It’s been almost 2 weeks since I stopped cutting, I was not that bad when I stopped that’s why I did, but I don’t think I’ve ever had this huge need to cut like I have right now, it’s getting really tough…I’m not sure I can continue like this, maybe I should continue doing it, nothing seems to care, I don’t even care so…
Tag:
right
my ex is right back at it again. Yesterday I was working in the fuel station, and apparently he kept telling customers and co-workers alike how horrible of a person I am. It got so bad that someone from the service desk called me down at the kiosk to warn me of what Alex was doing. shitty thing is, I can’t really do anything about it
Nobody tells the future. Â Futures don’t have infinite linearity to each distinctive, singular life. Â I have more future then past in my life right now. Â And they say . . . live for that. Â Truth be told, no – we can not undergo a set-in-stone determination of what the future will be. But the implications of life now can decide what the future might be like. Â Life is bad right now, driving me to the last of me, all done by my own hand. Â What makes it worse, is I can’t pick out any possibility for a future with a good outcome.
Quiero morir
Déjame ir
I first cut myself at age twelve. And tried to commit suicide. I was diagnosed with depression right before I turned thirteen.
Now before all of you come at me saying “that can’t be true” or “12 is a little kid,” I have been an extremely advanced individual all my life. I was reading above most adults level at the age of ten. Most people thought I was lucky but to be able to understand everything going on around me at such a young age was torturous for me. My mother and father had very hard psychological pasts, my father being handed around from person to […]
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/01-Take-It-Away.wmaExit, stage right
You can’t convince me, to keep up this fight
There’s nothing here for me
Except more tragedy
I can’t outrun the past
And, I know, I will not last
I don’t have to take it
And don’t ask where my faith went
It never existed to begin with
If you think you can shame me
With the hope I’ll consider staying
Then you’ve got another think coming
Just say goodbye
Because I’m tired of trying
So i get blamed for everything when it comes around my friends. They fight they put me in the middle they stop talking “omg its all your fault you shouldnt even got in it the first place” um excuse you ***** youre the one putting me in the middle of this shit so how about you fuck off you fucking ****. Relationship ends they tell me to help them cause they dont what to do i tell them straight up facts of why it didnt work “omg youre not even helping dont even try anymore okay even if i listen itll end and its going […]
I think I’m on the verge of having an anxiety attack right now, I need to write this down to calm my nerves.
Just when I think things are going okay, everything goes downhill somehow. My classes are going all wrong, I can’t concentrate on my studies, I’m scared of even walking in the streets, I feel watched, observed, I feel inferior to those and everything around me, though I know I’m not.
A few months ago I stopped speaking to a “friend” of mine after she threw another of her little stupid tantrums on me, we’re 18 years old, I’m not a little girl […]
What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
Last nite I was so upset, i was more than ready to kill myself. Instead of hurting myself, I decided to just wait another day. I went to sleep.
when I woke up, I was still upset, but I had calmed down. I just wanted to stay in bed all day but I couldnt, I had to go to work. I’m suicidal most days, but when it comes to work, Im too fucking responsible.
Right now I’m just as upset as yesterday, but I’m just going to sleep hoping that tomorrow is less annoying
First of all, since this is my first post, I would like to thank the dear reader for its time reading this at all!
First about me…I am 20 years old, and attend university where I study engineering. Relationships never worked out for me. Long distance was the one that really lasted more than a year. Anyhow, I do not want to talk about my break up or anything like that. It is not relevant.
What I would like to talk about are opportunities. What are you doing with your life? Why are you still here? What makes you keep going?
You are in the middle of […]
i would love to kill myself right now. Â I just can’t tolerate myself anymore. I have no desire for anything, Ive been carrying to much weight on my shoulders for so long. Â I just cant keep going anymore. But Im just gonna go to sleep n live one more day
My dad is always getting pissed off all day. I think he’s just really stressed all the time. And I get that but he lets his anger show all the time (a little too much for my taste) Anyways so I decided to type this up right now because I just recently witnessed my dad’s abusive parenting?(I don’t know if it was) My dad just got done screaming at my little brother for having bad grades. Not only did he scream at him but he also grabbed him tightly by the arms like he was some kind of dummy and started shaking him violently while […]
Why did I have to bring her down with me??She had everything.I made her life worse.Because of me she’s not at her house anymore:(I finally know what Ima do.I start on the third so Ima work for a month In a half.Give some money to my mom and give the rest to her.As for me.I feel sorry for the maid that walks In my room.Until then I have stay to make things right.
if someone gave me a gun right now, i wouldn’t even hesitate to shoot myself.
warning i am writing this out of lonliness, i am telling my story that may be traumatic and triggering to others and my journey so far. i am leaving out some strong details, but i will leave subtle hints to the other things i experienced which others will understand if they’ve experienced also.
Why is it? some people are just always last? always the scum to everyone else?
When you try so hard in your life and people say your doing great but you know your going no where inside, when you scream but no one hears you?
When you can’t get close to anyone anymore, when i […]
There’s been times in my life when change rattled me so bad, that I stayed up at night pondering the endless outcomes that could take place.
Then the flip side was seeking change so I could continue on without going mad.
Looking back, I don’t enjoy the contridictions that have taken place…..and honestly, neither change or no change sounds good right now.
Perfect time to go
I have 480 pills (24,000 MG of diphenhydramine HCL) should be enough to kill someone who is over 100 pounds.I’m only 85-88 pounds so this might actually work.My birthday is on Wednesday I’m 14 right now.I’m not sure what I want anymore sometimes I really want to die,but other times I’m not sure.I feel so lonely right now and I don’t really have any plans for the future either.No one really talks to me.I had this counselor I met once a week but since my ‘medicaid’ got cancelled I can’t talk to her and no one else seems to care.My grades kinda suck and I have no […]
I wanna cut my wrist so fucking back right now but I have this job thing on the third & I dont want people seeing them.I really dont want to cut on my thies or anywhere else.Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I have a pencil sharpener!!
Razors&drugs cause a n+«»a fucking depressed
And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I’ll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time.