Tag:

smoke

Everything Seems so Meaningless

by nizzerd 8/13/2014

written by nizzerd

I finished school, got my degree, married my long time partner, moved 1000 miles away and got a salaried job.

None of this means anything to me. I can’t enjoy any of my accomplishments. I’m not happy with my marriage and this job is only busy work. I can’t remember a time that I felt truly satisfied with life. I drink my weight in alcohol, smoke packs of cigarettes, buy worthless crap off the internet…I feel like there’s nothing I can do, like there’s no such thing as content. I am wasting my time.

We fight often, my husband and I. I feel a heavy sinking feeling […]

8/13/2014 1 comment

by why i dont no 8/8/2014

written by why i dont no

down long rodes we ride

no light insite no end near

scars on my arm like wrighting read only by me

i know evry line ever virse

i know the name of ech of the people who put them there

im a cobweb the strans are cut in to my flesh

i cach no flys just pane and greef

my head is a monster ready to rip my heart out

it sends me screeming in to the nigh

“that girls not really there”

the girl at the end of my bed isunt there

the blood on the floor isunt there

im a child […]

8/8/2014 0 comment

Yesterday…

by Solarion 8/8/2014

written by Solarion

Yesterday my mom, brother, aunt, and I had a barbeque. I was washing a pan that my mom was going to put food on and asked my brother to hold some of the dishes because there was no space on the counter. He then asked me if I could do anything right. I told him to finish washing the pan (my aunt watched this and got mad at ME) and stormed outside to sit next to the barbeque. I told my mom about it and she pretended like nothing happened. I told my mom that smoke got in my eyes to cover my tears. I’m […]

8/8/2014 5 comments

A New Drowning!!!

by RealTalk30 7/8/2014

written by RealTalk30

There is no point in floating away from this. I want to drown in this feeling. Swirling and turning my whole world upside down and throughout the insides of my soul. To the depths of this ever so sweet suffocating embrace.
Far off from the dust of the earth surface, where kings have failed but still fall back in place.
Down in my luck, to the tide sweeping love beneath my feet. Low in behold, below fire and smoke. Bringing this all to a close…
Too cold to move on
And too sweet to hold!

Keep me drowning….please? I beg for it if you’d be […]

7/8/2014 6 comments

Wish i could bring myself to do it

by Doesnt_Matter 7/8/2014

written by Doesnt_Matter

for years now i’ve been a zombie with one though on my mind

one cold endearing constant thought through the good times and the bad it remains lingering in my mind like the stale smell of smoke in the room around me.

everyday i wake up i wish that i hadn’t and when i go back to sleep i wish never to wake again

a useless ****** like me doesn’t deserve to live anyways i just wish it were easier to do

i know i can get help and i know that things can get better with effort but i also don’t care i dont want things to get […]

7/8/2014 5 comments

Good way to go

by NoNameNeeded 7/7/2014

written by NoNameNeeded

I’m ready. But I’m not in a rush. It’ll probably be soon, though.

I’ll buy a pack of cigarettes that day. I’ll smoke a few and drink some old bourbon when I get home and set up what I need to. Just like the good old days. When I start to get sleepy, that’s when I can go.

No guilt. No stress. No second thoughts. My way. My terms. My comfort.

7/7/2014 11 comments

independence cuts

by abandon16 7/4/2014

written by abandon16

Id just cut both of my arms they burn its hot theres blood its burning the only reason i did it was becuz of him….he has a party hosted n there girlz who dnt respect a relationship, im scared to Kno what is going on….im crying scared worried paranoid, uploads pics of him n money lik no tht not CUTE n then of bottles n bottles of liquor, it just worries me n i wanna let him kno but then i dnt wanna ruin his night. He pinky promise he wasnt ginna drink o smoke n i hope it stays lik tht

7/4/2014 1 comment

Recovery…

by RealTalk30 7/4/2014

written by RealTalk30

All this fucking shit that has happened to me has played serious hell on my health. My work is extremely exhausting and I’ve been spilling more tears than I’ve been able to drink water. I’m about two metaphorical steps away from an actual emergency room visit. Some of you already understand how bad it is.
But the point is that the choice to recover is eminent! I can’t let myself sink so far off that it takes my life. I’m not done with it, there is still so much to do and see.
I’ve got 3 days off of work.. So I’m getting desperate for […]

7/4/2014 15 comments

“I killed Dr. Seuss”

by XxHelloKittyxX 6/17/2014

written by XxHelloKittyxX

You know of the Cat in the Hat?
I killed him with a baseball bat,
Now he’s buried in Erolave,
Where I danced a jig on his grave!

After I stole away Thing Two,
And dyed its hair bright pink, not blue,
Thing One looked on starting to cry,
The bottle was dry: No more dye!

The trees are gone, last seed rotted
Years have passed-nothings been spotted,
I burnt the trees to watch the smoke,
Guess the Lorax can’t take a joke?

