i don’t know where to start. i’m 22 and to keep it perfectly honest i’m a beautiful, intelligent, upper class, white female. nobody thinks i have any problems… and if i do, they’re miniscule. it’s a lie. i’m living a lie. every cry for help that i make isn’t taken seriously because people can’t seem to fathom that someone who is so blessed could be so absolutely and incessantly depressed. i have been through every anti-depressant/bipolar medication, talked to countless psychiatrists/therapists/psychologists for the last 7 years… you name it, i’ve probably done it in hopes of pulling myself out of this never-ending rabbit hole that […]
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hello internet
i just wanna write something what i think of stuff, hope you can underestand what i mean because english is not my first language. I found this page by searching google for information about hanging. Sitting in my room alone ( im not going to kill myself) just thinking about that if someone wants to kill themselves they should be allowed to. If youre over 18 and havnt got any mental health problems which would affect your ability to make decisions. its your decision and alot of people are lying that they care and just talking stuff like they know but they just saying […]
I don’t know how to explain my self. WHO AM I.
Im seeing a new therapist today and im extremely anxious.
I don’t even know what to say to her.
AM I SIMPLE OR AM I COMPLICATED
I don’t know where to start.
I don’t want to have miscommunication and misunderstanding
I am scared of myself.
I am scared of finding myself. Who I truly am.
I don’t know how to introduce myself like how do I define myself if I can’t think clearly, if I don’t have much going for me, if I don’t have real friends if I do not have many strengths, or interests. I bad at just about everything, […]
I’m 5’7… so i’m too tall
My hair is shoulder length… so its too short
I hate wearing makeup… so im ugly
Ive had sex with 3 men…so im a whore
I’m pregnant…so im used
I let him beat me…so im weak
I beat him up because he beat me one time too many…so i’m a man
I cut myself…so i only want attention
I cry…so im dramatic
I’m popular and have no real friends…so im pathetic
I’m smart…so im a geek
I dont want another boyfriend…so nobody wants me
He’s had sex with me…so I belong to him
Why is it that ALL I feel is pain?
My days are always getting flooded full of rain.
I say this bathtub is blooded, watchin all this blood drip.
Just ONE more cut across maybe down both wrists.
My wish, is to be in my world.
This is the most I’ve ever bled, my brain is getting fed up with all this bull shit.
Maybe I should get a pistol and find that full clip.
Yeah!, I think that’ll work, but then again I want the pain to hurt. I like slow pain.
Just one more cut, I promise this is IT.
Where’s my pills […]
Today was actually ok, my dad didnt yell that much my mom was nice and everything went pretty smoothly…only probelm is tommorows monday amd get to see all the bitchy cheerlearders and other annoying assholes…i wish my friends understood, whemever i start to tell them they get this wierd arkward lookso i always end up making it into a joke and pretend it was nothing. Im tired if trying to conform into to someome im not..i dont even know who i anymore. From basicaly kindergarden i was the “wierd kid” the one who was always too mature, my mom used to call me an […]
I hate being alone all the time. Â Especially now. Â I’m kind of drunk, so I’m actually kind of in a good mood. Â Well, good might be a bit of an overstatement, but it’s like I can pretend to be okay and I just wish there was someone to hang out with me and be silly drunk with. Â Bonus points if they’re a cute girl I can make out with. Â Haha.
I miss having friends. Â Real friends. Â Even if one of my (so-called) friends called me right now, it still wouldn’t be the same. Â I haven’t seen them a long time. Or even really talked to […]
I started to cry myself to sleep when I was in the second grade. I was bullied, and could never really find myself with any real friends. I have always tried to be overly accommodating hoping that this would help people like me, but it doesn’t work. I am 25 and still do this, and it still doesn’t work. I am used at work. They take advantage of me because they know I will not say no. I feel like I am back in second grade. Killing myself has always felt like it will be the best thing for me. Too bad I’m more afraid […]
Something I wrote years ago expressing my only real goal. I was raised southern baptist. And while most people fell on their knees and bowed to god I wanted to be one. And I read some of the Torah, Quran, a lot on Buddha, the Hindu deities, Shinto etc. I figured that I’d wipe the slate clean and just give all beings the chance to create their own universe to their own liking and they could be free to interact or not as they will. None of this forced acquiescence and forced submission that currently exists. If so many ideals, rules, expectations, mores, traditions, religions, […]
Hey,
I do not know what to say really. I’ve been on the brink of suicide for quite a while I am very anxious so you may get confused while reading. I have been on this site since last year, and I am depressed. I have little energy to live. Now do me one favor. Please do not write comments such as “oh, everything will be better, just wait and see.” If you want to comment, please in form of advice, I am sick of sympathy. So I have lived in an Arab country my entire life. Everything started in kindergarten. I was in a German kindergarten, and I use to bully […]
Seven years ago my husband left me and my one year old daughter. Â He was very verbally abusive and I never realized how much he tore me down. Â Since then it has been one bad relationship (if you can call them that) after another. Â I have been smacked around, forced to have sex, and used just for sex and I stupidly believed that people loved me when in fact they were just using me. Â I don’t think anyone has ever really loved me. Â The only person that has kept me going is my daughter but I am starting to think maybe she is better off […]
Spent New Years Eve completely alone. I have nothing left to live for. I have no real friends, no job, no education, am ugly, have never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin in my mid 20’s. I have never even kissed a girl. Truly pathetic. I have crippling social anxiety and am too scared to even go about seeing a prostitute. I just need to muster up enough energy and courage to go through with my plan and not fuck up and I will never have to endure another moment as myself… I genuinely wish everyone that is here who still have hope […]
So it all started in the fifth grade, My uncle had just died from cancer. I was sad of course. I started to wear alot of black. People of course did’nt care all they did was call me gothic and emo. My life was just so stupid, I didn’t know what to do at the age of 10, I had friends but why would I tell them anything? So I just became really isolated and just kept to myself, I thought this was just a new to live life, But then my mom was diagnosed with deppresion and Bipolar, Before that my parent’s split upp, […]
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