Tag:

present

Whatever… at this point I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

by Dog1IsOpen 5/21/2016

written by Dog1IsOpen

Ok so let’s get the elephant out of the room. I don’t expect to get help from anybody on this whatever it is. I am only crying for attention like I do whenever I feel overwhelmed. I feel overwhelmed right now and I have begun my suicidal thoughts again. I don’t want to preach or pretend like I have any insight to offer. All I want to do it express my feelings in this rant I’ve made;

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Words on a page what for and have we to. This drunken stupor of man’s design. To keep the life and the divine. To keep the soul intact and […]

5/21/2016 1 comment

I hate that the days pass so quickly

by nicole123 4/26/2016

written by nicole123

My biggest fear is my life passing too quickly and not accomplishing anything. I hate waking up in the morning just to know that night will soon come . I feel like I am just present during my day to day lifestyle . I am not satisfied . I don’t care to see the same people everyday, or do the same activities . I hate repetition. I can’t live a life where I wake up to work everyday regurgitate the same bullshit the next day .

I would be happier if my lifestyle was different . But it’s unrealistic. My ideal lifestyle could never happen. […]

4/26/2016 4 comments

Night Falls Fast

by Luke2015 2/23/2016

written by Luke2015

When people are suicidal, their thinking is paralyzed, their options appear spare or nonexistent, their mood is despairing, and hopelessness permeates their entire mental domain. The future cannot be separated from the present, and the present is painful beyond solace. ‘This is my last experiment,’ wrote a young chemist in his suicide note. ‘If there is any eternal torment worse than mine I’ll have to be shown.

2/23/2016 1 comment

I’m feeling better

by nicole123 1/18/2016

written by nicole123

I’m actually feeling good about my job interview tomorrow . I have one at top golf . It just opened in my city . And it’s a group interview . You play games with people and have fun so it’s not even like a real interview .

I just get nervous . I feel like if I get this job then I will feel like I have something to do . It will take my mind off things .

So wish me luck tomorow … It’s gonna be a nerve wrecking day . I also have to present my research paper in class .. That’s […]

1/18/2016 6 comments

Just an attempt

by blank-clutter 1/3/2016

written by blank-clutter

would it be so bad if I committed to an attempt? I feel so shit all the time and it’s stuff that has been present all my life, it’s something that I know isn’t going to improve to normal levels. For example I’ve always been cynical, now I’m super cynical but I don’t see myself becoming someone who just isn’t cynical. Oh sure it can get better but it will always be there and it’s going to eventually cause me to fall down again

So would it be bad if I just make an attempt?

And what if it’s someone that I know has a high success […]

1/3/2016 8 comments

Wanting to die for 20 years

by SheWantedToGoBlind 12/22/2015

written by SheWantedToGoBlind

What is it in people that keep them around? I see so much suffering, grief. Awful things- and I think- why do they keep on going? Why don’t they just end the misery?
Why haven’t I ended the misery. I’ve tried to be optimistic. These feelings will pass, the vice will loosen it’s grip upon my neck. And it does, for short while. But, for the past 2 years, the pain has been ever present. The desire to disappear grows with each hour. I look for a cure, for a reason to stay, but cannot find one.

12/22/2015 5 comments

The Nobody; Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

by Hance_Soelow 12/18/2015

written by Hance_Soelow

There is something liberating about accepting being a nobody.

I have been bullied, belittled, and abused as a child in both my school and in my family. For the longest of times, I have done my best to improve my reputation and status in society in response to these actions. However, I have failed time and time again. After numerous short lived careers, huge heart aches, and personal failures, I have come to the realization that, indeed maybe they were all correct before. Maybe indeed I am a nobody.

If it is truth, then all my past failures, misfortunes, and regrets can be rationally, logically, and justifiably explained […]

12/18/2015 7 comments

Do you ever feel like it’s a lot of the little things?

by Dorothy Gale 11/21/2015

written by Dorothy Gale

They add up, one on top of another. Dirty house, little free time. Debts that you can never seem to get started on. Between two jobs, make too little. Things breaking down. Costly repairs. Faraway dreams that never gain traction. Faraway friends. Lover growing distant. Nagging mother. Fear of loneliness. Fear of other people. An inability to face the past or the future; maladjusted in the present. Knots everywhere – in my mind, my relationships, my soul. Can’t cleanse it. Feel like roadkill.

