Next week is prom and I’m going with my boyfriend. Â I know thats great and all but after, hes spending the night at my house so he doesn’t have to drive back to his house. Â Cause of the distance from mine to his. Â Cool, right? Â Except the thing is… Â I DON’T WANT HIM TO!!! Â I don’t know why but I just don’t. Â I hate texting, I always have! Â Its even to the point where I don’t want to text my boyfriend! Â I don’t know much about love but he told me he loves me last night and we already started kissing and I’m not sure […]
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Prom
Okay, so nearly six months ago, I was extremely lucky to find an awesome girlfriend. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, caring, the lot. But, she has a few major shortfalls. One: she can’t deal with my depression or bi-polar very well at all. Two: she shuts down when I try to talk to her (I.E. she tries incredibly hard to either swap topic or turn it into something else) and three: she doesn’t like the fact that I smoke (she fucking hates it more than I hate me).
Anyways, I very rarely see her these days because her schoolwork is absolutely ridiculous. She’s only in year […]
I’ve been so close lately. I think about it constantly but I would never do it. I just stare at the pill bottle and wonder how I don’t have the guts to do it. I just don’t understand anything anymore. I am so confused and I don’t think I am getting the help that I need in daily therapy. I go to a treatment program and now they want to send me to an eating disorder facility. I don’t know what I need anymore all I know is that I can’t keep going on like this in agony. But I do have something to look […]
That’s all I had planned to say here. But maybe I should say something else. My room smells like overwhelming dog piss, because my fucking dog has not absorbed three years of potty training. I think we should put him down.
I’ve been thinking a lot about school shootings lately. Did anyone here about the one in Ohio? TJ Lane? Anyway, it fascinates me. If I could get a hold of the guns, ammo, and confidence, I would do it. I know who I’d take out, and why. Fuck you, for telling everyone that lie about me having sex with that scum. Fuck you, for telling […]
I wanted to die differently, I want to drown, I want to OD, I want to shoot myself, anything but cancer! I’d jump, I’d hang, I’d chug, anything BUT cancer. I’d like to be hit, I’d like to drift off in my slumber eternally, I’d like to be stabbed, anything but CANCER. fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck cancer, fuck it. I’m sitting in a stupid hostpital, in a stupid gown, with stupid food, stupid and overly chipper nurses, oh and don’t forget the cell enlarging body killing menace, CANCER. At first I thought they were joking, just lightening the mood somehow, “I’m sorry […]
I am never good enough. first its school, then its at home, and now my friends. I hate drugs, absolutely hate them and my best friend got this boyfriend who made her int a big ass druggy and now its my fault that her and our other “friends” call me a loser because i don’t do it with them. i changed my Facebook profile picture to me and my boyfriend at prom with her and her ex boyfriend saying “I miss this..” because that was the last time we ever hung out because now shes too busy. (on my birthday i invited her and her […]
I will never forget this as long as I live. I was 17, I’m almost 21 now, and I was taking a shower one Sunday night. It was June 7, 2009. Two days after my prom, and a month after my boyfriend, who I was madly in love with, broke up with me. I was numb. I stood underneath the water and kept raising the temperature high and higher, burning myself with scalding hot water. I felt like my whole body was withering away, and the pain was magical. I felt as if i could finally feel something again other than darkness and eternal agony.
I […]
I really don’t understand myself. I just got back from my Prom, and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I expected, but that’s because I had no expectations at all! Anyway, for some of it, I was really really happy and I danced and laughed and had a lovely time. However, for other parts, I just sat staring into nothing and feeling numb and wanting to die. This also happened whilst I was on the dancefloor, and I just stayed there awkwardly dancing and wondering how easy it would be to just do it at that exact moment, like jump from the […]
I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
I’m crazy, I must be crazy. Out of the blue I took a pen and sticky note and wrote “Hey, I like you. and this is crazy, but here’s my love note, so prom….maybe?” on it, then stuck it to the locker of the girl I want to ask out to prom. WHY DID I DO THAT?
I don’t know what to think, but I did it, it’s done, and nobody can erase it now…unless I somehow get to her locker before she does, open it up, take it off, and hide it before anyone can see? But that won’t work. No. I have to get […]
I don’t know. I’m suppose to be happy, I’m finally getting a full makeover this week on Thursday and Friday for saturday’s prom. i always wanted to be pretty, pretty enough for guys in school to stop saying how ugly i am behind my back or to my face. Pretty enough for me to have a guy look at me and say wow your pretty. Or at least pretty enough for me to actually have my first boyfriend, or even my first kiss. I want to be able to walk down the hallways with confidence and not  with my head down. I know that I’m […]
My name is Joe, I live in England and I am training to be a hairdresser. I started my training two months ago, I am 19 years old.
I’ll be honest with you my life so far has not been easy, like the majority of people in this world I’ve faced issues and encountered problems which has hurt me, which is fine bad things happen. I was bullied at school, people made fun of my physical appearance a lot, and I didn’t fit in with the popular crowd. I hanged out with the more geeky group, and didn’t mind it, I got on well, but as time went […]