everyday is like a struggle. A breath I can’t seem to find. When all the pain from last night comes into my mind. All the feelings all the people that I just can’t figure out, I’ve finally found a solution to get my life sorted out. I’ve searched and searched, through this journey of sorrow. I’ve hid and I’ve found, I’ve taken and borrowed. After all this time, I hear Death calling my name. I know I hear it, I know I do, I swear I’m not insane. He comes in the dark, when father closes the door. His voice is scary and sweet, something […]
Tag:
single
I am so full of hate…despair…anger…hopelessness…desperation…that I feel as though I would explode. and I usually do…and like a black hole’s singularity, I collapse up on my emotions. there I’m lost in the silence that follows the chaos I’m surrounded with,
I’ve longed for death since I was a boy of 10. I don’t know how or why it started, but the darkness in me out grew me. the depression engulfed me. the sadness drowned me.
and in my few sane episodes, I boil with the anger that pushes me to madness. in those moments of my own version of sanity, I look to the […]
I’ve felt empty since my teenage years. And now I’m 24. I never felt disapointed in me, even though I’ve never been happy with myself. More like always on other people. I never have spoken out loud about these things. Vice versa I pretend to be happiest person on this earth. Always cheering people to chase their dreams, whatnot. I never felt that there would be someone that would fully understand me enough. I get always the attention I don’t enjoy to get but don’t show it. Every single night I cry myself to sleep and wake up with a such a heartache. I feel […]
I’ve started visiting this site a bit too often.It means to me that my life is going from bad to worse. This is definitely not a good sign.I don’t know how my life happened to end up this way. The sole cause is me myself. I cannot appreciate a single thing around me. I cannot appreciate a little good whatsoever my parents do for me or the words of wisdom people pass down on me.I have one or two friends who actually care for me.I’m young so maybe I’m yet to see some good things coming on my way. But, no. I cannot see the […]
I deleted my old post because well it was just another cry for help answered by the very reason I despise my life.
Honestly, would any of you converse with other humans if you were in my situation? Everywhere you go there’s people on phones or in person (wherever I go) having fake conversations just to get a reaction or to harass me. Fake conversations. Such as the ones going on in my last post that I deleted. It drains the life of me. It’s so ridiculous. The relationship between me and my family is truly lost forever. I’ve never been closer to telling them all […]
Well, what can I say? I’m actually quite surprised that I’m actually still here today. I used to cut, and I believe I’m one year clean as of yesterday. When I’m at school, it’s as if everyone wants me gone. But when I come online, it’s like everyone in the whole technical universe loves me for who I am, and that’s probably the whole reason I’m still here, because of internet people. You guys are the best, and always make my day. Whether it be by cracking a joke, or telling an awesome story! (: I thank you guys for that. I look forward to each […]
I see every single imperfection that comes along with me…hopeing that maybe one day I’ll find a way to fix it…but I know I’ll never be good enough….not for anyone else but myself….I’ll always find something else to pick on…
I have so many questions
And for answers I’m guessin
If life’s a test well then I’m F’n
Everything gettin fucked up fast
Tmw I don’t know if I can last
Laugh hard when we mingle
Cause I’m the only one of us that’s single
And for anything to be serious I have to turn it into a jingle
Man my life is gettin stacked like Pringles
Under pressure ima crack
Headed down any road that ain’t my own
Since in my lain I’m all alone
Pick up the phone to hear the dial tone
Friends has just never been my zone
And now […]
I have been struggling with depression and had 1 fail attempt of committing suicide the only reason why I am still here posting my story of my dog. I was always lonely and was extremely anti-social but having a creature not human comfort you is truly amazing. It’s been 2 month since the suicide attempt and still struggling to get trough a single day of school and living at home in a family that doesn’t understand you. Thank you for reading.
I am 22 and I feel like I am living because I have 2, since I was a child I always knew I was different from the other kids, I was always wondering about death and where I will go… my parents got divorced when I was a kid, I actually don’t remember anything of that, but I remember being raped… since then I have been a lonely person and I am really afraid of relationships with guys , I had friends, but for some reason I ended up cutting the relationships with them, is like, a lot of people know who you are but […]
Fight your enemy.
