I am not a wall
I am not a door,
Why is it okay for me to always be ignored?
Lack of importance, lack of self-respect
Suicide conquers alot of people,
please let me be the next.
Day by day,Night by niight
No more battling
I can’t win this fight.
Scars are there to remind me, how I used to feel,
but I take a step back to look,
nothing seems to be real.
I go through the motions,
every fucking day,
but when you ask me what’s wrong,
I don’t know what to say.
Darkness is around me,
everywhere I turn,
Happiness is what […]
I have been thinking about cutting my arm all day now. Thinking about how to bandage it, what angle to cut it, when and what to use. I miss these thoughts, but I feel like I am letting so many people down by considering them. My mind is in two as I think about cutting my flesh, I think about the look I would get from my mum, the look of inconvenience.
It’s winter, and wearing long sleeves isn’t a weird thing to do now. So hiding my wounds wouldn’t be as hard.
And to be honest, they don’t care. Even if they did notice my scars, […]
I had my first boyfriend when I was fourteen. I made a mistake by trusting him, loving him, thinking he really loved me. I introduced him to my mum, who was cool about it.
But then he tried to rape me. I got away, but it was too late, he already had taken pictures of me topless. I am not getting them back.
I did not know it right away, but one day, I thought erase my mistake, rub it off, get it over with, so I messaged him on MSN, telling him what would happen if anyone knew of that day. Then he used […]
i have scars. yeah, they’re pretty bad. all up my arms and legs. But they serve a nice purpose. they remind not to do dumb shit like trust anyone, or believe there is hope, or even believe in general. they remind me that life is one big game of lies, of which, i lose. They remind me that life is like a funhouse mirror, you think everything is perfect until you step in front of one. and then BAM! everything just goes wack. so yeah, I wear black. “typical emo” though right? (*bastards*) I wear black to remind me that everyday is a day to […]
A close friend of mine did something similar to this on his page so I decided to try it too. The difference is I guess my suicidal thoughts and low self esteem started long before online friends or dating.
I grew up in a family of eight plus. We did foster care for two kids so there was sometimes an extra girl in the house. I was always biologically the oldest though. If you’ve grown up in a big family, then you probably understand where I’m coming from when I say it’s like survival of the fittest. And when the three oldest siblings are you […]
Last night was just an all around bad night. My girlfriend needed to go to the hospital and I offered to go with her, but she said “no” because I need to sleep for school, understandable. And then my boyfriend said he will go with and she jumped at the idea which honestly just bugged the shit out of me. I mean, how in the world did it make sense that she only wanted him with her. I just was so mad. And then again I was bothered because they just automatically assumed I will watch their 2 year old daughter. And yes, I know […]
Nobody WANTS to understand.
Society’s just a big shambles.
Everybody cares when you’re dead.
What’s the point?!
“Can the lonely take the place of you?”
I’ll forever be fine in your eyes. I don’t hurt. I don’t cry. I don’t cut my skin. I don’t want to die. I’m not unhappy.
I don’t think about killing myself every single moment of every single day.
(Sorry if you don’t understand I’m from chile)Yesterday a close friend of mine told that she cuts only once because she want to know how it feels… She said to me that she was frustrated because she knew about my cuttings etc…
First I felt her as a sister she didn’t judge me she try to understand me but then I felt guilty because she is self harming her by nothing… By my fault
I told her to stop and she said that she will never do it again but I steel feeling bad :'(
IT’S MY FAULT
I CAN’T DO SOMETHING WITHOUT […]
I finally started talking to my counselor because I need help. Biggest mistake ever. She told me if I was going to commit suicide she had to tell my parents. She lied. I told her I think about it a lot. Now I sleep on my parents floor like a dog. Everyone talks to me like I’m about to die. I really messed up. I don’t think anyone would ever understand how much I care for my family. They are all I have even if that’s not much they made mistakes but I don’t like to stress them out or make them cry. I wish […]
“We’re all lying to the mirror, lying to ourselves.”
I almost ended my life after my drama performance.
I was stage manager, so I wasn’t an actor, like all of my friends. Already I was alone.
All I heard at the lunch table was how much fun it was, and how I should join drama. In it, no one talked to me, and I felt alone all the time. I felt abandoned.
