I’m the oldest of two girls. My little sister was born a colic baby so she required a lot of attention. The attention didn’t stop even after my sister stopped crying constantly. It still goes on to this day.
I remember absolutely loathing my sister. Not just because she was spoiled, but the fact that she was spoiled rotten. Not to mention she was a kiss ass as well.
Growing up, she would wrap up my toys for birthdays and Christmas and give them to friends and family our ages. My parents thought it was cute that she was being so thoughtful. I didn’t think […]
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sister
I can’t take this hospital. I’ve tried to hold it together, I’ve tried to be strong, for you guys and for my sister, but I don’t know if I can anymore. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’ve had a complete 180 turn since I was admitted 2 days ago. I feel like there isn’t hope anymore. I just can’t live with my past… it’s too horrible. The only reason why I’m wondering if I shouldn’t is because I don’t know how my sister would react. I think she’d blame herself, and I don’t want that. I just want her […]
Long ago there was a little boy (he was six years old at the time)who played all alone by himself everyday.the little boy never had any friends.the reason for this was that his mother kept having to move them from place to place for new jobs.they werent stable.because of this the boy fell behind in school and felt stupider than the rest of the kids in his grade.he also didnt know what the new trends were and what was ”cool” to the other kids.the boy tried so very very hard to fit in.he just couldnt do it.he tried and tried and tried but no luck. […]
Two days ago, I was in the worst spot of my life. I tried to kill myself. Today, I’m in a hospital and being called a hero, strong, and inspiring. I don’t deserve it and I don’t know why. But I guess it feels nice to be loved for once.
Well, I saw a psychiatrist today. It was pretty much useless. I went in for an hour and a half, and in the end he diagnosed me with depression. Thanks, totally didn’t know that already. Glad it’s costing a couple hundred dollars to see someone who’s telling me shit I already know.
The depression’s starting to come […]
I am a coward. I should have killed myself when i first thought of it. Ironically, i am terrified of self harm. I came from a broken home. My parents were both hard workers, i never really went through financial hardships…. That i could recall but i was rather young when we were poor so maybe that is why. My father is an alcoholic, he always has been. He would constantly hit my mother in front of us and would cause a scene no matter where we were. He was only violent when he was drunk. I remember being 10 when things really started going […]
I’m alive.
And I’m free.
I’ve never been more free in my life.
It feels so good.
I suppose I should explain what happened when I stopped posting yesterday. Basically, the pills were making me really tired and weak. I was dying, basically. It was getting really hard to type, because the simple movements were taking all of my energy. So, I said goodbye to all of you, and I fell asleep. I’m pretty sure it was closer to dying rather then sleeping, but I didn’t know at the time; I was too weak. Anyway, I never moved my laptop from on top of me, because the movement […]
I’ve decided it. I’m going to die. I have a bottle of pills right here beside me. I just wanted to let somebody know. So that I wouldn’t be alone. Not more than I already am, anyway. I thought about posting on Facebook, but I wouldn’t want the two people who would actually see it to worry.
I suppose while I’m at it I might as well tell my story. Don’t worry, it won’t take very long. I’m 16 years old and female. My name is Lucy. I was born on April 18, 1998. To think at that moment in time I had no problems in life. […]
Most people in life have many people who would miss them… I have 1.
My entire life reads like a greek tragedy. First my mother didn’t want me and gave me health problems in an attempt to abort, then my siblings abused me physically (and sexually in one case), Then as I grew older the abuse got worse when we moved by my grandfather. My dad was never really around, and my family didn’t want, need, or had any wish to even see me… my mother would leave me places in the hopes I’d get taken and only my sister seemed to care (she was much […]
Is it weird that part of me is afraid of the water? I guess that’s why I don’t go swimming cause I almost drowned 2 times, once when I was little and another time when I had to save my little sister from drowning in the ocean even though she weighed more than me. And another part of me just doesn’t like the water. Ever since I saved my little sister ( 3 years younger than me) from drowning I have not gone in the water really, Ive only gone in when I had to, for example camp when I had to surf and swim in Catalina […]
When I was little I had 2 sisters, and one mom. The hardest thing about all of these things are that I could of helped them by maybe not even being born. It’s so hard to look at other kids, teenagers or something. I have a bad life because of all of the things that were exposed at the time. I blame my self that she went down because of me. We had literally nothing to do but lay down somewhere and keep warm or even cold. I want to see her so bad, It hurts a lot, I’m lost and confused. All I ask […]
today my mom was yelling saying she wanted to diee & i said me too so she told me to do it & she said she was gunna go home & take pills and kill herself because she didnt want to be a mother anymore and she was done with us (brother,sister & i) …………..i called the cops on her telling them that she was making threats about killing herself am i wrong ??…. i knw shes gunna hate me even more now and never talk to me because of that. my family probably gunna stop talkking to me as well…. im always the […]
Yesterday I wanted to commit suicide so I cut sure it wasn’t on or near the vein but I cut. Today I wanted to commit suicide so I cut right below the veins and I felt yeah I’m better now. But then the future came and my other side said “well today is pleasant isn’t it” and I thought yeah it is. “Well think about this if it is pleasant why are you still here shouldn’t you be dead anyways no one would care” so I thought ya he’s right. So I did I cut right on the veins deep deep into them I watched […]
For the uninitiated, narcissism is a personality disorder that has (almost) nothing to do with vanity, as we commonly understand it. In a nutshell, “their behavior tends to be erratic, manipulative and centered around themselves. In some cases, a person suffering from this condition can become both physically and emotionally abusive…”
“Typically, those with this condition are unable to relate to the emotions of other people, and see any form of criticism as a personal attack. They may react with extreme rage or violence in these situations, or turn the words of their perceived attacker around to make themselves look like victims.”
