Tag:

planned

Hair Cut and Energetic

by JiminyCrispies 4/12/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I got all my hair off yesterday, so now it’s a pixie cut. I’d planned to wait until summer, but I just went to get it done without a second thought. I don’t really know why I did it. I suppose part of it was so the Others don’t recognise me – I’m dyeing it tomorrow, too. The other part is just because through all my racing thoughts, this one stuck.

I did that stupid scale thing with my psychiatrist today. 1-10 for mood, and over the last four days it’s been an 8 or 9, and for my energy it’s 10. I didn’t bother bringing […]

4/12/2016 4 comments

It’s back

by Drowning 3/27/2016

written by Drowning

I knew the good mood wouldn’t last like I said yesterday it wouldn’t last and it didn’t I’m back normal as I call it depressed as hell wishing Monday actually went as planned and well it’s the first day of summer with no plans not looking forward to it at all being suicidal is hard work not knowing when your last day will be u can act on impulse and not plan at any given moment and end up in hospital again I hope next time it’s in a body bag because life is hard and it’s not getting easier sigh

3/27/2016 46 comments

So Maybe…

by Nathaniel_Morisawa 3/26/2016

written by Nathaniel_Morisawa

So maybe I am a loser. Maybe I am a fat disgusting thing. You think I don’t know that? You think I haven’t planned for the best course of action? You think that I haven’t realized that all the “breaks” I get are just illusions or plain dumb luck?

I know what’s in store for me, so don’t feel like you have to remind me. I’m on my way. Just wait. I’ll be there eventually.

3/26/2016 2 comments

Life isn’t easy neither is dying

by Drowning 3/22/2016

written by Drowning

just a thought it’s not actually that easy to commit suicide or it takes a hell of a lot of courage sure it dose take a bit of courage to try overdose

but other methods takes a lot more courage and have to be planned out properly or you will wind up in a worst state then you already are

so what are the opinions here ?

Living a depressed and miserable life ?

plan and trying harder next time ?

Hoping things will get better ?

Go to a country were you can use the method you choose ?

At this point i think I’m more scared of living then dying […]

3/22/2016 2 comments

In limbo

by Drowning 3/18/2016

written by Drowning

I’m not to sure what I feel but the longer I go on I think I’m less likely to act on my suicidal thoughts again I attempted twice but wasn’t really planned like don’t get me wrong I think about it most of the day and the last few days have been rather smooth in reality but things keep going smooth il see how things go not to say WHEN and that when will happen at some point thing will get bad again or something will happen that will get me thinking to act again but I hope I get the strength and courage to […]

3/18/2016 2 comments

New Face

by betterlife 3/8/2016

written by betterlife

I’m astounded I never heard of suicide project before, seeing as I’ve fantasized about, planned and studied suicide for many many years. Whenever I dare to get close enough with someone that I might actually feel happy, they sense my deep depression and ask the inevitable – are you suicidal? That doesn’t satisfy them, no. They have to go further. How often do you think of suicide? That’s when they flee.

The bonds I need in order to cease feeling suicidal are not available to me until I’m no longer suicidal.

And around and around we go.

3/8/2016 6 comments

Feel worst

by Drowning 3/7/2016

written by Drowning

so last night I was having a conversation with my mum and one thing lead the the other and I basically said I wanted to die I explained how I feel like iv lived enough already and I can’t take no more I haven’t planned on killing my self yet but now I feel worst because she worrying about me I told her not to worry about me and she started crying saying what would become of her she knows I’m in pain but still wants me to tough it out but I’m not as strong as she thinks I am I’m passed breaking point […]

3/7/2016 8 comments

I have planned my end.

by AnotherDullUser 1/3/2016

written by AnotherDullUser

We all have a different pain threshold and I have exceeded mine. I have planned my suicide, I have written a couple of notes and I am just waiting till I am home alone and I will do it. I attempted suicide early in the week and failed. Self preservation is really hard to get over, for me it requires a lot of strength and at the time I was weak, crying, crying and more crying. But now I can feel I can get over it. I am almost looking forward to death. No more suffering or pain. I’m quite excited.

1/3/2016 8 comments

Tis the season to be jolly

by Mike Rowedick 12/23/2015

written by Mike Rowedick

Trying to get in the right frame of mind for Christmas.
Here is my Christmas poem.

Christmas Eve Suicide

Twas the night before Christmas
When I’d carry out my wish

In a relaxing hot bath
I’d cut both my wrists

This time I’ll succeed
I’ve planned with such care

Either heaven or hell
Soon I’d be there

My problems and worries
will no longer matter

My tormented life memoirs
written in blood spatter

12/23/2015 10 comments

Trying to hang on……

by dumpling3236 11/26/2015

written by dumpling3236

I already know I will end my life. However, I am trying to hang on until after my youngest is 18 (in several months). It is getting very difficult to wait. I have everything planned and ready to go.

Each day is harder than the last. My very existence is torturous. I have no one to help me. The doctor trys to help but no medication or therapy has made a difference (over the last 40 years).

Every interaction seems to just take another piece of me. I have no more to give. The tank is finally empty.

I am afraid I won’t be able to survive to […]

11/26/2015 7 comments

Signs (?)

by witheringdaisies 11/15/2015

written by witheringdaisies

It had been a really weird but happy (?) kind of day for me today.

