I am a person in my mid 20’s, and I suck. My dad went on a twenty min. rant on how I suck this morning, I’m broke and have no future, the girl I’m obsessed with is with another dude, and most of all I’m an embarrasement freak of a person on a objective level. No one loves me or will, I don’t believe in god (for logical, not emotional reasons). Hell I’ve had a relative that laughed at me for crying because my childhood dog died. No one has ever loved me, not family, not people in a relationship with me, […]
Tag:
Reassurance
I need reassurance. I think way to much. i need to be productive. Block out any damaging thoight that is uncomfortable. I have to stop analysing stop second guessing myaelf.
Any dosturbing thought -BLOCKED.
As i conciously start identofying bad thoughts i realiZe theyre EVERYWHERE and i LET them dictate how i feel.
Any suggestions how i can block these uncomfortable thoughts??
For example i often analyze what ive said to someone or how i answered them and i asked myself “how did that sound to them? And all these uncomdortable questions about what ive done and if i did it “right” i […]
Finally saw my best friend. She is alive and as beautyful as ever:) Â but we did a lot of talking.. She is going to go through with her plan, but promised to stay a little longer because I need her. I guess I accept her leaving me, so long as its not anytime soon.
She is the only one who knows exactly what is going on right now and I can’t loose the other person that I love and that is apart of who I am.
Last night was a night of reassurance, so long as she keeps her promise. at least for now
Lately, I’ve been trying to determine if I was born broken or if my life made me this way.
I mean, I can go down the list of my life experiences and lay out a path of the things that seem to have lead up to the way I am now. But, might not a better person, with better DNA or a better soul or whatever you believe to be at the core of us, have reacted differently to the same kind of life. Maybe I’m just not meant to be well, or worthy or happy.
I can’t sleep much at all anymore. My mind just races […]
In church, they tell you that porn stars are girls who have completely shattered lives and who behave in ways to find reassurance from men; girls who are desperate for love and for Jesus.
Wanna know the truth? I have the love of Christ, and am thankful for it. I have friends and family who I trust, and an adoring fiance. Know why I star in porn? Because there’s no other fucking way to make enough to live in this shitty country. Tell me how to get even a minimum wage full-time job in a tiny college town, or anywhere, really. Better yet, tell me […]
I feel really abandoned. This is related to events occurring months ago, but I feel a resurgence of the emotional pain. All my friends from college save two stopped talking to me about a month or so after I graduated in December. When friends leave I usually let that happen because I know friends come and go; however, I’m twenty-three with no current future plans, so these friends were my only social network. And they just stopped communicating with me. They moved on, so I can’t blame them specifically, yet it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset and alone. I’m really well-meaning, and […]
Round 2
Hello again. Once again I am Katie and I am a junior in high school and I am doing a Real Change project on Suicide. The name of the project is “You Don’t Know Me” because, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. But I want to get to know you. I want to know you well enough so you can know yourself. I am making a video for people who need reasurance of the beauties of the world. A reassurance to live. My basis of the project is on these three principles:
1)Someone to love
2) Something to do
3) Something to look forward […]
right im 22, i live in england and this is my story.
i met the girl of my dreams and we fell in love and after 8 years she is leaving me
i just dont know what todo anymore i feel like my whole life has just been flushed away and im losing everything. iv gave so much up for her and now im having to start all over again. originally i lived in newcastle then i had to move to london with my parents and i had to start over again and there i made friends and stuff then a few years later i met this girl […]
Before, I tried suicide. Got locked up in a loony bin for a while. It’s never left my mind. I want it—even now. As we speak. I need it. But more than anything right now, I just want to talk to somebody. I don’t know. Here’s something I thought was the last thing I would ever write; guess I was wrong.
Throughout all the noise,
Withstanding all distraction.
The first form of a laugh,
Starting in your throat.
The calm overwhelms,
Takes Control;
Pats your hand, Strokes your hair.
Fatal Reassurance .
What you once feared most ,
Now your closest friend.
A smile on your […]