I woke up a little earlier than normal today considering how late I went to sleep last night, I didn’t feel angry or frustrated today but I definitely felt how normally do during school which is like I won’t be able to think or work on anything because I’ve got so much going through my mind like a storm of nerves. I feel that every person with depression(maybe not all) can relate to the shame and the loneliness it brings, for me I’ve been wanting to be understood more than anything. I’ve felt very small and impressionable because I hear things like you should do […]
Sleep
See these wrist, See these veins, See this blade, Now watch me bleed! You don’t know how hard it is for me not to cut my wrist again, I’m trying to survive this time, i need to live, but your making it hard for me not to do it. I’m tired of all your lies and bullshit! Your sweet to just get in a girls pants, well just go find your self some whores and you’ll be better off. bc i’m not gunna wait around for you to see that i would be better for you then a whore, but you would like to go […]
6 or 7 Melatonin should help me fall asleep tonight.. maybe a few more..
(Not trying to kill myself)
I often find myself wondering why I’m here. Why do I exist if no one really seems to want me around. I find myself crying myself to sleep and hoping I don’t wake up. I always feel that everyone would be much better off without me anyhow. Less arguing, more money for my family, shit. I bet they would be happier too, since I am the reason that they argue as often as they do. I need a reason to be here.. Because I’ve run out of them.
Well I’m 21 years old and seriously considering taking my life. I have no friends, have never had a relationship or even a chance to prove my worth to a girl. I stand alone day and night living this hell I call my life. I’m so depressed, frustrated and the feeling of hopelessness that washes over me is the worst. I feel as if this is it for me, this is going to be my life until they put me in the ground. The older I grow the more the loneliness and fear of being alone grows and it’s becoming a harsh realization that I […]
Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, […]
You know that feeling when you are losing yourself again, when everything you’ve worked so hard to build up is falling apart? You know you’re slipping but there’s nothing you can do except pray for strength.
I’m 17 and I’ve felt this way far too many times.
I feel lost, like my life has lost all its meaning.
This year, right after summer vacation I was called into the counselors office at school. Last year I had an eating disorder but refused all the help my teachers and counselors tried to give me. She was just checking on me and I excitedly told her how […]
It’s been a rough couple of days… I’m sorry for all who are suffering I fight with this pressure in my head even as I’m trying to put it all behind me… I did manage to find some help… I’m glad i held on long enough… I will be more careful to not drain myself providing for another who is incapable of providing in return… It’s a rough lesson to learn when its family member or a loved one… I need time away from them and now that I’ve had some help I’ll be okay…
9:43pm
Sitting here remaining positive that I won’t allow that to happen […]
I’m stuck here at my dads fiances house for the day to have a Christmas party. It’s just kinda awkward and I have been coming down from smoking earlier this morning. I just want/ need something to do, someone to talk to so I don’t have to sit here awkwardly all day. Really just want to go smoke and come back and eat them go the hell home to watch tv and sleep.
I went out of my house for a change, to hang out with some of my old friends. I rarely do this now since i tend to lock myself in my room, when im not inclined to go to school.
I hung out with 15 of my friends and we watched “end of the world movies” since that was the theme of the party. I was cuddling with my gay friend […]
Long term chronic pain is difficult to live with. I’m 21 and I have been in and out of hospitals (medical and psychiatric) for three years. All three I was in university and should have been able to experience the best side of that life. Instead I was stuck inside. Now my doctors tell me I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. I have to see psychiatrists because I have already had two failed attempts. They say I use sleep as a coping mechanism but it is a lot sweeter in the unconscious than it is to wake up […]
I’m 17 years old, a senior in high school. My grades are flawless, I’m going to college next year on an academic scholarship. I’m going to be a neonatal nurse, to save innocent babies. I’ve never drank, never smoked, I rarely swear, I refuse to do drugs, and I’ve told guys no when they want to sleep with me, all to set a good example for my younger sisters. My teachers love me,”I never fail to brighten their day!” Next month I’m going to be an American Sign Language teacher to elementary students and in March I’m going to be an aunt for the first […]
Hey I was wondering if anyone knew how old youvwould have to be in the uk to buy sleeping tablets? I can’t take the dreams anymore, or the lying awake thinking. I just want to sleep! but over past experience of self harming Boone will buy me any or trust me, so I guess I’m on my own.
So yeah any idea?
The doctors speak a language all their own
Full of words and chemicals unknown
To vacant minds with drugged behinds
So they can fix their wretched soul
It will fix you they say
As though you were broken in some way and your mind could be replaced
With one more common place and less problematic
To them it’s just another day
In the asylum in which they stay
Day after day they prey upon the psyche of lost children and desperate parents.
Their duties to help the needy
To be carried out hastily
By giving them lobotomies
Through a poison masked as a remedy.
I was there, a zombie amongst the horde
The ER having me deferred
To a ward full […]
Hi, my name is Liz. I don’t know how to start talking about my feelings, it seems like they haven’t been around for a while, The thing is, I turned 20 and realised that a whole moment in my life was skipped. Now, everything is basically wake up, go to college, go to work and sleep. It’s like the world no longer exist and I’m a machine. I’ve tried to get into society, to be around other people, but I just didn’t fit. It seems like everything is controlled by a biological rule, you need to have a good appearance so you will have the […]
it just seems to me now at any point in time no matter my expresion or actions it’s in my mind, i cant get rid of it and i dont think i want it to leave me sometimes, but i feel guilty about leaving, i know how i want to do it, i’ve tried before always the same way slitting my wrists i got so close recently but my friend broke down the bathroom stall before i could fully bleed out but I was so close I could feel the refreshing breath on my burning skin. It never mattered that i had friends to hand […]
Okay, well I have friends. I do. I hang out with them sometimes too. but why do i still feel so alone? I call them my bestfriends, which in most cases is true… but at the same time.. they know NOTHING about me. They know the crazy girl.. the one who likes to party, whose had sex, gotten high and gotten drunk.. But the true part of me that matters most.. they dont know exists.. The part of me that cries myself to sleep at night. The part of me that has scars, and cuts. The part of me who almost committed suicide and still […]
I don’t think I am that messed up of a person. But right now all I want is to go to sleep and never wake up. The root of the problem is that I am lonely. You see, all I ever wanted was a wife and children. I know, it sounds lame, but it is true. But that won’t happen. I came close, once, years ago. But two months before our wedding, she broke it off, because “God told her to”. since then, I have tried again, but I’ve never felt a connection to anyone. And I know that as far as problems go, that […]
Sleep, please put me to rest tonight.
Sweet Dreams, carry my mind away.
Pillows, help me relax my thoughts.
Blankets, keep me warm and safe.
Sleep, don’t make me wish I was awake.
Sweet Dreams, please don’t terroriz me.
Pillows, don’t suffocate me in my sleep.
Blankets, please don’t strangle me tonight.
Sleep please be the escape I need… Don’t be a constant reminder of my everyday pain.
Please be the comfort and security I need.
The option is always there. If your religious its thought that God decides when when you go but we have the power also. When your world begins to crumble I front of your eyes ..she come presenting herself as the best option there is. One jump.. Some pills ..some cuts to arteries and your off. To an eternal sleep, no pain, nothing because your dead and oh how I wish I could commit the act but I have tried and failed. Now just one big jump awaits for me but thought of putting my pain onto my family kills me and then app appears again […]