Tag:
Self
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Smile-Empty-Soul-Self-Inflicted.mp3
Recently I found a pretty cool band on YouTube, called Smile Empty Soul. I can relate to most of the songs and lyrics so much, especially to self inflicted, a song that just tells the story of my life.
I’m glad that I found this song, although it makes me see how frustrating my life actually is and it reminds me of all the shit that happened again.
Still I can’t stop listening to this songs with that so fucking accurate lyrics.
So here it is, with the hope that some of you like it as well.
Motivated
Hard work
Constructive
Self pity
Sloth
Suicide
Money
Relationships
Happiness
Dreams
Your eyes, green
Freckled face, in a smile
Walking away, always
Sunny day, I think today
Gone again, again you’re gone
But sometimes we meet
Oh the joy, though quickly faded
Lie in the seat, poetry, jaded
I don’t really know what to do anymore. I tried to kill myself once. I’m sure this time I can do it right. I know what I messed up. I’m just tired of who I am. I’m fat, like 250lbs. I’m ugly. Its obvious. For the longest time I was ok so long as I thought I was intelligent or committed, but I don’t think I am anymore. Sure I was intelligent in High school, but that barely counts now. Not that anything I learned matters, when the only jobs I can get are in a restaurant or a call center.
And now I’m alone. I […]
Heart wide open
I’m am the chosen
Lost and broken
So many words left unspoken
Oh how I wish I was more outspoken
I try to sleep but I’m always awoken
Nightmares, eating at my soul, an empty soulless erosion
I have nothing left, I am emotionless
Make no motions
My mind reopens
Racing thoughts it’ll soon be an explosion
Self destruct in 3……2…….1….
From a rock to a brick, sand to glass… what would it mean of the mind or for man to turn his sights to being a brick and/or a glass unto himself? To use his every tool, his every object, and ergo; to use his every existence; his time and his mind! Man sees it within his nature or his ancestral talents that he is able to chisel a statue out of a mere rock yet he cannot chisel himself to such perfection and detail? What has him so fooled that he is not able to see the rocks and sands of this earth and […]
My email is always open to anyone to needs to talk about anything:
Self harm
Depression
Suicide
Or just need a friend 🙂
Selseyc@gmail.com
The Dweller Alone by Stella Benson
My Self has grown too mad for me to master.
Craven, beyond what comfort I can find,
It cries: “Oh, God, I am stricken with disaster.”
Cries in the night: “I am stricken, I am blind….”
I will divorce it. I will make my dwelling
Far from my Self.
Not through these hind’ring tears
Will I see men’s tears shed.
Not with these ears
Will I hear news that tortures in the telling.
I will go seeking for my soul’s remotest
And stillest place.
For oh, I starve and thirst
To hear in quietness man’s passionate protest,
Against the doom with which his world is cursed.
Not my own wand’rings—not my own abidings—
Shall give my search […]
I just met someone a couple days ago and already they talking to me about their problems. Second person in a months’ time. I must give off some kind of aura or something that people feel comfortable opening up to me soon after meeting me. It’s true, I’m trustworthy, I actually listen, I actually give a damn, and I won’t judge. Probably cause I deal with my own issues every day. I don’t know.
So why can’t I help myself? Am helping others to somehow try to help myself? Am I hoping than once I’ve helped them, they will turn around and help me? Ah, but […]
So much self doubt that I will survive these suicidal urges. Even my therapist is really worried about me. I can’t get suicide off my mind. Lately some issues have resurfaced that have caused me to start burning again and have me thinking of suicide almost constantly. These issues include relationships(romantic),fear of abandonment/rejection,boundaries,self hatred,etc…I keep having dreams/nightmares about suicide and think about suicide all day long. I watch videos on how to do it,videos about people who have committed suicide,videos about people who have survived suicide attempts and listen to songs about suicide. Several times lately I have had the knife to my wrist ready […]
I honestly hate myself more than someone could ever do 🙁 Why did i have to be born in this place and body , why do i have to suffer so much. I am not a normal person anymore, my body is starting to slowly die. I am pale and always cold, i dont go out anymore , all i do is lock myself in my dark room and barely eat anything. I am scared that it will hurt when i do it, but i decided that there is nothing left for me.
I hate looking myself at the mirror , it just reminds me of […]
I hope this is the final revelation followed by action, for what is a revelation in itself? I see a universe inside me and there is a god there, he was’nt there when I was born but with each passing day he took birth and grew stronger. And I am not saying this in a good way. The loop is in me, there is a disconnect in my brain and it is tough to mend it.
The solution is to let me go. Beg for wishes like we always do, but this time beg your own self for things, for you are all there […]
Its been heating up nicely in Pennsylvania. Had some ugly (obvious self harm) scars on my arm since last November. 5 of them, they made me sick. I was so fucked up (drunk) when I did them it was hazey to remember. I used a steak knife because I didn’t have a razor. Really tore the skin apart. (Saw fatty tissue) the next day I was fucking pissed. I let a fucked up shell of the worst of me scar me. The first month was bad. They wouldn’t heal. I thought I was going to have to stich it up myself with fishing line because […]