A little background: my mother […]
In my teens, I was diagnosed with bipolar paranoid schizophrenia. I’m currently 26, without insurance, and no way to afford therapy or medication.
I’ve attempted suicide twice before, first by ingesting a large number of different pills (blood thinners, sleeping pills, basically everything in the cabinet) and the second by ingesting rat poison. I continue to practice self-harm, mostly by tearing at my arms with my nails, or beating myself in the head, for the sake of not hurting someone else because the fact is I want to. I’m angry at everyone all the time, and it has only gotten worse in recent months since my […]
I was able to hang out with a friend, more like sister, that I haven’t seen in what seems like forever. In reality, it was a few months but to us, it felt like lifetimes. We used to see each other every day. She is my sorority sister and we were colleagues. She left the job that we shared because of mistreatment so we didn’t get to see each other every day. Well, we both knew how difficult the job is so we would take turns doing something every week for each other. It helped keep our sanity and our depression in check. Well, she […]
On June 15th 2014 my sister decided that there was no other way for her and ended her life.
That very sentence breaks my heart. It rocks me to the core every time i think of her.. No matter how many times i try to remember all the goods things the one thing that will always stick with me is that SHE decided to end it all in the time it takes to pull a trigger.
She had attempted to take her life in November of 2013 and before that we had had a terrible relationship, but at the thought of losing her forever I decided that […]
hello. I’m kaelyn. I’m 15. this is the part of my story that isn’t so great but i figured that I need to start somewhere.
my parents were 18 when I was born. they weren’t together. I want born into a freakishly religious family. I am not religious at all.
anyways.
I think that the bad thoughts (hurting myself, wanting to die) began around age 8. my mom had a boyfriend who lived with us and my sister was 4. my mom worked all the time. her boyfriend was very abusive. one of the last things i witnessed him do was hold my mom in the air and […]
basically I been molested by my step dad at age 5-8 my uncle forced me to have sex with my cousin jenny at age 6 while he molested her brother and sister at the same time. I been horribly beaten by my step dad from age 5-18, My moms side of the family outcasted me and hated me and treats me like pure crap. I was beaten by my step dad till I was either bleeding or he was tired. no one believed me and he was good at getting people to believe him. I been homeless for a year. I have done all kids […]
Dear family friends and the love of my life,
I have finally hit the wall I cant do this anymore. The pain is just to much. I beg for a way out and this is I guess the only solution to my problems. Isaac I love you more than anything but you could do so much better than me. Please don’t mourn over my death and be happy with another girl.. Melissa my sweet little sister stay strong and don’t let them walk on you like I let them do to me. Mother and father you two are part of the reason I’m doing this. You […]
Just want to first say this:
IF YOU ARE ON HERE READING THIS PLEASE FORCE YOURSELF TO FIND REASONS NOT TO AND THEN COME UP WITH A RADICAL BUT ACHIEVABLE PLAN FOR BEGINNING TO LIVE AND EMBRACE LIFE AGAIN.
YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T RECOGNIZE IT RIGHT NOW.
PAIN, DARKNESS CAN BE OVERCOME.
* * *
Have attempted suicide a few times, most recently 2007 (carbon monoxide, more impulsive and less deliberate) and 2012 (overdose, deliberate and methodical).
2012 was closest to date; received dialysis twice and woke up convinced I had irreversible brain damage. Realize that my resolve to succeed each time is growing and […]