I see life’s travel before my eyes, and many years have passed an I am still hear. Locked always, in this shell of a thing. Roaming about this world I greave for them all not to see. Yet all they have to do is look in the mirror and fine it ,for them selves. From their own book in hand do they judge ,and server the one they fear most. Yet they never learn the gift that they where given. Choice: to be able to change, the fate of man instead of following the wheel. Sometime I start to think they are not who they […]
why won’t the pain in my heart and mind  stop
why must i live in this shell and suffer the days and nights .
why does god keep me lock in this shell to suffer so much
why have i never found love in this life
how can i say good bye to my  only child without hurting her
how can i make them see that I’ve run out of time
why is it so hard to dream the dream of peace
why is it so hard to let go, all i wanted in this world is to  be loved
i am i selfish to want to end this life
. how can i […]
it seeps into your heart, your mind, your soul wrecking your body everywhere it goes.
i cant take the time to stop and think where am i going? Who is gonna help me?
you wake up in the middle of the night and your dreams scare you right out of your bed.
How do i get out of this?
You take a knife and you just cut because after you do it sends shivers of warm fuzzy tingles throughout your senses.
it leaves you shivering with ecstasy
You wish someone would help you but all they can say is are you okay?
How do they […]
I cant stop crying. Why has everything changed!
I’m back to this rotting heap that is my mind and body.
I wish my body were rotting, maybe then it wouldnt be so fat and gross.
New relationship? Â How can I have a good relationship with someone if I cant have one with myself.
I hate everything about this me.
I cant take a deep breath without tearing up,
I cant shower without a razor to my skin,
I cant sleep without dreaming of darkness and I cant smile without a stabbing pain within.
When did my life end and this nightmare begin?!
The constant movement, struggle, and rotation of the world sets my mind ablaze. The constant parade of our society shouting demands from all people of all ages to look like this, talk like this, dress like this, believe in this, support this; if not, you’re nothing. How sweet is that…?
The neverending battle between good and evil, which has an invisible origin, kills my nerves every day. It’s like it makes me paranoid, asking myself constantly, “Am I believing in the right God?”, “Am I acting like I’m supposed to in order to be a member of this spiritual group/organization?”…..thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ or […]
I’ve  been living a hermit lifestyle for a while now(a few years), after being bullied in the 6th grade it was my way of protecting myself because I thought “nobody likes me”  so why not save myself the trouble and from then on I was the only person I could go to but after a while that started to hurt myself emotionally and I really began to hate myself and I couldn’t trust anyone and felt like I was less than everyone that nobody could understand me, sometimes I wished that I could make duplicate of me just to talk to. I don’t trust anyone […]
I am 25 years old. I have always had problems with depression, with self-harm; I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I promised myself that the third time would be the last; I won’t mess it up, next time. The third time will be the end.
The third time is all I can think about lately. I have lost everything, these past few months. Two years ago, I moved 1000 miles away from home; away from all my family, who spent my entire childhood abusing and neglecting me, and away from all my toxic friends that only dragged me down into their messes. I wanted a fresh start; […]
Is your joke still funny when you see my scars?
Is your joke still funny when you see my tears?
When you see me wish for death?
when you see me in so much pain?
Is it still funny when all i think about is ways of dying?
When i wanna just kill myself?
when you know it was all your fault?
when you know that you pushed me over that line?
That it was your fault i cut out my veins?
when it was your fault i overdosed?
when you know it was your fault i put that rope over my neck?
Is your joke still funny when you see me basically dead but still […]
I took care of my mom and sister while she was sick and when we werre moving around alot it was hard to keep our spirits up. And the last few months of my moms life was too hard on me. I moved in with a friend while she was in hospice at my house. She later died in the hospital that i was born in. I didnt move back home until 4months after my moms death.during that time i didnt eat, sleep, or talk. i lived on water. i ran for three hours a day, and cut myself before i went to bed. i […]
My head is pounding i cant take the screams..i turned 18 today why aint i happy? Why does she keep banging on the door?? Cant she leave me already?? I dont even know why im writing here right now but i just need to talk without being yelled at or judged..why wont she understand im nlt crazy!! All i want is quiet..i want to rest..im in my bathroom sitting on the floor..my wrists are bleeding and it wont stop..im scared..i want to sleep..just sleep and stay like that..my hands are getting numb its getting hard to type..theres blood on my shirt and the […]
A girl falls, brakes her leg, and can never walk again. Does anybody care other then her parents? No. One rumour about something that didn’t even happen gets spread and suddenly she’s labeled whore for the rest of her school years. No matter how much of a goodie two shoes she is, the name will stick to her.
