Hey guys I decided I would just share my story before coming to a final close. I am a nineteen year old male living in Austin who has become disgustingly depressed. I grew up what you would call a “perfect child,” as school work became my entire life. My parents are high class, high expectation type of people who get on my ass about every little negative detail about me. I feel like I have grown up a robot, and now I am waking up to see how tragic my life is like. I have been to wilderness program and a therapeutic boardinig school just […]
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I feel so glad to have found this site. I just want to say what I’ve felt for so long without the typical, “It’ll get better! You’ll be fine!”. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times. First time I chickened out of shooting myself, second time I drank 5 energy drinks and took sleep aids and that didn’t work. I’m just a freshman in college…I did this in high school. The third time almost worked I think. I suffocated myself with duct tape. Sounds stupid, right? I woke the next morning. My lungs were on fire and my sides hurt, but I woke up. For a while […]
Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]
I never really had a good life. My brother and mom never listened when I needed them, and my dad left when I was three. Middle school was where it got really hard. Over and over kids would come up to me to spout some insult just for the kick of it. No one ever even asked if I was okay. I had to change my personality over and over to try and fit in, now I don’t even know who I am. High school was the turning point from bad to the worst. My dad tried coming back because I won some academic award, […]
I hate the feeling of not knowing how to do something or not getting things right away, it makes me feel obviously dumb as hell and incompetent. Final exams are coming up and being “stressed” is a damn understatement.. Maintaining my grades and not disappointing my parents.. I usually only write about how fast my emotions change but I’ve been feeling quite stagnant. Its weird to not have ‘episodes’ but hell its a fucking relief. Sorry this isn’t too cohesive I just wanted to write something here. And is anyone good at chemistry and is willing to help me? The teacher is 70 something damn years old […]
I’m a 23 years old Asian girl. I’m sorry if my English is not good (also posting by my cell phone) and my life story is too long. In my country, my family was quite poor and I wasn’t really good at studying. My only hope was not to become a failure like my parents. I hated my father for being so helpless and not trying hard to take care of my family. When my aunt suggested for my family to immigrate to the country I’m living in right now, I was thrilled with joy. I hated my country and their education system. All my […]
So the plan I had created, exactly October 24, 2012 is still in. And I have to say I am really proud of myself. Because on that day I wanted to go home and kill myself. But I told myself, “not yet, because you’re still a kid. What if your life gets better after your graduate.” So I graduated high school that year, and I made a promise that I will try to community college and then transfer to University, so experience life a little. I decided to let myself try at least one semester in university, away from my parents and family. And try […]
It’s gotten so bad lately. Like, seriously, I’m doing worse in school and I’ve been so close to ending it 4 times in the past 2 months. I have it all planned, I can just never execute the plan. What am I suppose to do? Everything is getting worse, my friend might die from an illness and my other “friend” just causes me stress and makes it hard to not relapse. I already have but I’ve been clean since but it’s so hard to not relapse. I want it. But I don’t. I don’t want anymore scars, I don’t want to hurt. Sometimes I feel […]
I’m so sick of having to live up to expectations. I’m 16, doesn’t that mean I should be able to live a little? My parents have all of these standards for me like just because I’m Chinese and my brother is a genius doesn’t mean I am smart! Because I’m not! In fact, I have C’s and B’s and sometimes D’s and F’s, and I work my ass off to get them. Just because my brother didn’t have a social life doesn’t mean I can’t step foot out the door more than once a weekend. Yes I drink. Yes I smoke weed. I’m in high […]
Right now my life feels like I’m window shopping. I look in the glass with my family in it and I feel alone. I see my sister my mom and dad all having a great time, going out to dinners, shopping, football games. And I’m standing at the window usually high, drunk, or sleeping. I walk past the window of my school and I see other students striving with their plans, about to graduate. As for me I’m staring through the window considering dropping out, I can’t even wake up in the morning to get myself to school. I look in the window of my […]
I mean, how do they help. I already know what’s wrong and I can’t fix it. I’ve been twice. I cancelled yesterday’s appointment because I don’t see the point. I’m a private person, whining to this yahoo ain’t helping anything, just let’s another judge me. I’m very close to leaving, I’m having the same feeling you get on your last day on the job, the last day of school. I’m done. There will be another failure and that’ll be enough to push the first domino.