11/21/2015 1 comment

Wish I could just end this!

by sandy11 11/4/2015

written by sandy11

Wish I could just end this! Something or the other always stops me. I never wanted to live. My life is harsh on me and it is difficult to survive it seems. I am just another normal 14 year old teenager but what goes on inside me is unknown to everybody. I am so pressurized by studies and coaching. Every time I have a new coaching to attend and i am supposed to handle everything. I can’t! I am just a human being! My parents have cut off my connection from the outer world (except school where i have no friends basically. Actually they just […]

11/4/2015 2 comments

Another sleepless night…

by Rotted_Flesh 8/14/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

I’ll have a drink for that. Another thought about my ex-fiancee, I’ll have a drink for that too. Another thought about my deceased loved ones, there’s a drink for that. Just a little sip, oh look some anti-anxiety pills I’ll have to take those too. Looking at my life, the past the present and the future and having absolutely no idea where I am going to be, there’s a noose for that…

8/14/2015 0 comment

How does one fix it?

by Mark_1981 8/11/2015

written by Mark_1981

How does one *fix* the affects of abuse? You can’t fix that what is. You just learn to cope. No matter how hard one tries, the memories are still remain; forever haunting, forever there.

I have been told to dwell not on that what was but rather focus on what can be. I have always maintained that focusing (and influencing) one’s future is largely based on one’s past, as it is one’s past that makes up one’s present. It is one’s present that gives one strength and abilities to influence one’s future. We are after all the sum of all of our experiences.

One’s past = […]

8/11/2015 1 comment

Faith of the Heart

by bayareaguy 7/22/2015

written by bayareaguy

The theme from the short lived series Enterprise. This song sort of describes my present state of mind, appropriate for where I feel my journey is headed.

It’s been a long road
Getting from there to here
It’s been a long time
But my time is finally near

7/22/2015 2 comments

by absentlife 6/26/2015

written by absentlife

Not having a funeral when i die, people didnt want to make the effort to see me in life so it would be the greatest of insults for them to see me in death, it’s too late then, it’s not their fault it’s just the way it is…

I will be cremated and have my ashes discarded with only my immediate family present it doesnt matter where that takes place as it makes no difference..

6/26/2015 4 comments

A life destroyed

by Hedabuvh20 6/18/2015

written by Hedabuvh20

Twenty years ago I made a choice that has forever altered my life. The last three can really only be described as post apocalyptical. I’m 40. I expect to live there rest of my life, save for all the focus I can muster in this present moment, adrift.

6/18/2015 2 comments

First Group Meeting Today

by Lovebug4142 6/11/2015

written by Lovebug4142

CPS came in because one of my teachers called them about me cutting and doing drugs. They are now forcing me to go see a Psychiatrist and go to group with other girls that are in high school. If I don’t go, they will remove me from my mom since I have been cutting for so long. But honestly I don’t need this. I am fine with cutting and doing drugs. That’s how I cope and that’s what I’m good at. I don’t want to change. That is what makes me. ME. Not saying I don’t have emotional problems cause I’m sure we all do, […]

6/11/2015 2 comments

Mother’s day present

by godbless 5/9/2015

written by godbless

I wonder what my mom would like for mother’s day. Flowers? Perfume? A hug? Maybe from her daughters! That’s right she doesn’t count me as a daughter. She’d probably like it better if she could sign a certificate to disown me. I can sort of give her that.

My mother has two daughters (half siblings who are in their mid-twenties) whom she has always loved and adored. They got anything that they asked for and more. Me? The COMPLETE opposite. I barely got attention infact the only attention I ever got was negative. Neither of my parents have ever told me that they loved me. But […]

5/9/2015 4 comments

we all fall down

by BlackOutAlice 4/6/2015

written by BlackOutAlice

It cracked like porcelain along the edges of her mind,the crack echoed across the land, the force of of it alone split the mast and sent it careening to the side. Where the tattered and frayed sail touched,it prompted the sea water to shoot into the sky to rain down upon her.

Not even the birds were present this day. The porcelain cracked sky cascaded down in a shower of rainbow fleck chips.

It was all falling apart.

The sun could no longer support its own weight and like a man who was destined to drowned it sank below the earth never to be seen again.

The moon did […]

4/6/2015 11 comments

Scribbles(The only thing i seem to be gd at)

by confusedboy 12/22/2014

written by confusedboy

What is life when u dont know its meaning..

i cant look for the future when my present is trembling..

Trembling with fear of not knowing..

This fear just keeps on growing.

Every hope life gave me was misleading..

Every happy start led to a sad ending..

12/22/2014 0 comment

My best christmas present is my Death

by alone 12/20/2014

written by alone

i am 22 year old boy, i just screw all thing. i screw my graduation and now i am not able to get any job. my gf is a DBA and she is forcing me all time that she do not want to live with me if i have no job in future. i am depress , i love her but she don’t because i don’t have money and job. i think i have no right to make GF. i am very innocent i just hurt when she look other guy with awesome car and she respect those guy and disrespect me because of money. […]

12/20/2014 7 comments

My Goal

by Jumper97 12/4/2014

written by Jumper97

Im about to turn 17 on Dec 11, which is next week. My goal is to commit suicide before my Birthday. It’ll be the best present, I can give myself.

12/4/2014 2 comments

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