For years to come shell sit alone in a dark corner looking back at the bleak rumour that started it all. Blood runs down as she takes a few more pills. She can’t take this anymore. She doesn’t want to. She wish’s it would all just go […]
just turned 19 ive already am off to a bad start lost my only friend and the weird part is I DONT EVEN CARE. i have no current desire to patch our friendship up. I guess its because then ill have one less thing to worry about, to act
happy with, to feel judged around and to avoid certain sensitive topics with like what ive been up to. which has been shit all. No job no school, few interesting feats and gossip. i am house bound ii am pathetic and lazy. i stay up all nite searching for the answers and […]
leve me alone i dont like this i whant out of that billding i whant to go home
a fleeting glimps of what i youst to be of the boy runing torw my haed in a feld
were the red and blue flowers grow were the grass grows tall and thick were the boy who at age 9 pikt up a gutat and nevet let go he still hasut but the words of his songs talk of deth ad losst love with no way out with somthing to shout about WITH the will to go on
a fleeting glimps of what i was
a chilld […]
A have you ever gotten that feeling you know the one that nothing is quiet right and that nothing will ever be right? Let’s operate that you do know this delight because you googled “suicide stories. That formentioned feeling is how my life’s been running in for awhile and to be honest I don’t care much nW. there’s a deep gutting feeling to all my crickets now ranging from joke telling to hanigning out with my best friends. It’s as if I wasn’t suicide to tell this joker hanging out here cause I’mdeeded somewhere else or rathe rnor needed but suppose to be and that […]
I could fight, but then I might
All too knowingly invite
Useless hope into this life
A life that isn’t right
Made of dark, afraid of light
Called to empty, endless night
A life that isn’t even life
I could plead, get on my knees
And beg my God to fill my need
But where is He now when I bleed?
And then I sit alone and read
Of those who in their pain secede
To death’s thirsty, luring greed
Let me follow where they lead
I could fake and lie and break
In secret, cuts and bruises make
To cope with a life I long to take
Hating every day I wake
Living only for your sake
Drowning in this burning lake
Sinking down […]
I came from a unforunate upbringing. Suffice to say, there was lots of weird stuff that is crimminal and will follow me until the day that I die. I put up a shell that protected me. When I moved out of the house at 18 I lived alone. I worked alone. At this time I was morbidly obese. I overcame that addition. Got in shape. Enlisted in the reserves. Finished my B.Sc. and now find my self in Law School. It took me 12 years of my life to get to be a freshman law school student. 4 years ago I met a girl. Despite […]
I accidentally slept for hours when I got home today and I didn’t wake up refreshed, I just woke up feeling numbly sad. Everything’s too quiet and this silence is too loud and I have no idea how to make it go away. My words aren’t working like they usually do and I can barely string a sentence together. It’s just that right now I’m too caught up in my loneliness and self loathing to think straight and I am scared and I want everything to end, so I’m just babbling on here until it maybe starts to go away. In Religious Studies today, my […]
A long time ago there was a girl.
She was happy and care free.
Then she woke up.
The children got meaner,
Her parents’ “constructive criticisim” got harder and harder.
His hand got higher and higher.
The secrets grew deeper and deeper.
She began to lose her smile.
Her laugh
Her voice.
She walks now. A prisoner in her own mind.
She’s nothing but a shell.
So long now its been, she cant even remember what its like to be happy.
She did everything to feel anything.
She became what her father always knew she would.
She clung to the razor to remind herself she’s alive.
She drank so she wouldn’t remember the night.
She took the drugs to numb the pain […]
I look up and see the clouds above me. I feel pain and only pain when the rain falls. It feels like acid eating at my skin.
I feel pain with every key stroke on this post. I know you don’t get it. IT ALL HURTS.
I feel pain when see my phone, a piecing pain that shoots through me for every text from my so called friends.
The fake smile I put on for the world to see pulls on my heart telling me to cry. I stay dehydrated so IÂ don’t cry so none knows.
I stay strong don’t let it show. I see the faces of […]
Besides what’s going on in my life
I had a bad day at school..
I was teased in every class…
For stupid stuf..
like for example I was called myrightnut
My names Myra…
And I was during about this in my notebook and someone tried to take it from me and I smacked their hand..
Then people started calling me a cat..
Calling me names..
And ECT… I’ve had two people say stop she’s gonna go sit somplace cry..
Wait keep talking maybe shell die if she does..
Stupid stuff…. And I only have one real friend thirbfor me …
Her names saveena..
She helps me…
I dont get the sence in cutting…
But for everytime im bullied ima keep […]
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