I was actually planning to kill myself this evening. And today was supposed to be my last day on Earth. But then, idk maybe God is showing me signs to live.

I woke up this morning feeling really anxious. I had planned out what to do for today, finish suicide note, delete all social media accts., clean my room (finally!) and all those stuff to prepare for my departure.

I heard my mom and my cousin downstairs talking about some serious matters, a problem with my other cousin and her husband, our financial […]

11/15/2015 1 comment

Not quite what you Imagined

by XxNameGoesHerexX 7/25/2015

written by XxNameGoesHerexX

Your pain is truly tragic.
You hoped and dreamed.
However the world just
isn’t they way you planned.
It isn’t what you imagined.
Yet you sit here and say
“I will kill myself,
and make the pain go away.”
But it’s just a hope,
that something is better.
That leaving is going to be grand.

But what if,
it’s not quite,
what you hoped,
and dreamed,
it would be.
It’s not what you
Imagined,
not what you wanted.
Well doll,
there’s no going back.

7/25/2015 0 comment

Revenge finally sweet.

by BrokenAngel8 7/12/2015

written by BrokenAngel8

Its funny how ones mood can get better so fast for a moement. I went on a trip to a water park yesterday with my sister and a few friends. Found out from one of my friends that my recent ex tried to sabotage me publicly and his planned backfired on him badly…. Just because I spoke about the bullshit hes done to me behind my back on social media. I havent felt so good in a long time. XD

Now off to work for the next 6 days off the day after then traveling for 2 days after that.

7/12/2015 2 comments

Sing me to sleep

by Sammi6xoxo 6/30/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

Just to feel someone next to me
To hear a soft and steady breathing
Someone who knows what I’m feeling
And refuses to leave me hurting
Through the doctors visits and meds
Through countless hospital beds
Through things I should have never said
And the times I wish I was dead

Please sing me to sleep
My heart will be yours to keep
Just sing to me a lullaby
And kiss away the tears I cry

To feel your hands on me
And know you never planned to leave
Through the illnesses that plague me
And all I really wanted to be
Through all of my broken […]

6/30/2015 10 comments

It’s really hard to go to work.,,

by BrokenStarr 5/18/2015

written by BrokenStarr

…Every day, and act like things are normal, when you plan on ending your life in a couple weeks.

We’ve had a vacation planned. My parents are paying for most of it, and my kids really deserve it. So I’m holding out until after that.

I’d love to just blow off work, but my family will need the money (and it would be a dead giveaway…no pun intended).

~sigh~

5/18/2015 0 comment

death plan?

by zekabear123 5/3/2015

written by zekabear123

I’ve been depressed for a while, and it’s been an up and down thing. Lately, I’ve been extremely stressed, and I’ve been on edge,. My boyfriend is depressive and schizophrenic and has been on edge along with most of the people in my environment. Long story short, after a few sequences of inconvenient events, I’ve decided I want to kill myself. And not in a sporatic depressive episode, but in a more organized form. The only thing holding me back is that I was told that If I killed myself, my other would too and I couldn’t stand that. Although it on occasion becomes my […]

5/3/2015 6 comments

Going to break a promise

by oldcrow 4/9/2015

written by oldcrow

I know that’s wrong but I can’t do this. I can’t sit here alone all day and stay alive.
Out the door 10.30.
I will stick to what they planned.
Typing that is a bit of a relief.
Peace

4/9/2015 0 comment

by redfox24 3/13/2015

written by redfox24

I’m soaked back into that mood, that one that seems no matter where you are everything is pointless nothing to gain. Nothing ahead of yourself, nothing planned, nothing going as planned, and surely nothing I want is ahead of me. It’s like clock work of suicidal thoughts, it’s hits tremendously hard at times, then there’s the barable and okay. It’s amazing of how badly I can think myself into this, loneliness has to be one of the biggest things, right behind the uselessness of myself. It all just hurts and I need to get it out someway.

3/13/2015 0 comment

Earthly Shackles, Broken

by Matt 3/1/2015

written by Matt

I can feel it inside of me. Bubbling up, and boiling over.

Like a runaway train barreling down the tracks.

God help the girl tied up at the end of the line.

I’ve done my best to alter my own course.

I listened.

I engaged.

I followed every order they gave me.

I have the day planned out to a tee. I just don’t know when that day will be. It’s soon, that much I know.

I have to earn their trust back, enough to gain leniency.

Then I have to use guilt to cut the remaining threads.

Once that’s done, I’ll be free.

I’m not proud of what I’ve done, nor am I proud of […]

3/1/2015 0 comment

Seems I’m not alone at being alone..

by mick9999 2/25/2015

written by mick9999

Hi all,

I am a bipolar, drug induced psychosis and suicide survivor.

My life was such chaos before diagnosis and I honestly don’t know how i made it out alive. I’ve had a few serious attempts. When I say serious, I mean more spontaneous, not planned, I was caught downing three months of antidepressants, had material rip when I tried to asphyxiate myself and my dogs eyes stopped me from driving us over a cliff. I have also had my cry for help attempts. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live either. I wanted help, so I would tell someone that I was […]

2/25/2015 2 comments

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