Hi my name is Kim and I am 15. You’re probably going to think I’m just another overly dramatic high school girl. Im not I have been through more shit than people should have to go through by the time they are 15. My dad died when I was 11 but my suffering started earlier in life. My dad drank a lot and when he did he would physically abuse me but when I turned 9 he didn’t drink as often but I’m left with mental scarring and get scared if someone raises a hand near me. He got leukemia when I was 10 and […]
Tag:
Sleeping Pills
As someone who’s survived 3 serious attempts I wish to say that I have no intention of making it through number four. I’ve finally arrived at the conclusion that I’m statistically supposed to be dead by now and it’s not something which makes me feel better. I’ve seen so much pain on my short tour here on Earth. Humanity does little to stoke my optimism, in fact it does the opposite. I’m a vet, I’m mentally unstable, I’m single, I’m unemployed for the fourth year running and I’m almost homeless (I already was for 3 years.) A close friend who I met while being homeless committed suicide via alcohol and prescription […]
Ok this is weird, i ended up here after doing some searching on the net and was just drawn here. I’m old so maybe im out of place here, heart is bad and having more problems, health has really gone down hill alot this year. I have kids that are adults out doing there own thing, they could care less about anything except themselves. I’m just tired, tired of being tired, i want to just take a handful of sleeping pills and jump on the bike and go for a ride and go out of this life doing what i love the most, taking the […]
I started chatting with a man on the internet about 1 1/2 year ago. Long story short, I have lost all of my retirement and had to quit work in order to have access to it. I have lost around $250,000.00 to this man. I have about $50.00 to my name. I am 57 years old and not in good health. My family knows I have been talking to this man; but they don’t know I have given him so much money. I would be too ashamed and embarrassed to tell them. My only out is to commit suicide. I have already written my note.Â
Couldnt control my crying once more..
This time, it got worse, I was trying to run away from hurting myself, so i took some sleeping pills, and slept the day away..
Woke up to another dose of pain and yelling, then took some more.. and slept away..
I slept and slept till i lost the count of days.. It got so bad that I actually tripled the dosage.. I wanted to escape life..
Unfortunately I woke up…
Though I’m living today as a zombie.. I still don’t want to live..
The burden of being selfish to take out my life is hindering me…
But not for long..
I just wonder how can you […]
I haven’t posted for a while,
Not a lot has changed I’ve began to see a psychologist again. But the reasons for that boil down to the decision I made on last weekend.
I couldn’t cope anymore, as my last post states.. I didn’t know if I would attempt again.. But something set me off on Friday.
At first I tried to squash the thought out of my head..
But it kept coming back. It felt just like any other day lately.. Dull, boring and grey. I walked into the pharmacy at the end of my street, placed my script on the bench and nodded at […]
Everyday brings the same crap, everyday I wake up nauseous as hell.
Everyday I think about how I can successfully kill myself. My parents think I
need to be under medication, because I find it hard to express emotions and feelings when I find everything pretty shitty.
Any temporary happiness I have is always clouded with suicidal thoughts.
As each day goes by sleep is something I resent more and more. Truth is I hate sleeping because I hate waking up to another shitty day
in this existence.I live with the innate idea that if I was never born, I would be happier since I would […]
Lately if I fall asleep at all, I’ve had these dreams… In them, I can’t distinguish dreams from reality. It’s getting so scary so I just haven’t been sleeping at all. These dreams… they’re so horrible. I feel as if I’m awake all the way through and it feels like this stuff is really happening. Â and, my sleeping pills haven’t been working. FUCKING CHRIST WHY.
I thought I was better. Until this last month. Everything always crushes you with every pound it has. Everyones fake faces and voices and fake friendships even fake family. I recently started cutting and taking sleeping pills again. Sleep is so much more comforting. Even a nightmare is more peaceful than having to talk to and look anyone in their plastic eyes. I’m back to sleeping 16 hour days and cutting in the shower.
