I saw my therapist today yipfuckingyee… she doesnt understand anything, its so hot and i feel as if everyone is screaming at me, even the little sounds sound like freak explosions, i dont feel suicidal just more attached to pain and mutilation, why do i still plot my inevitable suicide anyways? Ive just become obsessed with the idea of suicide as of late. Nothing can change my mind, besides getting expelled from school, having shit grades, and seeing/ trusting no one, everything seems gross. Masturbation is possibly the only relief i get from this gross thought process. I wish someone would kill me now because […]
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I don’t understand why I feel pain like this. It’s completely unbearable. Two years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. i’ve spent these last two years in therapy and searching everywhere for something to make me feel better. I’ve tried therapy, ten different anti-depression drugs, hypnosis, acupuncture, acupressure.. the list goes on and on. on top that i’m victim to horrible anxiety attacks that can strike at any moment without warning, i usually get about two or three a day. they make me curl up into a ball and wait to die. my family has abandoned me because i cause everyone around me pain […]
Trevor and Carol (2 minutes)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icmRCixQrx8
Clevon wins (1 minute)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8rhIZJAdd0
Maybe I’m a *****. I just couldn’t do it either.
So I wrote this post 4 months ago already;
I was seriously trying and hoping to see a positive change, I didnt expect that everything was right again, but at least expected something positive.
Well guess what, there is none. Every day is getting worse and worse. Everyday I am having a crapload of headaches, completely destroying the ability to do something good, something helpful for a day. These headaches, I am sure they keep holding me back, if i didnt have them I am confident in my ability to improve stuff in my life, but guess what, I dont even get […]
It’s been one day since our anniversary and we’re fighting again.
I’ve had alcohol.
I can do it or I can not do it.
I feel like it’s all threats but I’m just a *****.
I tried to kill myself a few months ago, and that’s not what worries me. What worries me is that I don’t think it was a legitimate suicide attempt. I think I knew those pills weren’t going to kill me. I’m too smart and manipulative for that. I think I deliberately hurt people for attention. Being alone and depressed and addicted to Tumblr, I didn’t know anything else I could do. Now I’ve lost any online friends that I once had and I’m going to explode from the bottled up emotions. I need to talk, I need to talk, I need to talk, but I […]
When my parents learn that I basically gave up on college, I will have let down every single person that has cared for me. Self loathing is about to hit an all time high. I even started cutting again after a year of not doing it, and make deeper, more deliberate cuts (maybe I’m a *****). I enjoy the pain, and seeing my own blood. If it wasn’t so hard to actually commit suicide that way, I might be incline to do it.
Gave up on my classes 2/3 of the way through the semester and I had A’s in all of them. I fucking hate […]
There Is so much pressure on my heart I’m surprised I’m not dead cause of It…..sadly.
When the only thinq you have left Is pride and then when thats taken away from you what then?I keep thinkinq back In April (a few days before my birthday) my friend made a comment about his qirl and I and I told him *****’s just *****.He qot pissed and his qirl wanted to “fiqht” me.After that we started drivinq back to our side and It was dead silent.He went to my house to drop me off,Instead I qot out the car and he followed me.We talked.I’m tellinq him dude […]
In 2002, I was in 8th grade, and that was the first time I started thinking about killing myself. It’s also when I started hurting myself. Things got a little better in high school, so I was just self mutilating day-to-day. Then as a senior in December of 2006 I ate a shit ton of aspirin, and ended up in the hospital after my first real suicide attempt. My favorite part was when I got home and my step mom asked me if I was ‘stupid or something’, because ‘everyone knows’ that aspirin is a blood thinner and actually makes you more jittery and awake, […]
I can’t say like i’m many of you. I’ve been pretty fortunate as far as life goes. But i dunno. No matter how well off you are there will always be a problem that somehow manages to get you. It’s pathetic
I don’t know why i carry on really. I used to like doing a lot of things and i had a lot of interests all over the place but i dunno what’s the damn point. It’s all useless idle bullshit. i’m bad at what i’m good at doing and i’m stupid to boot. I’m useless to society and i should just go kill myself except […]
