I just keep on going, but I’m so very tired of it. My family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, none of them want me to give up and go. But it’s all I can do to just brush my teeth or eat something.
I lost my job a month ago. It was my first real job out of college. It was full-time, paid very well. I was so happy. Elated. I wanted to do my best, and my boss wanted us to be best friends (she said as much). I should have known better. Your boss is not your friend. I confided in her, relied […]
Everything seems to be slipping out of my hands right now. My relationship with my boyfriend, who was also my best friend. My relationship with my parents. My mom has just left the house. I am here trying to drown my grief somehow. I dont know what to do. I have younger siblings I should take care of right? But I need to be taken care of. My boyfriend is not understanding. he doesn’t even know what else I am going through. Im so lost and confused.
A teenager growing up in a world where he has many friends, he gets good grades, he’s athletic, he likes girls and girls like him, it seems like nothing can go wrong in the world. He loves spending time outside. He loves snowboarding, soccer, basketball, and football. He’s finally met the girl of his dreams and he’s in a relationship with her. He’s in college and he’s loving his freedom. He studies, but not as well as he should. He’s off in his little world, populated by the students of his college, where nothing can touch him from the outside. The only things that harm […]
Before I begin with my story, let me just say that I’m staring death in the face and I’m at the end of my pitiful rope. It’s a long story so please get comfortable. At the very end, is a letter to my love.
September 25, 2010 – The day my life would change forever.
I had been talking to this girl I liked for a while now, we had a lot in common, so we set up a movie date. September 25 was our first date. She looked beautiful that summer night. I remember what she wore, how her hair was, and most of all, that […]
So I have s terrible family, no friends, I’ve totally ruined the best relationship I’ve ever had. I don’t see much reason in moving on any more, I’ve been stuck in this rut for my entire life… I’ve wanted to die for so long, and I’ve only ever once attempted suicide when I was 11 (17 now). So yeah, I have no hope and no faith in this life. The only thing that’s been really holding me back from killing myself is that I don’t want people to feel bad over my death (stupid right?), but the agony of living it is worth them feeling […]
The long, sad story of my self-hate and depression:
I know there’s something wrong with me.. i feel there’s something wrong with me.. there HAS to be something wrong with me. I miss my old self. I miss being normal. I’m just getting more and more pathetic day by day. I can’t really explain what’s happening to me. I try to make sense out of it and i can’t. I’ve heard there’s a period of self-hate during life, but it’s just been getting stronger and stronger. Maybe some people just never grow out of it?
To break it down.. i’m a useless piece of sh_t. I have no […]
Before I begin with my story, let me just say that I’m staring death in the face and I’m at the end of my pitiful rope. It’s a long story so please get comfortable.
September 25, 2010 – The day my life would change forever.
I had been talking to this girl I liked for a while now, we had a lot in common, so we set up a movie date. September 25 was our first date. She looked beautiful that summer night. I remember what she wore, how her hair was, and most of all, that long hug she gave me when I first walked up […]
My bad attitude caused by frustration and self hatred has pushed those who used to care about me far far away. I know we’re all alone no matter what, but it kills me not to have at least that illusion making us feel as though we are not alone. I started cutting a few days ago and each day the  cut gets a  little deeper. I was just looking for a distraction from my emotional pain. I haven’t felt happiness all year. I’m beginning to question if there even is a possibility for me to feel happiness again. I used to rely on strangers to […]
“I sit here contemplating my life, I wonder what it has become. I raised four beautiful children on my own who in turn have given me two beautiful grandchildren.” Now why would someone who has that want to commit suicide?
Lets take a deeper look into the life of this young woman who seems to have it all: She’s a single mother who’s children have grown and started their own live’s in other cities, even in other states. She hears from them maybe once a week if not longer unless they need something. They know she’ll always be there. A woman who finds herself alone […]
Yesterday, I got arrested for obstructing justice. My parents were not pleased, obviously. Especially my father. I don’t have a close relationship with my father, so I think it was pretty easy for him to disown me as his son. My mom tried to defend me and say that I’ve accompolished a lot in my lifetime, but then my dad pointed a finger at me and said, “when the fuck was the last time this stupid son of a ***** did ANYTHING right? Give me date!”. I wanted to stab him so bad… But then I realized he was right. I haven’t done shit with […]
It would seem as though I have a lot. Well-off family, decently attractive, intelligent…the list goes on. Sometimes, I feel like such an asshole for even feeling lousy when so many people in the world are suffering and have none of the things I have. But I just cant find a way to be happy.
