Window Shopping

Right now my life feels like I’m window shopping. I look in the glass with my family in it and I feel alone. I see my sister my mom and dad all having a great time, going out to dinners, shopping, football games. And I’m standing at the window usually high, drunk, or sleeping. I walk past the window of my school and I see other students striving with their plans, about to graduate. As for me I’m staring through the window considering dropping out, I can’t even wake up in the morning to get myself to school. I look in the window of my job. Many people are talking to one another, connecting, making friends. While I stand out the window staring down the clock hoping I can go home as soon as possible. I go to my final window, the window with my boyfriend in it. And I stare as he sits by himself waiting for me to come back to him. But I can’t because I’m to busy staring through this window of opportunity of what my life can be. Everything that I looked at through these windows could be mine, but it’s unfortunate because I no longer want any of these things in my life because my life is worthless. I have been overly consumed with negative thinking, social pressure, school pressure, work pressure. I hold myself to the greatest expectations and I have failed them all. I am my worst enemy. I have made it so that life is no longer enjoyable. As I window shop I just look for the store in which I can return this life, because it’s just not fit for me anymore.