Suicide has been my main preoccupation for the past few months, primarily resulting from an intense burst of unbelievable drama. Let’s just say it had to do with an ex-boyfriend I love dearly and who was on the precipice of never talking to me again (because I broke up with him) which was this huge ticking time bomb floating above my head just counting down the seconds until it exploded. And explode it did. The explosion was catalyzed by a backstabbing by my sister where she not only stuck the knife in deep, but then twisted it, dumped salt into the blood-soaked wound, and then […]
Just a glimpse into my ordinary life…I was at work just like every other day and decided to check my personal email on my phone during lunch. A funny yet perverted friend of mine found a craigslist ad and receive various semi-nude and nude photos from the person and he sent them to me. This is nothing new but in the pictures, the background items seemed familiar. I ask him to forward the email chain to me and I pulled the metadata from the pictures and they were taken at the same time as my wife was at a friend’s house out-of-state and the make […]
Where do I start?? I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. No really as far back as I can recall I have never really been happy. I guess I could clue you in on all the bs that has led me here. But really it’s a story you’ve heard before. Maybe not all from the same person but pieced together from multiple people like some sort of f@$#!d up jigsaw puzzle. I’m obviously thinking about death (particularly mine). Otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I don’t have any friends. There is really only one person (in the flesh) who is here for me. […]
We are all on here for different reasons and have been driven to consider taking our own lives due to a wide range of experiences. We are a diverse company of sufferers. And that is as it should be.
I haven’t posted here with any regularity in many months. I’ve been in Puerto Vallarta since August 1st and will return to the states on Jan 26th, as planned.
Its been a time of great introspection, highs and lows and just plain old acceptance of who and what I am, and what is possible for me. I […]
I am 24 years old, i have been fighting depression for about 4 years now. It all began when the girl i was in love with for 5 years was raped and she became different and left me. i have attempted suicide once and failed, i was locked up in a suicide watch institute for 3 days (worst thing ever they take everything from you and you sit in silence wanting to die even more) luckily my sister worked there and got me out. My current gf recently left me because i was too depressed of a person, i loved her with everything i had […]
I believe that some people feel more so than others. The amount of sadness it’d take one person to crumble is what another wakes up to every day. You will never know my pain, nor I, yours. We can describe them as best we can, but I will never know what it is to carry your burden, and vise versa. I feel as though my own pain is much greater than most, as obnoxious as that sounds.. I live in a constant state of anxiety. How do others see me? Am I annoying? My breathing is too loud. Am I performing this task too slowly? […]
I find this page this One day when I was in the point of suicide. I was wondering and I just get into the Internet to find a a swear like if someone else feel like I did and yes. So I need to tell someone everything I feel before I blow up and my story to know if someone feels like I do or have the same I do.
My name Nobody really cares but I’m a teenager and have had depression for almost five years, recently I discover i am bipolar I got bipolar disorder II plus eszquizo/affectivity depression. My family form my dad […]
Staying strong means continuously uplifting yourself positively as a confident person by pushing through the hardest rock bottom times your best. Give it your all. And don’t bow down to bullying etc. Make a difference. Think about what you love and what you do thats special or even find a new idea. I like to write now because it helps me and people see it and feel it. Be a soldier, not weak at soul. I skate loyally and hard, i’m beyond commited. That’s most dope. That’s why I have it tatted across my upper chest. It’s me. It’s a view and reminder […]
i always wonder how it was to have friend, how is it to have people that cares for you or that would actually give a shit if tomorrow they woke but you didn’t. how is it really, cause all i know is that I’ve always been alone all me life and never really had any affection from someone other then myself, lol funny cause even myself don’t like myself, so i never loved or felt loved, i always wonder how it felt, like does you really think of the person all the time, do you really do things for the good of that person, does […]
am i the only person here under 18??
