happens” AND “if nothing happens.”
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If there was violence then I would think something would have to happen. It is really hard to know without more details and I would assume each country and state etc have their own rules. I am sorry you are under such stress. Hugs.
Like theWhispersOfMySins said, every place will have different rules. I wish I could offer advice, but I just don’t know. All you can do is try to stay calm and wait to see. I hope your counsellor wouldn’t say ‘nothing will come of it’ if she didn’t believe it. Again it’ll depend on where you live, but even if she reports it it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be taken away from home. I don’t think they’d be likely to do that where I live based only on one incident, although they would investigate and record it. It would serve as a sort of warning, should she do it again. I can’t say anything for sure. I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. I hope nothing bad will come of it. Good luck to you, dear.
I like it when people lie to comfort me if they really are trying. Many people are not to skilled in the comforting department. But it’s nice that they try.
So, I think you should know that I’m a Quaker and Quakers have strict rules about hitting people and oatmeal. The first rule is never ever do it. The second rule is eat as much as possible. Regardless of the fatness of your mouth, there is no excuse for smacking you.
Things are now mostly out of your control and out if your mom’s control. There are good reasons for this and the social workers are going to come in and figure out what to do next. None of this is your fault! Your mom is an experienced adult, she should know better. Maybe she doesn’t have the skills to raise you properly. Maybe if you two spent some time apart it would help BOTH you and her. I don’t know, but it’s something to consider.
Right now it’s critical that you take a deep breath and think hard about how you want this resolved. You *may* get a chance to influence the social workers. If so you need to be able to express yourself clearly and calmly. You have every right to question social workers and counselors about what is going to happen to you, when is it going to happen, and why they have made their decisions.
And this is where I run out of advice, sorry. I have no idea what the usual process is for removing a minor from their home. All I know is that if you are allowed to stay with your mom then you two need to sit down and work through these issues. Counselling for both of you at the same time is undoubtedly a good idea.
I’m sorry you have been put in this position. I hope it works out for the best. Many hugs.
Okay. I can tell you this in truth and to be honest I’m not much of the comforting type. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Abuse is abuse. Violence is violence. Hitting, bruising is not discipline; that is called “I have very big problems and take it out on my child.” Also, your mother is no more deserving of respect than you. What she did was a crime. I don’t know enough of the situation to have an opinion of your counselor. She sounds a bit strange though. I lived with domestic violence for near 30 years. I got out finally. It warps your brain into thinking everything is your fault. Google the Duluth model. Whether male or female that web site can help you if only to give you clear information as to what is and isn’t okay. What happened to you isn’t okay and isn’t your fault.
You want to know what happened? Well I called her a ***** and a ****. All because I am extremely behind in school and I didn’t want to do any homework and she was trying to get me to do it. Then she had money missing and she thought I took it. I didn’t so I swore on my mom’s brother’s-my uncles-grave. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to prove how serious I was. That’s when she lashed out. My mother has only bruised me twice in the fifteen years of my life and the first time was similar to this one-I disrespected her. She is very strong and she just doesn’t realize when she gets too strong. She didn’t do it intentionally. Besides, we both apologized the next day. I live in Iowa…if that helps any of you to figure out the process of domestic violence. If that’s what you want to call this. My mom loves me more than anything. More than my father does… my father is a sexual assaulter to me. My mother has raised me since I was four. I love my mother, she loves me. I shouldn’t have told anyone… Now my mother and I are very awkward around each other. Frightened Eyes, my counselor is very strange…she has the mind of a seven year old-in my opinion. That’s what happened. Any more comments/questions?