I haven’t slept in two days. My brain won’t let me.
That’s alright though. I guess I’l just wallow in my misery over a bowl of lucky charms.
This website is new to me, I’m not entirely sure how I should be formatting it so I’ll just start typing.
I’m very depressed all of the time, I can’t sleep at night anymore at all. I sleep during the day when I finally crash for most of daylight, it wasn’t always like this but has degraded in the years where my depression became more frequent and overwhelming. I have a laundry list of other personality and mood disorders to go with it, nothing seems to change no matter how hard I’ve strived in the past to overcome. I’ve long since given up, accepted this and […]
Please God…..let me sleep…..let me sleep and just stay that way.
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
I have been waiting at the bus stop of a very long time now, waiting for my bus to come.. the assurance that I CAN get on a bus when ever I want without much Baggage gives me some kind of relief.
This is basically how my day goes. I don’t really get sound sleep during the night, its pretty much disturbed and when ever I wake up in between, during that little time when your sleep gets disturbed and you fall back asleep, I could only think about CTB.
when I wake up in the morning I am pretty sure that today is the day, an […]
Really, what’s so great about this world anyways? All I see are a bunch of people who have too many worries to be bothered with some suicidal girl, and I don’t blame them, I wish I could be one of them but I’m not. I’m just a repulsive, hard to love, self harming, suicidal girl. I’m no one special or anyone that will be truly missed. Can someone come and stab me to death, please? It would be much appreciated.
Last night I try too cry but no tears came out, so I cut my self a little to feel other pain that is not inside me. Some times this pain makes me strong but today is killing me. I just wanna desapeard, I wanna be in the eternal sleep. Im not good or strong. I have a very suicidal mind, I can take anything even a mecanic pencil and use it to harnd me. I dont like ro be touched im scaerd wen some one hugs me even my family. I dont like to be around of people but at the same time I […]
It all started on the 25/08/13,
I had just gotten home from drama eisteddfods, which I had been placing in really well and winning majority, my weekend was going great, I also for once had a boy that was interested in me! I know can you believe it me!. When I got home I started talking to that boy and he was having a hard time with his depression and I was helping him. And then it happened. I logged onto Facebook and I see a post in a secret group that I’m in, (my acting class) and it says that Sam Cannon has […]
i am quiet, this is no new thing but when i am quiet, i think of hurtful things.
mother says she loves me but how should i know it be true? father claims it too but i don’t know how to believe it’s all true.
i am forever alone in this dark head of mine, left to rot and watch this decaying world as everyone pretends it’s all ok.
i hurt myself to protect all of whom i love, if i did not i would hurt them, feel their bones break under foot, watch blood drip from their finger tips and spill onto me, with the glorious shades […]
It isn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I apologize in the case that I actually do. Let’s just face it, I’m not cut out for living. I can’t do things right, I’m useless to my parents, I’m only someone to make fun of, and I’m just hated by a lot of people.
My mom, Kathy, she constantly makes remarks proving just how useless I am. For example, we would walk into the Air Force Academy Clothing Sales store, she would see those stupid “My daughter goes to the Air Force Academy†bumper stickers, and she would make the comment: “I wish I could put that […]
I need to find someone who is like me and can tell me what the fuck is wrong with me.
I have this continuous feeling that I will never be good enough for anyone and that I have an expiry date, a certain amount of time a person can spend with me before they start to hate me.
This is not a once in a while thing, I feel like this all the time.
I cry myself to sleep every night parying to god to fix the thing that’s fucked up about me.
I need someone who has felt the same way as me to […]
I recently moved into my dorm room, and I wasn’t given a roommate who actually planned to move into the room so I’ve got a room to myself. Many people have said that it’s great that I have the room to myself but in complete honesty it sucks. Everyone has someone to hang out with because they have a roommate and here I sit all alone. I don’t know where the girls on the floor went but they aren’t here and my depression is setting in. I miss my friends and I miss my sister and her son and her boy friend, I miss just […]
I’m sitting here at 4 in the morning because I’m in too much emotional pain to sleep. I can’t stand being myself. I care too much for my best friend. I don’t understand it. I think I love her as more than a friend, even though we are the same gender. I have to force myself to support her when she tells me that she wants to be with a guy. I have to sit and pretend she isn’t sleeping with someone else. I have to pretend I don’t love her because it would ruin our friendship. But I love this person so much. I care […]
Where do I start off I have a really low self-esteem, when someone calls me ugly I smile and I try to let it go.but I tell everybody I can that their beautiful cause i don’t want them to know how it feels this way i constantly think of suicide i cut and when i do it i don’t do it very deep just enough to feel the pain i cry myself to sleep and i ask god the same question over and over why am i still here? I go to high school and when i see the pretty girls i collapse i try […]
Im asian and i hope chuck norris will come to my house and kill me brutally. these are just one of my thoughts before i go to sleep, i just hope i could die painlessly without anyone noticing me or causing them trouble like cleaning up my mess after i kill myself. haha anyways where do you think is the best place to commit suicide??
To that little girl, smiling from ear to ear, with no worries on her mind and no demons in her head? Where’s the girl whose smile would light up a room, who laughed like there was no tomorrow, who would spend hours jumping in the rain, where’s the girl who enjoyed life?
What happened to me, what’s wrong with me? Now I am waiting to die, every second of every day just waiting. I’ve been waiting for 4 years now, when will it finally come to an end?
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”-The Breakfast Club.
You were so broken,
Words never spoken:
They haunted you in your sleep
You didn’t speak,
Maybe you could cry the pain away.
Your life was good
He treated you well,
You would always smile,
He could never tell
That you were hurting,
Your soul burning.
You tucked me in,
You kissed my cheek
You sang a lullaby and watched me sleep
He kissed you goodnight,
With a sleepy “I love you”
“See you in the morning”
There were no warnings
When I woke up, I saw daddy cry,
“Everything’s fine,” He choked on his lies
And then I saw you, and lost all hope
Around your neck was a fastened rope
From that day on, it was all broken.
It took all i had to make this. I couldn’t be any more proud. Days are still hard but I’m happy I reached this point.
Is not that i hate life , or that I hate living, not that I want to kill myself.
I mean I’ve thought of it and I’ve tried it, but I just can’t.
There’s something I just can’t take out of my mind, I really don’t understand the meaning of all that. I just don’t know what to do sometimes, I am lost, but not sure why. I mean, I’m good at school, I love my career. I have friends, but to be honest, I don’t share thoughts or feelings about this, ‘how I feel’ with them, not even with my family, not even with […]
I know sometimes we just want to give up and be in the eternal sleep. But we have to keep going. God knows what he is doing. Maybe today was not your day or anyother day but we need to keep going I know its hard somtiemes I want to give up and die I have a very suicide mind I know how to end life with anyobject, I cant be touched by anyone because im scaerd they heat me or do something to me, im verry sencetive, I am realy anxious, and I get insain wen im sad I beging to pull my hair […]