Why the fuck do I NEED therapy. It won’t fix anything.
When I was in senior school I wanted to die; I don’t mean that in the typical “too much work, not enough freedom” way… I mean it, I really wanted to die. I’d written the perfect note, I had a million painkillers all crushed up ready to mix with some water and down. I didn’t even care what anyone said that day at school ‘cause I knew when I got home it would all be over. Lunchtime arrived and I only had two lessons left until the end of the day; double English. I loved English ‘cause no one really bothered me in it. For […]
I dont understand 🙁
I feel like im useless, all i want is to be successful.. People say that if you work hard enough and invest yourself fully in what you want that you will be successful but what about the hobo on the corner? He wanted to be an artist and spent all his money on his art and droped out of school to proceed his pasion.. He failed.. And he gave it his all.. How do i know that wont be me?
I don’t know how much longer i can keep faking a smile. Whether it be at school, home, with friends and family I don’t think i can keep it up much longer. I might end up running away and never coming back..
I don’t know what to do. I bet nobody would care or notice if I left anyways
Why don’t I pack up and leave for good? :/ I am alone as it is anyways….
Well, what can I say? I’m actually quite surprised that I’m actually still here today. I used to cut, and I believe I’m one year clean as of yesterday. When I’m at school, it’s as if everyone wants me gone. But when I come online, it’s like everyone in the whole technical universe loves me for who I am, and that’s probably the whole reason I’m still here, because of internet people. You guys are the best, and always make my day. Whether it be by cracking a joke, or telling an awesome story! (: I thank you guys for that. I look forward to each […]
I can’t do this much longer. I’m a guy, in high school, failing all my classes, and failing last years classes too. I’m too far behind. I’ll never graduate. I have no friends at all. No one cares about me. No one ever did. I hate it when people say no one cares about them when obviously people do. The only one that actually cares about me is my sister, she’s my only friend too. I have thoughts of suicide constantly, idk what to do. I want to get on a right track.. but life really sucks right now too. I mean, school isn’t my […]
My desire and motivation have been very low for the past couple of years that I have been called “depressed.” I couldn’t go to college for more than a couple of weeks before I started skipping and realising that it was just like high school, where it seemed that the aspirations of everyone were to get drunk and make stupid decisions, which I had a difficult time understanding. (If they hated consciousness so much, why didn’t they commit suicide?) What is the point of living past high school anyways? I always liked learning, but that’s proving to be more trouble than it’s worth. With the […]
I am having such trouble at school that I come home crying. I started high school. My friend doesn’t go there, she goes to a different school. I moved so I got zoned for another school. The people in my grade already has their friends, and cliques and I am just left out. My only close friend that I have doesn’t even talk to me as much as we did last year. I have like 1 or 2 people I hang out with at school but I don’t think that they even want to be friends with me. They make plans without me, hangout without […]
He is imperfect. Short, freckled, quiet. Intelligent with stunning blue eyes. Depressed and anxious. Heart broken and ostracized.
To me he is perfect. But he has been gone for quite some time now, locked away in a mental hospital I know he abhors. I didn’t know how much he meant to me until he wasn’t there. My days became more dull, I stopped smiling as much. I became sensitive, I holed up in my room, dreaming impossible dreams of a life with him.
I began to forget his voice. His beautiful face. His small stature compared to my tall one. The notes we would write each other […]
I was born into relatively lower middle class family. My mother is an school teacher all her life and my dad is an alcoholic since forever working in construction. Ive born into a small town, with no opportunites and with no financial aid, I attended the school and finished by graduating 12 classes. As a kid I played used to enjoy playing football or just pass time as a computer which is most of my whole life. But If I were to defy myself Im incredibly shallow, no confidence/self esteem, have not felt anything in years, no-one to care for or something to hold value […]