That’s all I ever hear. It’s just a “stage”. Every teenager goes through it at some point. All they want is attention. Lie. It’s all a lie. If this is a “stage” then it’s one long, never ending “stage”.  I’m not a three year old going through the “toddler stage” like every toddler goes through. That’s a “stage”. I’m NOT going through a “STAGE”! this is a lifestyle. A lifestyle we dont want but are given.
Tag:
point
I used to care about things like success, and school, and grades… but now it’s like none of that matters anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I;m not sure what to do anymore. I’m just drifting around now, with no purpose. Pain is the only thing I can control now. That’s better than nothing.
I’m suicidal again and have no one to tell. I feel no point. . . No happiness or sadness really. Wheni have many reasons to be both, but instead I would just rather jump onto some train tracks and be forgotten.
I’m just going to get straight to the point. Does anybody know
whats most effective, partial suspension hanging or cutting major arteries on the arm? I dont want to be in a great deal of pain but i will be getting drunk and taking lots of benzos to make things easier. I’ve had over 11 years of pure torture and its time to end it.
I really do not understand the point of life if once we leave here we’re suppose to have some deep understanding of why everything is the way it is. If we already knew this before we came here then why the hell were we put here? Perhaps to make connections  that already existed before we came here, or maybe learn life lessons? If so, this also doesn’t make sense because we would have already achieved the state of knowing before being put here. Imagine being able to know everything. This could range from how many strands of hair exist on our heads to something miraculous […]
So tomorrow I’m going to a friend of mine’s house to have a sort of anti-valentine’s day party. Not really a party, just some mutual friends, some food, and some weed. The thing is, my mother decided to tell me she’s going to drug test me the day after. I’m at the point where I don’t really care if she catches me. I’m at a really low point, even though I’m young. I want to smoke and forget about all of my stresses. I’m not the type of person to do crazy drugs like acid or cocaine. I don’t like any of that stuff. I […]
Time is ticking away on my deadline because I’m going damn near insane. Yet I make every excuse to stick around and to hope for things to get better. What a fucking waste. I’m at a point where I satisfied with dying. I still don’t feel like I don’t have much to live for and I’m wasting away (it feels like it). I can sense the slight frustration my mom is having with my unemployment (it’s been a ***** to find a job). Two degrees + debt = biggest waste and regret of my fucking life. I understand her in everyway. I turned and looked […]
I saw a therapist yesterday, to try to deal with my “issuesâ€.
I’ve decided to cancel future appointments because I just don’t see a point.
He asked me what my goals were, what I wanted from life, paint the ideal me.
There was nothing at all. No goals, no dreams, no wants, no future, no hope, no me.
Without something to aim for, I don’t see the point of going through this.
I guess in my remaining time I will see if I can find a reason.
But once the two people I can’t hurt are gone, I know I won’t be far behind.
Â
I’ve been feeling depressed since high school. Seen therapists, seen psychiatrists, the one after another. I’m really just done with this. I started feeling extremely anxious and depressed at the start of December and longed to end this suffering for good. But I thought to myself: “Just give your family a nice x mas, then you can do what you need to do”. Did I do it? Well I’m sitting here right now. I have a bipolar friend and I’m the only one that he really has. The only one who understands his feelings and will stay and listen or just stay with him when […]
On Thursday night after you didn’t reply I felt alone
On Thursday night it was the first time in a few months that I sobbed myself to sleep
On Thursday night I felt so suicidal
On Thursday night I felt the lowest of low
On Thursday night it was going to be the second time I cut
On Thursday night I was so frustrated with myself I threw my scissors across the room
On Thursday night I was so so so so so close to the edge
On Thursday night I felt very very very worthless
On Thursday night I felt very very very useless
its done
its said
im gone
im dead
no one misses me
nobody notices
what was the point
im better where im at
if i see a tear
i know its not for me
i wont be in the way anymore.
goodbye
I tried to impress you but I failed that’s my best skill is being a failure. I’ve been depressed for months because of you and there was no point in the end. I’m sorry I gave up love but you made me promise to and I can’t keep going.
I started cutting myself when I was 11 years old, after my best friend die from cancer. My mom was everything to me, when she left I felt like there was no point in being happy when the person you love is gone now. With my mom I feel like im nothing with out her she was my everything. People ask how im doing all I have to do is put a FAKE SMILE on so that they dontsee right through me. WHAT IS LIFE ABOUT ANYMORE!!
For the last few years I didn’t see the point in filing taxes  if I was just going to kill myself. I doubt the IRS sends agents into the afterlife to collect on delinquent accounts.
Since I never did get around to killing myself, I went ahead and dropped off three years worth of income tax info with a local CPA today. Â I’ll get caught up with the govt. Â and hopefully get a large enough refund to take an Ayuhuasca adventure I’ve been planning for awhile now. Ayahuasca is a powerful hallucinogenic compound which originated in the Amazon rainforest. I can’t think of any better way to […]
I’m at the point where I feel like I’m only living so the people I’ve grown so attached to don’t have to deal with my death. Knowing I’d be missed does feel nice because not all people can feel that. But living for everyone but me is taking it’s toll. I’ve been thinking about suicide everyday for a couple months, each day its becomes more desirable. Even though I know I’ll be missed, I still feel alone. I don’t see my future going anywhere. And I’m okay with dying. But pain is what brought me to this point and my death would cause a lot […]
Hi Guys,
Day 20! 20 daily posts!!! Woo… It’s been a rough and sad journey, BUT we are not done xD.
So how are you guys? (Comment below!!! I’ll try to answer…)
How am I? Physically: Drained Mentally: Drained
My physical state… I have a massive headache, I am terribly tired, I feel sick and blech and *sigh*. Right now it’s one of those moods, those depressed suicidal moods, but I will get through it alive… But maybe I won’t I don’t know…. I just need someone there ya know? I just *sigh* it doesn’t really matter how I feel I guess. I mean really does it? Does […]
I hate the fact how i can do good not being sucidal and staying out of hospitals.Then you make one stupid mistake and it ruins everything.My mistake was being curious and that curiousity led me to find the pills my mom hid away..I now have a bunch of those pills and dont know when i will snap and try to kill myself.I just know i cant help it and it willl happen.I will try to kill myself at some point.Ive only told my best friend she asked if she could tell my parents i threatened to do it sooner if she did.I felt bad about […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I hate my life. I hate this world. We’re so fucked up. In the way that people are. The way we act, the way we have to live. I just don’t know if I can be a part of it anymore. And I don’t know if I’ll make it to the end of the week.
I just wanted to get better. To get these things out of my head. To stop seeing things, to stop hearing things. To stop hurting myself and everyone else. To know what’s real and what’re not. But everything’s just gotten worse. […]
Things become complicated when talking about the source of my depression…Â Apart from the Bipolar and the usual day to day naturaly occurring depression, there is almost certainly a third…
Appologies for the length of the post, I hope someone is bored enough to read the whole thing ;)Â I just wanted to post it in case I had to explain things again at some point…
I have a fairly rare connective tissue disorder called Marfan’s Syndrome. About one in every 5000 people are affected. The condition is extremely hard to diagnose and I was only diagnosed by the age of 28. As a baby, I refused […]
The first …
The idea of suicide … the spark of a thought that you don’t have to deal with this, that there is some other alternative…Â As mild and as “innocent” as psychiatry like to make it out, it’s just as dangerous as any, exactly for that reason…Â People don’t take it serously when someone just says “I feel like killing my self”…Â they feel that if you have the clarity of mind to share it, your not a suicide risk…your just feeling like you are caught between a rock and a hard place… so they put you on “retreat” for a couple of days […]