First destroy his heart,all he loves, and all who love him back.
Next destroy his mind and philosophies.
Finally, cripple him with a single shot.
Now I lay in a state of nothing.
I am dead yet alive for I have defeated my ene-me.
After the dawn has come, and the moon no longer crest..the shadows on the walls still don’t seem to rest. Could be a day to forgive angels and saints..but the blood I’ve drawn is purely symbols for the pain.. and though it seems these ghosts should rest..they wait in the corner for me like a silence breaking breath.. take a single breath, followed by a three..double back to gasp for more, while choking down a fourth, and a fifth.. a day I won’t be fighting for..a day that won’t be missed..
Bring the morning sun, as to show I’m not too far.. far away from […]
i had a stereotypical evil stepmom that hated me undercover for decades.
she did all the evil shit evil step-parents did
emasculated me constantly
framed me for destruction around the house (in addition to the regular mess a child makes)
did interesting food experiments on me (any one with cooking roots to a specific culture knows what im talking about)
and generally made me regret any supposed favor she would do for me
…
i thought when i finally started to hate her, that she would stop
she would regret making the child she raised hate her
but what i didnt know was that
she hated me first
she hated me for longer
she hated me more […]
Greetings, people.
Here I am again. After months of inactivity and facing the world I’ve found that I’ve wound up on this site again. I thought that I might have been able to focus on work and get my head off from my own negativity. But it never works. Time and time again I find myself coming back to the same conclusion – I have nothing to live for. Others might have people who love them, or a lifelong passion, or an unfulfilled wish. It might just be true that I have given up on life itself, and my contemplating of it only furthers my sorrow. […]
whats the point in faking a smile every single day and not being my true self why is it that people just judge you by the scars on you and not even your friends are able to look at your body because they are ashamed to be around you becasue of how ugly you are with these scars yes indeed they make you who you are but why is it people feel the need to fucking judge like its their bussiness
I think I’m depressed, maybe even suicidal. It all started when I was 8. On the day before my 9th birthday, my mum committed suicide….I remember my reaction, I ran into my room, ripped down all my posters, punched the wall (it made a crack) and I broke the class on my bench, then I just ran outside into the rain and cried.
my mum had been depressed for a while, she had no money and struggled to get a job. She was even homeless so she stayed with with her friend (my parents split up). Yeah so most of the time I stayed with my […]
Your smiling so hard, you can almost see the tears behind it. Fake a smile.. Everything will get better right? No, it fucking won’t. I’ve been dreaming of shit to get better for the past 2 years.. not a single thing has changed, it’s just all gotten worst. Fake people at school, knowing that to my family I’m just a disappointment to them.
Nightmares every single night. Can’t stop thinking about it when awake. I sedate myself with trash TV and music and school just to try and forget. But it always comes back… each time I am sadder, angrier, more hopeless than before.
This life must end. At some point, I just need to take the risk and shoot myself in the head. Trying for the find the most desolate stretch of land around me to increase the chances of dying…
Just by happenstance, I stumbled upon this site 10 minutes ago. I saw a quote elsewhere, searched it, and google took me to a post from December of last year. And I sort of had to join.
I don’t know how much I’ll post, I don’t know how much I’ll even come back to this site. But here, right now, this feels like something I need.
I’m in a new city. I have an internship, but it’s unpaid. I don’t know anyone. And my best friend, my single confidant, the only person who I can share these feelings with, moved across the country and is indisposed for […]
To have thought that I would ever ever be understood. Even by those closest to me. All those times that I keep allowing people to lead, to take decisions, to be unreasonable when things are not ok with them- not for once will it be reciprocated. It is a myth that people understand people, it is a myth that people are so close that they ‘get’ one another. No one understands anyone. That is the truth. One single truth. And everyone is there for themselves, convincing you how right they are, defeating you with their logic. At that time it does not matter how many […]