This is the first time I have ever told anyone I have been contemplating suicide. Most people would say I have a good life, which I do agree, but I can’t find the motivation to want to help myself. I’m 21 and a college student with a criminal record already and have a family that I have secluded myself from. I want to write out my whole life story but I honestly don’t even care enough to do that. I just know that have suicidal thought on a daily basis isn’t normal. I know I have severe depression problems cause my mom has been diagnosed […]
There’s nothing wrong with my life, besides the fact that I’m a useless leech. I’m 28 and haven’t done a damn thing with my life. I’ve always been told that it’s because I’m lazy, and I’ve accepted it. I’ve been sad for no *good* reason for most of my life (plenty of shallow reasons–too stupid, too ugly, too awkward, etc, etc). Attempted suicide once, many years ago. Woke up in intensive care to suffer massive guilt from my mother. My dad wouldn’t speak to me for almost a year after that–just flat out ignored me, though we lived in the same house. (Because of course […]
Well that is it. I skipped class today after just another shitty day without talking or knowing noone in this huge class of over 100 students and already by now everyone has study groups. After that moment something glitched in my brain and I simply did what I always do. Escape. So I took the first bus home. I was so pissed off at myself that I turned to the closest mall and told myself that I would not be a ***** any longer and go through with taking my life today..so I bought a six pack of ice cold Heinekens and a bottle of […]
I guess it’s safe to say hello again cuz im officually depressed from another break up :/ uhg #TeenageProblems. Had another account, completely forgot all the info on it. Ha, its weird cause I remeber signing up to SP the first time. I was little and I thought police were going to come to my house and take me away because I was suicidal. Gosh, when we first learn how the internet works. Well I’ve changed alot. Let me introduce myself. My name is Daniel Nuñez. I would prefer if you call me Nøødlez instead, it makes me feel sucure about myself and all that […]
Its not something I want to feel though. Because I know damn well I have so much ahead of me in life and I can’t just give up just like that. But the shit I’ve been through just barely pushes me over the edge sometimes. I often find myself thinking about how normal other peoples lives are and how I wish I was in their position. I think I’m too much of a ***** to commit suicide anyways, Â I dunno. I just feel like God has so much in life to offer for me. I have plenty of people to talk to but when it […]
My lack of tenacity to anything and everything applies I guess just as well to my suicidal thoughts. They come and go but they are never enough to make me actually do anything. Its more a coping thing. It has been a few months since I have felt this low and un-like reality, when I ***** about my petty white kid problems you all kind of listen. Which is cool so I can keep my crazy priviate and un-identified. Since I am obviously to ***** to do it I have decided begrudgingly take on reality head on for thirty days. Thirty days just giving it […]
whats the use if you cant even cry on their shoulder…
anyways, my demons are getting overwhelming and im waiting to just stop cutting like a ***** and TERRORIZE my fucking wrist…
I’ve hit it. I’m a 19 year old gay male and i’ve been crying my eyes out for so many nights now. I want to just end it all..I am so miserable and lonely. I’ve brought most of this on myself I guess…i think I have herpes and it fucking disgusts me. I hate these fucking sores on my lips…why did I have to do this to myself? I feel like such a disgusting whore. I miss my exboyfriend and I wish i could have done more for him..instead I fucked up. I fuck everything up. I don’t know why I was brought intothis world…both […]
I wish there was a way to make suicide easy. I want no pain in this. I already have enough pain on my own, why would I want the last seconds of my life in worse pain? Plus, what comes after? What if that place after death was worse than here? I wish I wasn’t such a ***** and just would do it already. I wish I knew what came next. All these wishes of mine lead to death and what comes after. If I just had someone 100% there for me, I think I wouldn’t be in this mess.
First of all, I want to preface this post by saying that, while my problem may not come close to some of the situations you might face each day, the emotional distress, uselessness and inadequacy I feel is just as intense.
I go to a private school, where the tuition is more than many colleges. Everyone at my school is going to become a doctor or a lawyer or a fundamental physicist. I don’t want to be any of these. All i want to do is teach elementary school. Â If that means that i can’t drive an audi or mercedes like my parents, thats fine. Everyday […]
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