I have everything I ever wanted,
No… seriously , I do. Yet it feels like nothing, I hurt all the time and just want to sleep, cry and sleep. The hardest part is that it just makes me hate myself even more, the doctors say “depression” and give me pills that don’t work, the friends say it’s because I work too hard and suggest a drink (like I need ANOTHER addiction in my life to battle, one that is socially acceptable, cheap and everywhere, and I thought heroine was hard to stay away from). The saddest part of all of this is that I see myself […]
How To change what I feel?
How to grow better and become a strong person?
How to get out of my stressful mind?
Sometimes I wish I could make peace with myself, but sometimes it’s so difficult to stop thinking.
There are so many wrong things, and sometimes it’s like I cannot bare them.
I am afraid to share my deepest feelings, even under an anonymous name.
I am afraid of my own feelings
I don’t know how to control my nostalgic feeling inside my heart.
Sometimes I think that after death, you just go home to some kind of warm light, to some kind of warm […]
i have none… no friends… not a single one that i can talk to or go hang out with regularly… my friends that i use to have dont speak to me anymore… 4 of them are dead… 2 died by suicide. 1 by heart failure. and 1 by motorcycle accident… im all alone… ive never really been a social person… i dont know how to make friends. im out of school and living with my careless bf and his family… im 18 years worth of nothingness… almost 19… *sigh* i fucking hate everybody i know… i wish to know someone else…
It has been over 8 months since my last suicide attempt. I was finally some what a happy person, but now I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I know I’m a teenager and I’m obviously going to get upset but my suicidal thoughts have never been this bad. The pain that I feel inside is starting to become unbearable where I have started cutting myself with razors again. I thought if I started cutting again the pain would go away a little bit but shocker it didn’t. I bet we’ve all been here, thinking about life and how different it would be if we were gone, wondering if […]
I am 22 and I feel like I am living because I have 2, since I was a child I always knew I was different from the other kids, I was always wondering about death and where I will go… my parents got divorced when I was a kid, I actually don’t remember anything of that, but I remember being raped… since then I have been a lonely person and I am really afraid of relationships with guys , I had friends, but for some reason I ended up cutting the relationships with them, is like, a lot of people know who you are but […]
Bereavement is never a happy thing, unless you really hate the person, even then though I won’t be happy. But one tends to accept bereavement if the person concerned is an aged or maybe an ailing one, probably not too close, just as a part of life. But if the person concerned is someone you just loved to be with and always looked up to in so many ways, somebody who had always given you bundles of joy and happiness, even while suffering himself, somebody who have touched the deepest core of your heart, then all the world just breaks apart!
It is not that I’ve […]
In regards to suicide I will say this. Though life can provide us with the indulgence of our favorite things, with friends and lovers, with the company of people who make our hearts soar, life can also provide us with troubles, thoughts of failure and doubts of our own virtues. My heart is impaled with sadness and sometimes I go through life a ghostly figure nothing to look forward to except the warm embrace of sleep. When a person’s life is infected with the disease of depression and some days are a struggle to live and most nights a struggle to sleep, it is suffering. […]
This is my first and only intended post to the site and I wanted to recognise that there is some encouraging words displayed and some wonderful people who take the time to care for anonymous persons they don’t peen know.
Sadly I am not a person that deserves that care. I have a loving family, wonderful wife and beautiful baby girl! All of whom I adore and love without question. I am not a good person though and don’t deserve their love. By sticking around I a making life harder for everyone and drawing out the painful inevitable process, my choice is my last feeling of […]
will it ever get easier ?
ive tried many things to bring myself out if this dark place.
its like im stuck and every horrible thing is on replay.
and i just want the thoughts to stop.
maybe killing myself will make it all better.
write a note saying its not my families fault.
that i was just sad unhappy with the person ive become.
im fat , alone , suicidal , and just want to disappear for a while.
i want to be forgotten when i die so my family wont be sad.
i just want it to get better.
Depression hits you hard in the face its like a hard slap. However hard you try to not let it get you down it still will and it will drag you harder and faster down that deep black hole, people will tell you how easy it is to get you out the hole and that life gets better but ive been a good person yet still nothing good has came my way im just gonna be alone all my life and no one should give a shit because im not a person anyone should waste their time on i just need to leave this awful […]