i feel all alone.
sometimes i just do not think i am going to make it.
one of these times i will be right.
maybe tomorrow. maybe tonight.
it is a nice night for a flight.
Tag:
Sick Joke
You pull me out of your hat
Whenever your down
But when I need you
There’s only darkness around
Wish you’d wave the wand
Every now and then
Maybe just respond
Cuz I could use a friend
But you keep me caged in
Until you have a bad day
Then you cry to me again
“Everything will be okay”
That’s all you wanna hear right?
That your ”cuts” will heal over night
But they’re just scrapes alright
Cuz I ain’t even ate tonight
Cuz you won’t feed me
But I don’t need three
Meals a day, just to say
“Hey, I’m gonna cut the bone today”
And I’m not competing
But your […]
Why is it that so many of the most beautiful and gentle souls one could ever meet feel so desperate to the point of being suicidal, yet so many awful people can just waltz through life without giving anyone else a second thought? I suspect that the answer may be in this question.
It’s a sick joke.
just a random impulse to kill myself tonite, i need to be free fromthis sick joke called ”life”. i probably wont be successfull tho… im a very confused 18 y old girl. life hasnt given me reason to haveany interest in it.i love being alone. wish icould describe how i genuinely feel. i havebeen stronger than anyone could be if theyve been wat ive been through…idont even know watim thnking let alone saying..ive been hurting for farrrr tooo long,, i dont wish this pain on anyone.
as i sit here typing each word that pops into my mind, i feel so friken depressed. i think of my past present and future. my past was horrible my present is worse and my fututre might be hell or i might so something with my self. i havent talked to my father in forever cuz i dont trust him he a crack head and i dont feel safe around him he is just worsesome. i saw him for the first time in 2 years and i started to cry cuz i felt scared and weak. i started cutting myself again. i feel like shit […]
i’ve stopped wanting to get better, this thing has a mind of its own. just a few weeks ago i could see half-way clear trying to get ahead of it..then the voices got in, i kept trying to push them away, it got more and more and then they wouldn’t shut up at all..now i stopped existing and everything i do or think is directed at finding loopholes in this absurd ‘you shouldn’t kill yourself’ bullshit..i don’t even self-medicate, i’ve checked out completely, don’t feel anything, don’t want anything except to not be. i’m too full of people, too full of memories, too full of […]
I remember the day I did it. I laughed and laughed and laughed until my laughter mixed with my tears and sobs. I sat in my bathroom floor while I laughed. No one was home.
I had tried to kill myself. taken pills. I was on pain meds and muscle relaxers (I have a bad back.). I had had an argument with my aunts and parents, I was feeling worthless, I’m always causing problems to them. I can never be that bundle of joy I was when I was younger. My mind is to messed up for that.
But I remember. I took one, then […]
So…I’m 20 year old girl who is feeling like a loser for her whole life.
I fail at college which my parents and I pay a lot of money for. I just don’t feel like studying. Even when I find the will to do that, it disappears quickly and rarely returns. Â I find studying boring and unefficient. I fail at being a college student.
This is just what was been worrying me recently. My whole life is some kind of a sick joke someone got me into and I have the feeling that everyone around me laugh at me behind my back. I’m just miserable.
So I think […]
For seven years now ive been lieing to myself believing things would get better, people would change….my efforts to hold on would pay off….but ive hit a point where everything has lost meaning and hope….my thoughts of suicide are my only form of happiness now…my life has lost value i no longer see the point in waken up….i cant escape my thoughts no matter how hard i try….everyone doesnt   realize the hurt i feel n why its so easy for me to jus not care about anything…they take it as a  joke n use me as an escape from their lives….ive tried to reach out for […]