Now these same friends say that I can talk to them about anything. But, in class they rarly talk to me, and I feel alone. I have SAD, and I need my friends now. They are seniors, and are leaving next year, and […]
I want to take it all away
Take back what I told you
It changes how you feel about me
I can see it in your eyes
No matter how much you deny
I can hear it in your tone
No matter how much you say no
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This is why I don’t
Tell people how I feel
They make assumptions
Most of them aren’t real
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And they don’t deserve the burden
It should be mine to bear
Still I can’t help wishing
That someone else would share
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Still I can’t help wishing
There was somebody out there
Who would hear all I have to say
And it wouldn’t change the way they thought of me
Or how they looked at me
Or how they acted […]
Being a science major in high school …..its hard….i cut but i know im anaemic ……i dont eat even i know i may get an ulcer …i pass out at nights because i am so weak yet still i do this every day …
Enough of my confusion….the next poem name is Words.
Scars around your body
Blood flowing from your heart
to your vein through your skin
Splint in two by the red ***
Bruises internally . each word they said
scars your soul to hate this day
Words of regret, Words of mistakes
Words to make you not want to see another day
Knife to your heart, Blade to your soul
The last breath […]
We carry the scars on our bodies everywhere we go. We carry the scars on our hearts. We carry the fear someone will see them, we carry the shame when people do. We carry pins, knives, razors. We carry bandaids & disinfectant. We carry a little kernel of hope that we will get out of this. We carry hearts so heavy they drag on the ground. We carry our bloodstained clothes. Sometimes we carry hospital bills for stiches. Othertimes we carry them for therapists. We are the burdens on our families, we are the misunderstood. We are the ones who people stay away from when […]
Twinkle Twinkle little scars.
How did all this ever start.
Took a razor blade apart.
Slit my wrist and left a mark.
No one cares and why should they.
I’m as messed up as can be.
Twinkle Twinkle little scars.
What will it take to stop my heart.
It’s been tiring these past few weeks.. I can’t think anymore.. I just slouch and barely talk.. slouch and barely try anymore.. I just want to let out all of this crying but no matter how hard I try I can’t even seem to squeeze out a tear.. I always taste throw up in the back of my throat.. I can feel my veins on my temples from being stressed.. It’s too tiring.. to be human.. I hate being Human… Everyone saw my scars today while I changed and I was confronted by all of my classmates.. confronted and lectured… I’m too tired to do […]
I was about 11 when I realized nobody cared I mean family is suppose to care. I never had a stable family drugs or liquor ruined my family yet there sober now and they are so caught up in the mess they made that I’m invisible to them. I am no longer sober from liquor today just was so bad I had to drink my psychiatrist  thinks I’m crazy because of the scars on my arm I had to show him.. I broke down and cried in front of people I never cry in front of people. It’s just it’s hopeless. I don’t feel like trying anymore. The whole world can […]
Cutting those cuts,
feeling the razor blade slice into your skin,
seeing the blood flow…
No, I know it sure,
I will never heal of self mutilation.
NEVER
And those scars will always stay…
ALWAYS
There will come more of them.
Because the feeling I get is indiscribable.
Feeling that pain that’s going through my whole body,
feeling something and feeling numb,
feeling like it’s my best friend,
my best help,
the only thing I can trust.
Yeah, that blade and that stanley knife are really MY best friends.
A little poem written by myself:
And then you’re sitting there,
crying in the corner of the […]
“wake up” no one says and she rises to a lonely cold morning, its only four and shes not tired.. she walks to the kitchen, feet padding softly on the white tile. The bright glow from the fridge lights up half of the small apartment and she sighs. “thanks for the dinner.” she muttered in pain, the girl hadn’t eaten in two days because everyone else got to the fridge first. after a burning hot shower she stood in front of the steamy mirror staring at her horrid reflection.. tan skin, almost boy short tangled hair and scars on her face.. the girls took her […]
We all have felt the pain of this cruel world. Bullies, insensitive adults, ridiculing teachers, and so much more. This is a pain that seems to last forever. Truth is, it really does. I still can remember the pain I felt when I was bullied in elementary school. No matter how many cuts and bruises we take, we will never feel a relief. I love to feel the bite of any razor, and even cut over the same cuts over and over. Still though, over time the pain I recieve from these cuts dwindle more and more over time. My body now ridden with dozens […]