Hello, I first want to say I hope everyone is having a good day. I suppose mine would be a bit better if you all in the SP community could clear something up for me if you would. I have seen that you all wish to attack a certain member on here called Squid. And I do not wish to start anything by this post and I am sure you all will start in with your reasons of why he is indeed a Pedophile. I only wish to truly understand with clear evidence what is causing this to be said and nothing more. I do […]
Tag:
reasons
Hi again all you humans. Its been awil since I last posted. But today I randomly felt like I should… well what ive decided on saying is this… this is my messege of hope to every one out there. Don give up. Sometimes things might take awil to get better or change. They might never change. But we have to keep fighting. Oblivion is inevitable people. Early or late it happens… we cant change that… there are many reasons a person could feel these ways. We feel… lose of a loved one. Child hood abuse. bullies. Hating yourself. Negetivity. Etc. Milions of reasons. I might […]
Today, 09/05, I just turn 25. I am just so blessed for being able to complete another year of my life.
So very blessed.
Today was a day like all days, nothing out of the ordinary. Simple, normal, even monotonous I could say. But it’s ok; it makes me happy just being alive. I make sure my parents hear me saying that. I am so blessed. (help me). I am finishing my Production Engineering course at the end of the year and I am glad. (please help me) this is definitely what I want for my life. I make sure my friends hear me saying that. (somebody) […]
It’s beautiful in such a twisted and haunting way, how there are so many people around the world right now; so many sad people… who are all thinking at the same time, and for their own reasons, “I want to die”. And they’re all so alone. And just a tiny handful of them, out of a sea of people, travel to this website. I wish I could hug one of you. That would be something really special.
I hope everyone makes it through tonight/today and smiles at least once.
It was the supreme power, matrix or whatever it is called wanted me to suffer. That’s why all those escape routes I could have were brutally eliminated. I am made to loose and suffer. Family is one big cause of this mess but there were other reasons too. No matter how much I try, the supreme power will always derail it. May my life end quickly. Hopefully today. On this auspicious occasion of Ganesh Puja, a religious Hindu festival I want to finish this mess called life.
I know what I want to do. I’ve always known it. Yet somehow it never gets done. I asked my therapist to just think of me finally getting everything he ever thought I would enjoy. People don’t think that way; especially not therapists. I am ashamed of my feelings. I think of all of the people who will die today; many of whom have very real reasons for wanting to live. I just think why can’t it be me? If X number of ppl need to die today why can’t one of them be me. A person who doesn’t want to live anymore. Do any […]
I really don’t know if I qualify for being depressed. I chose to have “depressed” as a part of my user name because it was a label that people were throwing onto me. I thought that depression was irrational. Wanting to die for no reason seems like depression, but wanting to die because of say, spiritual reasons or philosophical reasons does not seem much like a “chemical imbalance” to me. I should probably be careful with what I state here, but I believe that some people actually have rational reasons for suicide.
I don’t know if my reasoning would be so rational, though. All I want […]
Most days I want to end it. I don’t have a plan. I don’t dwell on a way out. I just want it all to end.
When I was 12 (I’m 30 now) I first thought about suicide. It seemed romantic. Maybe I’d come back as a ghost – if a somehow fashioned a guillotine then I’d haunt my house like Marie Antoinette. Maybe I’d get to meet god, the real god. As irrational as it sounds, I was curious about death – what was it like on the other side? IS there an other side? That being said, I was also looking for a way out. I […]
“Why do you want to die?” They asked before I was forced into therapy. “Was it the deaths in your family? How bout your parents devorce? Or was it being taken away from your parents christmas eve at 7 years old?” Well no. I had finally pushed that back in my mind until it was brought up. Now that was almost 3 year ago and maybe then thats why i wanted to die but now idk why. Maybe the social anxiey and depression ive developed. The worthlesness and pain i feel deep inside because thats all i can cause others. pain. so as i […]
Posted in here weeks ago, had severe depression from chronic pain and could see no end.
