and i don’t even care if that sounds dumb. i can’t lie about how i feel, life was just better when i was a kid. i didn’t have the best childhood, but i wasn’t abused and at least i wasn’t depressed. i still had a capacity for fun and adventure, whereas now it takes a herculean amount of strength to face each day, and i feel ‘blah’ about everything. nothing is fun anymore. the years 2002-2007 stand out for me, i was young enough to still have a rosy view of the world. things went south after 08, 2009-10 was kind of the point of […]
Tag:
point
WARNING: THIS INVOLVES SCREAMO, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.
This song made me cry the other night, of course I have no right to cry. I have no right to be forgiven after what I did, but that ‘s besides the point. This is for all of you who do deserve a shot, and a second chance.
This is the third time I post here, and it’s about the same thing. I’m 24, I’ve never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl or done anything with a girl, and I don’t see this changing anytime during lifetime. And no, I haven’t chosen to be this way. It’s not because I haven’t met the “right” girl or because I have high standards. It’s only simply that I’ve never had luck with women. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of love-shyness or incel, but that’s where I come from.
I’m basically doomed. I’ll either have to live this way and cope in some way […]
Well, hello everyone..
I haven’t written on a site like this before but tonight I needed to tell someone, anyone before I explode. Just as an over view I’m an 18 year old in the grey as hell country of England on the south coast somewhere..
I have always been treated for one kind of mental health issue or another. My mom had me put through Dragonflies which is a kind of bereavement councillor when I was in year six so around 10 / 11 years old, I think she was hoping I was just sad when my grandad passed. Don’t get me wrong I was but […]
It’s a new week and nothing has changed. Living 20 years or 80 years doesn’t matter, we’ll all die. I love ancient greek and rome. They are highest point humanity has reached. But we live in honorless age. This age full of miserable people who live for miserable things. We are a little dot in Universe but they put meaning to life when there is no meaning at all. I don’t wanna live for nothing.
Soon as i finish my last book, i will lay on train tracks. It is one of the least painful way. I hope my existence will end and i don’t ever […]
i just have to remember ill be gone soon enough. i dont have any money so they wont care, just one more person they dont have to worry about. im so fucking stupid i should have done this sooner but i was to scared. when im alone i feel ok, but when im around other people im constantly being reminded that in im a piece of shit. im not worth anything to any one even if i did have a job and alot of money they still wouldnt care about me, its to late. its time to give up now. im still scared but […]
I thought I was slightly improving but I am struggling right now.
I fucking can’t do this anymore.
I HATE living with my partners parents. No, this isn’t me being a spoilt child this is me hating being 25 after 7 years of living on my own to having a controlling mother in law telling me what to do.
I’m not just saying I hate the parenting. It’s that nothing is ever right. To the point where I can do the pots, but if something is an inch out of place I will never hear the end of it 🙁
I can’t even explain how bad it is.
Well… I fucked up my first year of college, so I’m cleaning up the mess. I panicked and stopped going to class. Failed almost all of them due to lack of attendance. BUT. I start CNA classes soon. It’ll only take a couple of weeks, so I won’t have time to flip shit before it’s over and there’s no pressure to be so vastly intelligent. As long as I can take care of these people, I’m good. I know I can. I’ve been helping the CNAs that work in the same building as me for quite some time.
I feel so stupid most of the […]
We’re all going to die anyway. Why talk about our problems. They mean nothing in the end. There’s no point in trying to connect with or help others. There’s no point in doing any of this meaningless crap. We’ll all just cease to exist one day and our bodies will either be burned or put in a box and then put in the ground. We’re all going to disappear one day and nothing that any of us do will matter. There is no point to any of this.
I think the great majority of us on this site has realized that life is pure and […]
14 year old girl. Anxiety makes up my life. Can’t do anything, can’t see anyone, can’t be anyone. I get sick to my stomach with anxiety every morning before school. Someone help with these attacks. They are killing me.
I just feel so shit all the time, everything I do always turns out wrong. My anxiety stops me from doing everything and I hate the fact I can’t do anything about it. I’m so scared to even speak to someone. I feel so useless now, no point doing anything if it never turns out right. I just generally just can’t do this, not fitting in anywhere. […]
According to the dictionary definitions of freedom include:
a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence
I been thinking a lot about these two definitions. Take definition A For example – when people denies your right to choose or passes legislation to prevent choice (especially in terms of right to die), isn’t that coercion? Isn’t that constraint in choice or action? Look at example B – isnt the human condition in of itself a form of slavery? We are restrained by the laws of nature, and […]
I always wanted to die …. I was told if I tired I would regret it and never do it again
Well I tried. I was hospitalized for 4 days and I’m back home. I still want to do it. I failed I didn’t succeed when I should have. The longer I go on living …. the more I hurt. I don’t want to do this anymore I don’t know what the point is. I have yet to have a purpose for staying yet I’m still here. Altough that may be a ‘sign’ I still don’t want to be here. Life is shit…. it doesn’t matter […]
I have been researching suicide for many years and you get the usual shoot yourself, jump in front of train or suffocation etc etc etc, however starvation is one that’s new to me and one a can totally get on board with.
I have tried suicide methods before and taken a lot of methods into consideration before shooting them down . For example my ideal method would be to shoot myself but I just don’t know the kind of criminal people that would provide me with such a thing. I’ve taken the train into consideration but my local train station is an end point no trains […]
so….depression….isn t that the worst *****? i feel that i can t and won t do it….it stole everything from me…even myself. i ve been happy, i know the feeling, i miss it like the human misses oxygen. i can t have it back….i had a break down and lost everything.nothing can change the past and we cannot rewrite history. i choose not to live in pain. i tried for a while…some meds, some therapy….nothing worked…i just want and wanted out. this fear of fucking death, the unknown, still keeps me here…i know it won t be for long…i can t bear too much. honestly…life […]
I have this friend, for privacy reasons I’ll call her Jane.
Jane victimizes herself. If you don’t know what that mean, it basically means that in any situation she is always the victim. She’s the one who’s been wronged and she’s never wrong. Of course, that isn’t true, we’ve ALL been wrong at one point or another, but she just won’t admit it.
So at the moment we’re in a huge fight, and I really want to remain being friends with her, but she’s driving me insane. I have explained so many times why I’m mad, and she just doesn’t ‘get it’. She keeps telling me I’m […]
We wake up each morning- alive. We live, struggle, suffer, fall in love (if we’re lucky), have a bit of fun, suffer a bit more and then die. What’s the point of it all? What’s the point of going through all of this, actually putting in the effort to do all of this when in the end you will die? Why not just kill yourself now? Yes, life might actually get better, but what difference does it make when in the end everything will be taken away from you ? And what happens if life happens to get worse? You stay alive and suffer even […]
If memories only serve a catalyst for misery and my future is bleak?
There is nothing, my anxiety destroys any prospect I would ever have. Are some destined to exit early? I find myself asking this question a lot. Very little makes me genuinely happy, I’m never safe in my own skin. It’s sad to say I feel the most comfortable and at home when I am alone. How pathetic my life has become. So many mistakes I have made, I wish I owned a fucking time machine (I’m sure a lot of people think that). Being haunted everyday with no ability to make new memories […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe my friend Rachel is right. Maybe I’ve lost touch with what is real and what is not. All I know is that I am losing the battle. And I feel like I’m hurting my friends. They can’t deal with my shit. I can’t deal with my shit. I want to die. I want to disappear. But I don’t want to commit suicide. I don’t want to do that to my friends and family. I don’t want to put that pain on them. But I don’t want to continue in this pain. I don’t want to keep fighting. […]