I was adopted, so I don’t even know my medical history. Depression in the family? Who knows. I am 22 now and should be graduating from college, but I have transferred twice and can’t connect socially with anyone, anywhere. Everyone thinks I am super smart and know everything, but then why […]
I feel this way, on again, off again. I’m sure other people feel it. I hope no one else does, but at the same time, I hope I’m not alone feeling it. It’s hard to describe it so I won’t right now but I’ll try to express my thoughts because of these feelings. Every time I feel like this, I throw myself into a distraction. Sometimes they’re classes like the piano or learning a new language. Volunteer work. Sometimes it’s following a sports team or being interested in a serial like a TV series. It’s shallow, very hollow, but I thought it helped. When the […]
Just ever feel like your at a ‘breaking point’ when you feel so depressed you just can’t take it anymore? Well that’s me…
All my friends who said they would be there for me all gave up on me or don’t really care. Everynight.Everyday. I’m crying. It’s not like my life is bad. I do have people picking on me but its nothing. I’m not really sure why I’m so depressed….but I know I don’t like it and I don’t want anymore of it. Though I’m not sure what to do. I thought of suicide but I thought I was stupid for thinking of such a […]
i dont know what to do… i like my ex agai… ive been waiting for her for 5-6 years now and shes in a relationship, but thats kinda going dwn the drain and ive been talking to ppl and they say she’s just using me and or toying with me. one minute she would flirt with me and the other she will keep her distance… were already doing “couple like things” where whang out everyday and text everyday, and even talk on the phone till we fall asleep every other day. ppl say that im her fall to guy but i dont want to be […]
It is ‘down’ town tonight here [on the other side of the world from most of you]
I guess most people realise eventually that they’re totally alone, it’s how much that reality gets to you and how long you have it going through your head.
I’ve had clinical depression on & off most of my life, my wife just doesn’t get it, sharing it with ‘friends’ it ends up consuming the relationship, my kids have seen all their teenage years watching me struggle along.
The only thing I’d like from here is somehow to connect a bit, have some things in common with others, like i feel i […]
It’s really disgusting to hear some successful story of how someone being happy by adopting the manipulation of others.
One instance that, the famous actor Woody Allen broke the trust between being a father and his adopted daughter by engaging in sex, saying that it’s all because of love.
It’s like, while a girl is sad and in need of comfort, by pathetically crying into the arms of a gay flatmate, naked with just a thin bed-lining covered, and afterward boldly announced to others that somehow it was the gay that initiated and
seduced to have sex.
So, wasn’t there a trust already announced solidly at the […]
Does death have to be such a stigma ? If I choose to go can my loved ones be satisfied knowing that peace is with me (I hope) and I no longer suffer the unbearable, day to day mental obfuscation my own mind commits yet is self unrecognizable while it’s happening and too late to matter enough after the fact ? That has been my struggle since I was 18, I suppose, I’m 26 now and I’m ready to join the 27 club(if I get there). Everybody has their problems I suppose and I am no different, however I do feel like a 1 in […]
Where to begin is hard. Then again nothi ge come easy. I’m getting older and more mature obviously but to me, I think others see me as a child. I dont honestly think I’m suicidal. I couldn’t be. The outside looking in my life is complacently perfect. I would be viewed lucky by most. Friends, a loving girlfriend, well liked, two parents, grandparents, a job and not a lot but a reasonable amount of money. In reality though- my best friend is leaving me for a group off cocky self obsorbed pricks; we were close, always different but he was indeed my best friend. My […]
I am not looking for help, for words of pity. Nor do I want to be lied about a diety that “loves me” and has a plan for me. I have a plan: end my life.
I have not found the right method and appropriate time to end my mysery. Reason? I am sick of getting rejected time after time after time. If someone was to observe my life from utside in a thumbnail, they would think my life is enviable. I get to travel around the world, have a decent salary, get to spoil myself doing whatever I want. Right.
I am 31 […]
Back in January, i really realized that my life really sucked. Im an overweight 15 year old girl in 9th grade. I always hated myself in middle school because it felt like i didn’t fit in with anybody. And it felt like nobody liked me. Then, the bullying started. In 7th grade =, this boy named Cameron started calling me names and pushing me in the hallways and stuff. He called me names like fat ***** and ugly hoe and stuff. He got expelled for that because someone saw what he was doing and reported it to the principle. Then in 8th […]
Please log in to report posts