Oh Suicide Project,
That sweet stranger that I think of so often but visit far less. It has been ages and I fear I’ve locked away all these real emotions again. Alas, I will be back for the time because you are the only silent friend I can seek out for comfort and solace.
Until next time,
TheForgottenFew
Tag:
real
Just two days ago, my dog had to be put to sleep. As I’m typing this, I should be getting some sleep myself. It’s 1:30am, and I don’t want to, nor can’t I, sleep.
The worst part? He was my only real friend. From the moment I owned him, even to this day, I had, and still have, a grand total of zero human friends.
All my schoolmates did was one of three things: say hello once a month, ignore me, or see how far they could push me, if they could make me snap.
It must have been their favourite game: Push The Freak Until He Breaks. […]
I’m a 15 year old Sophomore in highschool.
I don’t believe in God, so I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think the only reason people “love” God is because they don’t want to risk going to hell IF God is real. Humans act on self interest, right?
Back to suicide, I plan on commiting suicide after I graduate high school. I’m not depressed at all, and there is no underlying depression, but I just think life is pointless. You work hard in highschool so you can go to college and work hard so you can get a job, and then you work hard for the […]
Despair is repressed, only for a short-while, It cannot be hidden for too long. People start seeing it. It eagerly reveals its existence, like a child wanting to reveal his talents, in a school- play. Just like a play, despair is viewed as “fictitious”; in they’re mind, it’s only in your mind. Some believe it’s the lack of gratitude and love you show towards ’em; some, simply, enjoy your despair, it makes them feel better. In either case, their ego is the window in which, they view your despair. All this happens, as if they’ve never felt sad; as if they suddenly developed a relative […]
I will never comprehend how most people are able to continue on with their existence without an overwhelming feeling of despair. It truly baffles me how anyone can be happy, yet I so dramatically opposite.
I wish I could free myself of my existence but it’s so hard, it’s not as if I have any attachments to this world. It’s just so hard to stay motivated for anything, hell even my suicidal depression lacks any real conviction to see my dream through.
I hope a plane crashes on top of me, I’ll even settle for a flying cow…
There’s no doubts that now you’re not longer mine, You never were but I swear that what you gave me, made me feel like it was real; that I wasn’t dreaming. It hurts but it’s done. It’s so fucking hard to understand, but not impossible to knew that this was going to happen.
And just remember that besides you’re with someone else, and even that I know that the fucking time will pass, I will never ever forget you, besides everything I’ll love you. I love you.
To whom you decided to love, I don’t really know if she’s aware of the blessing that she […]
So I’ve been fighting through terrible depression for a lot of years. I was in an abusive relationship for over a decade where my insecurities anxieties and depression were used to keep me blind and dumb. All my friends have moved or disappeared. I was not raised to communicate or express myself properly.
All of this has lead to me just spending my days wishing I could die. Apparently this would upset too many people.
My question is why can’t I? Why can’t I have what I want? I just want peace. I don’t feel like a real person anymore and I just want to […]
I don’t know why I’m depressed. If someone asked me why or if I was writing a suicide note and trying to explain it, I wouldn’t know what to say. My parents are constantly at each others throats, have been for as long as I can remember. I’ve seen violence in my family, even been on the receiving end of it a few times. My old school was horrible, my classmates hated me and always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. But those three reasons are all I can think of and they’re not even that bad. My parents love me […]
Not sure how to make since of anything.. Between hearing seeing and feeling things I’m unsure are real or not or the strange thoughts and being afraid of it all.. The other day it was pouring rain and the wind shield wipers were on high the water quickly beading and dripping down again all I could see was blood… I wished for it and hoped for it … I’m so tired of holding this feeling in.. Some ppl say it’s all a lie some just think I’m crazy but why? Why is that what I thought of ? Because of the long addiction I had/have […]
My father told me that he thinks our cat is “on the way out”. On Christmas Eve. All I could say is “Why would you say that to me?” and go to the bathroom, my safe place. I turned on the water and cried for half an hour, my mind going to different places where I would be in less emotional turmoil. I wish I could experience everything I imagine for real, but I am not meant for any of that. I thought maybe I made it up in my head, and my father didn’t say any of that to me. He didn’t even apologize […]
At the begining it was only to see if it would hurt as much as i was hurting inside. After, it became like an addiction. It pinched my skin and a soft line of blood ran down my skin. It felt wonderful. I didn’t know what real love is and didn’t have a single friend. So who would care?
It’s been 3 years now that I self harm and struggle with depression. I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times but each time i woke up in a hospital…alive. I thought these pills and alcohol would save me from this fucked up world but it was only […]
no one knows what’s in my mind. no one even knows the real version of the story. everyday, I’m still thinking about the night that killed me. i’m dead but still bleeding? isn’t that strange? everyday, i live in the hell of being stuck with that fucked up mind in a world that i don’t even want to live in. i’mstanding close to the edge wishing someone could finally push me. i’m afraid. still, i don’t want help. i just want to be free…
When you die, people honor you, people miss you, some people are glad you died, even. But give it a few years and you just sort of… disappear. You become that one person who died from ________ (fill in the blank) and it all ends there. People may or may not have some memorial to honor you, but only if they’re those kinds of people. You’re sort of forgotten as everyone goes on about their lives, I imagine.
I guess that’s what I find so enticing about suicide. I’ll just die and everyone will forget about me after a few years. There will be no excuses or any […]
So, it seems like if one wants to lay it all out there this is the place.
Ok, I hate life. I don’t enjoy things like most people seem to. I am a SWM, 42, and I can’t dance because I feel like a fool, and really feeling like a fool is essentially my basic state of mind most of the time. I also have trouble eating, which has a very long childhood story to it. I have a very hard time trying new foods, cant just eat it anyway to be polite, and often cant even eat foods I normally like if they are prepared […]
Why don’t we pull the trigger? Why don’t we tighten the noose? Why don’t we swallow the pills? Why don’t we jump from the roof? What stops us? I mean, let’s all be real with ourselves. Everyone is here on this site because they are or at least have been suicidal. Everyone here contemplates pulling that trigger, tightening that noose, swallowing those pills, or jumping off that roof. So, really, what stops us? I think it’s a fear that we will be making the wrong decision. It’s like there’s a chance of it getting better. We hear that cliché line so much that it’s stored […]
I’ve heard somewhere that people with some form of disability usually end up having dysfunctional relationship. Not because their physical disability, though it’s a factor too, but because of their world view. they usually misconstrued “hanging out”as real romantic affection. this usually happens when there is a deep seeded inacceptance (if that’s a word) of themselves. And when someone lends a helping hand or acts sympathetic, they feel as though they have finally found a person that is better than them(only in the sense that the person is accepting), and so, worthy of their love.
what I’ve found about myself is that, because I am…highly […]
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world.” Is there really no hope for me anymore?
by niki
written by niki
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & […]
Life sucks. It’s pretty simple. When you are born…your mother shits and pisses herself (at least most women do). So you’re born into shit and piss. When you die…you defecate yourself. Your life begins and ends in shit. And do you know what is all through your life? Shit. We do our best to get through it. But it’s all shit. People are fake liars. And even the best of us (humans/mankind) are pretty fucking terrible. Nothing good ever lasts. The pain and loneliness of life just builds and mounts. We sleep, eat, work, pay bills, go through heartache, headaches, financial problems, have families that […]
Honestly i just feel like theres no cure to being me. Despite all my good points i feel like my personality is hollow and empty. Because it was pain and trauma that developed, that shaped who i am completely, to the point its all there is inside me. I was molested as a child, abused and harassed for being anorexic or self harming, dealt with poverty and a severely mentally ill mother often by myself when my father was basically out of the picture, grew up isolated (no school, no friends), i’ve been homeless and just so much shit (some i dont want to get […]
cold as fuck yo