Please listen to my music
Soundcloud.com/virtue_official
I have put all my affairs in order, and written the letters. I have 200 cocodamol a litre of vodka and my sleeping pills. I am sorry that i have to do this but i have no option. My life means nothing anymore, only god can help me now. This is not a cry for help believe me i have had help ut all they do is try and put things in boxes, or its time to let go. I have had enough of all that my soon to be ex will one day realize just how much i loved her, i am not doing […]
i just took a bunch a sleeping pills, wasnt paying attention to how much,doesnt matter anyways, you know that pain, that deep horrible pain that you cant bear anymore?i had to do somthin, i had to take stuff to help me sleep, i want to escape for a little bit,something kept telling me to take more, not a voice but this feeling, like my conciounce keept screaming out(just take one more,)so i did,hope it dont kill me, i have a plan , its to lay on the rail road tracks,well the pills are starting to kick in, i still feel the pain,i feel a little […]
i just cant stand this anymore. every day when i wake up 1st thing on my mind is wish i could blow my brains out. its been like this for about 4 years. future to me seems like lonely, very boring, long and mentally painful and im just 19 years old. nothing i can achieve can make me happy. i know i will live my entire life alone and in this same state of mind as im now. now i have a meeting whit a psygologyst i wish he will give me some drugs i could take whit large amount of other drugs and alcohol […]
i dont think i cant do this anymore,i have to phisically confide my self inside my apartment or i will run, i will leave, and the cops will catch me, the only way people wont be able to control me anymore is if i kill myself,they will never let me off commitment,i will never get to move to california,i cant live like this for the rest of my life,all i think about is california, or getting recommited then taking sleeping pills and laying on the rail road tracks,and no the train driver would never know he hit me cause it would be dark outside,im going […]
its wierd how even though you may not always remember something, your mind never forgets what happened for the rest of your life,i know thats why i wake up at the same time every morning, wen i even can sleep,people tell you to move on and forget about what happened,ok, just let me slam my head against the cement and get amnesia,if its that bad that i can forget time to time but my mind alawys remembers, and noone ever tried to help me through the trama,then those people can eat shit and die,i was woken up around the same time in the morning every […]
My life sucks i’m 22 had already had numerous atempts all failed for no explaineble reason took a box of sleeping pills nothing happend tried to hang my self rope broke (strong dynema 5 mm thick witch is as strong as steel wire of 7 mm thick) broke for no aparent reason
Now i’m feeling like this again.
moved to an other country to be with my girlfriend left everything behind only took my 12 year old dog
he died few weeks ago one moment he was fine the next he’s laying dead in my arms didn’t get over that yet
and now suddenly with no apperant reason my girlfriend […]
Suicide has been very much on my mind for a long time. For as long as I remember, the thought of putting an end to my life would come up whenever I experienced pain, confusion, unhappiness. Pouf! Jump off the window and put an end to all that! That urge to jump into the air remains with me. I do consider other ways of killing myself from time to time, sleeping pills, hanging…hanging particularly appeals to me despite the gruesome sight of someone hanging from a rope. I don’t think I will act on those feelings. I have a child for whom I am responsible. […]
My name is rebecca taylor i am 16 and a sophmore in high school. I have put up with alot of things that most people dont know about me. so where should i begin? well i shall start where my whole life started falling apart. I was four years old at the time i was first raped! i remember this event to well i was asleep when a frind of the family came in my room and started touching me when i tried to scream he punched me in the head and knocked me unconcious. he continued to rape me untill i was seven. at […]
This is the first time I am putting this in writing much less saying it to anyone. I have been suicidal ever since I can remember. I first tried to commit suicide when I was in grade 5, I think that would make me 11. I had heard in news about a guy who wanted to commit suicide by over-dosing but ended up killing his niece and nephew when they consumed the desert he had made for himself with plenty of sleeping pills. I was young then so I didn’t know just how much “plenty” meant. I asked my maid-servant (I am from Asia and it’s normal […]
I just slept for a long time, but all I can say is that right now I feel exhausted.
I’m tired of everything in my life at the moment.
I’m tired of the endless monotony of school and exams. I have a countdown to summer in my Planner, but knowing I still have 95 days does not do a lot to comfort me.
I’m tired of people, and the person I’m expected to be.
I’m tired of myself, and the person I’m too afraid to be.
I’m tired of the fact that everywhere I’m just not good enough anymore.
I can’t do anything properly and just fuck it all up when […]
So i spent yesterday and moat of today in the hospital for an attempt at suicide i tried to overdose on sleeping pills that were prescribed to me. And now i failed again and feel like complete shit and a complete failure.