Out of the blue I was contacted by someone who wants the same as me, but for different reasons.
Was a total shock to me to even get a response and to speak to someone so determined to go through with it.
They are interstate and will be travelling up tomorrow to work out the details of how/when etc.
I’m in law school. I’m kicking ass in law school. I’ve got a great (paid) job this summer. I’m competitively seeking jobs for next summer already.
And I’m a fucking drunk. I probably wouldn’t need both hands to count the number of times in the past year that I haven’t had at least 3-4 drinks before bed.
And I fucking hate myself.
And I feel pathetic for hating myself, when my future is unfolding before me.
I have, deliberately (or almost so), sabotaged everything in my life. For the most part, it worked. Now, as I stand at actually having a career, every attempt I make at sabotage is […]
I don’t particularly like to sleep. Slept 7 hours last night, better than most nights. Guess I’m happy about that but my body is achey and tired and i want to stay in bed forever. Getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world lately. just a few weeks of not getting up on time, not starting my day. My therapist tells me to be proud of myself for getting to work at all. I want to be, I do.
I don’t know what I want. Life doesn’t really seem to have a point. The last few years I’ve been operating on the idea […]
i constantly tell people not to hurt themselves or that their beautiful or worth something but yet i tell myself the complete opposite going through so much crap and yet i give hope to people but cant give it to myself. i could tell someone a million reasons why they shouldn’t kill themselves or hurt themselves but when i try and think of even one reason to stay here i cant. why is that?
Peut etres, le gas Francais, son coeur, il y va me sauver.
Xavier, Anatole, Jeremy, Lore. Life was so fun.
Constance and her castle with an indoor swimming pool and spa.
The party room in the attic. Oh, and Eva. Oh, mondieux.
Then I moved to the State, fourteen years later. Fated, and now.
Seeking to save my life, here, on Suicide Project.
I tried, I attempted, at life. Sucked inside my monster, was only I.
Only I, and still will ever so. Vowed, please, make me strong.
I lost a long time ago. From suffering death, I seek life.
Here on my opposite end […]
I changed my mind.
A few days ago, i was reading this article on this girl. She had committed suicide, no one wrote a review there was not an obituary, no one noticed that she was gone. I have come across many articles like that to be honest. People like us do not get recognized , we are probably not important. I’ve come to realization that I am not important, that no one would care if i was gone, that every cut i make should be deeper and deeper. William Shakespeare wrote “What greater punishment is there than life when you’ve lost everything that made it worth living?” I […]
So I think the one thing I am proudest of is how much of a geek i am (LARP D&D video games etc…) heres the thing i havnt had the time to attend any of my games lately because of real life responsibilities
To get a feeling for me as a person im 25 i live with a super good looking girl who i somehow convinced to date me a few years ago and i just started a great job that is allowing me to get out of the factories ive worked in since i was 17… but because I dont have time to go to […]
When I first started feeling depressed and suicidal I didn’t go through with ending it all because I held onto the hope that things will surely get better, and I could find a way to fix everything. That was 5 years ago and I’m still waiting for things to get better …….
I’m running out of reasons to wait…
I must say, I think the thing I most truly, profoundly hate in this world is people judging every f(I can swear on this site right?) thing I decide on or do. There’s nothing that frightens me more.
It sometimes gets to the point where I hide feelings and thoughts, ideas and decisions. Why do people do that? I wouldn’t ever judge anyone based on their decisions without even knowing them. Everybody has their own reasons. Like me, right?
People just make me mad. Anybody feel the same?
Feeling fed up,
PURPLEPAIN
Hey kiddo, I don’t know if you still wander around this site (you know who you are), but if you do I wanted to tell you something. Your great grandma died on this day sixteen years ago, I wish she would have had the chance to know you. She would have loved you so much, she never judged people who think like us. She would have told you how wonderful you are and given you a million and one reasons to never give up. I miss her and she isn’t here to say those things to you, but I am. I love you so much, […]