As for Christmas I stole it first,
The Grinch so mad about to burst,
Still I couldn’t give Christmas back,
So I stuffed the Grinch […]

6/17/2014 3 comments

Why bother to go on?

by Frozeninlife 6/14/2014

written by Frozeninlife

I am 36..had a pretty rough life.. Not as bad as some, but still pretty rough.. I was sexually abused from about the age of 4 or 5 until I was about 11 by 2 family members..my grandfather and my uncle.. I started smoking pot at around 8 or 9, started drinking when I was I think 10.. Snuck out of my house and. Partied every weekend and would even sneak my parents liquer to school in sports bottles.. once I realized that I can escape this reality I did whatever I could and did it to the max.. I then started lsd and cocaine […]

6/14/2014 3 comments

I have had enough…. my life is done

by annieR 5/21/2014

written by annieR

I have had enough. I am sick of picking upÂ the mess of my son – time after time after time.. getting him out of debt, saving him and he is 26. I have just picked him up out of a drug induced psychotic episode and now he is throwing tantrums about not being allowed to smoke weed…… I have had enough. I want to live my life quietly and all the time he continues to snipe…….. tomorrow i will buy the razor.. I never thought I would but he has destroyed any hope of a life for me. I have none………….. and I actually do […]

5/21/2014 2 comments

So tired

by Howsoon 5/17/2014

written by Howsoon

I’m struggling. My brain is in fog. I feel like I’m grasping to get a hold of my thoughts but they slip through my fingers like smoke. I can’t focus, I can’t think, I can’t concentrate. I’m meant to be writing for a big project, but just can’t get a hold. I know that it is in my head somewhere but it may as well be covered in lard for all I can get a grip on it. I know I can be so much better than this but it is all so exhausting, I am tired and I am lost like this. I just […]

5/17/2014 1 comment

Every Fifteen Minutes…

by Miss Blythe 4/3/2014

written by Miss Blythe

So, tomorrow I will be away from technology for 24 hours, because I’m involved in the Every 15 Minutes project.

“The Every 15 Minutes Program offers real-life experience without the real-life risks. This emotionally charged program, entitled Every 15 Minutes, is an event designed to dramatically instill teenagers with the potentially dangerous consequences of drinking alcohol and texting while driving. This powerful program will challenge students to think about drinking, texting while driving, personal safety, and the responsibility of making mature decisions when lives are involved.” (-The Website)

I couldn’t tell very many people, because nobody at school can know it’s happening, so I had to tell […]

4/3/2014 0 comment

I Smoke Weed…

by MoreThanMyThoughts 3/20/2014

written by MoreThanMyThoughts

… and it really helps with my depression.

I’m a 28-year-old living in Las Vegas. I was first “diagnosed” as clinically depressed when I was 12 years old; but I feel like I’ve been sad most of my life.

Up until recently, my life was completely shut down by my depression – I never got dressed, left my room, ate… there was some self-harm… I was consumed with thought of suicide and self-mutilation, but I managed not to act…

I entered out-patient treatment 3 months ago. On anti-depressants which seem to be helping… but, the real life-style change I’ve made is smoking weed from sun-up till bed time.

I’ve […]

3/20/2014 12 comments

“more equal than others” G.O

by freedomseeker 3/17/2014

written by freedomseeker

I made a mistake today. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Today was just another one, an additional one. I had been getting closer and closer, further and further, and I reached it. Not entirely though, it was the beginning of the end. I stopped at the beginning. It would make Him unhappy, completely torn and deeply upset. I love Him. I do. But, sometimes I get frustated in my life. My whole life is filled with frustration, 2/3 of it.
I work, and work. Oh, and wait ! … I work. I go to the university, I go to work, I have to go […]

3/17/2014 14 comments

so done.

by deadlynights 2/24/2014

written by deadlynights

so..i’ve really fucked up my life. i’m only 14 years old and what can i say about my life? I’m a teenage girl who smokes cigarettes and gets high with her friends almost every day. i self harm (which i started again today :/) and my friends dont even really like me unless they can smoke at my house.

i’m literally so far gone. i just don’t even know what to do anymore.

you know how they say life is a highway? mine’s a dead end. and i’m ready to give up.

right now, it’s late where i am, but i dont sleep anymore. my sleep is filled […]

2/24/2014 11 comments

valentines day and druggggs â™¥

by interstella_ 2/13/2014

written by interstella_

So tomorrow I’m going to a friend of mine’s house to have a sort of anti-valentine’s day party. Not really a party, just some mutual friends, some food, and some weed. The thing is, my mother decided to tell me she’s going to drug test me the day after. I’m at the point where I don’t really care if she catches me. I’m at a really low point, even though I’m young. I want to smoke and forget about all of my stresses. I’m not the type of person to do crazy drugs like acid or cocaine. I don’t like any of that stuff. I […]

2/13/2014 5 comments

Death row

by Saint Thomas 1/30/2014

written by Saint Thomas

Trust is a powerful word and most don’t even realize it but i learned through to many experiences that no one in this world can be 100% trusted. I trusted a group of people from a small town i used to live in and look where that got me…it ended up with me getting bullied day in and day out i trusted every girlfriend i have ever had and look ive been cheated on and used or the bullshit brake up lines like ” its not you its me ” and always over text or by Facebook. I know that their are other people in […]

1/30/2014 0 comment

Pills,glory pills

by onebullet 1/28/2014

written by onebullet

I have been taken this anxiety pills that my psychiatrist has give me and they are incredible strong,when i take them my muscles just chills like if they where smoking weed,i feel like in a cloud and i am so relaxed my deppression gets weakest,sometimes i take more than my psy told mecalled it medication abuse,yes who cares.someres i mixed with a bunch of alcohol and its glorious,and sometimes not much but sometimes i brake the pills into my joints and smoke them,directly to the brain,that is just another dimension.

1/28/2014 0 comment

Addiction

by WiltedRose 1/22/2014

written by WiltedRose

Most days, I don’t think I’m addicted to cutting. I can get by without it, but then sometimes, I can’t breathe or think until I let the blood flow. Does anyone else feel like that? We don’t have enough alcohol in our house for me to have an addiction (my mom only drinks wine) but I never want to hang out with my friends unless we can drink or smoke.

1/22/2014 3 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts