im a female, will be 17 in august, maybe. My family just got a hold of some pictures of me smoking weed and that sparked them to search my room and found soooo much weed and bongs and bowls and lighters and stuff. They are furious and ashamed and they just found out all this other stuff about me to that you wouldnt want your parents to know. I know it doesnt sound like a big deal but my parents HATE me now. my parents arent speaking to each other, they are probably going to get divorced because they are blaming each other for my […]
It’s been a year and I was better. I’m happy with the person I’m with.. Sooo happy… But my “mom” has now physically abused me multiple times. She is like an infected wound that just won’t heal, and won’t get better, only worse. I feel like smoking weed and drinking till I pass out, and I’ve never smoked, drunk, anything… Just goes to show that just because you’re blood related doesn’t mean you have to call them family…. F*ck me…
continuing from Story of my life.. part 2
It was Christmas eve, everything was great. Until Nick came up to me and told me he couldn’t be with me any longer. He told me he had fallen out of love. That was it. He walked away. I didn’t know what to do. At first I was doubting it even happened. It was probably another daydream of some sort. But it was true. He left me standing in a hallway, never looked back. I was told to just move on. Time will heal. In a few weeks you’ll be just fine. There’s lots of fish in the […]
“This might be the heartache that don’t stop hurting, it just keeps working on me, it just keeps pickin’ on me.”
I’ve tried almost everything to make it go away. Smoking, drinking, sex, and shredding my wrists.. The most helpful thing has been cutting. Seeing the blood drip and roll down my body. It’s almost like I’m draining my body of the hurt. If I just bleed enough it’ll eventually go away forever.. at least that’s what I’m hoping. I’m at a dead end and I don’t know what else to do.. tell somebody? or keep shredding my body until I’m all gone? I’m running out […]
Its been a year since I last posted on this announcing my final day on this god forsaken earth. But as you can see it didn’t go quiet as to plan. I took a large dosage of mixed pills, slit my wrists in a cold bath and awaiting my end, only to wake up a few days later in hospital.
That was a year and 2 days ago now. Surely I should have overcome all of it, but the same problems have snuck up to me and more. When I wrote on this first I was nothing but a teenage wreck, living in the bit of […]
my frends had prom today its all over facebook… i didunt go… i dont even have a girlfrend to hug or a frend… im the sad lonly kid who knw one whants to help cos it will bring them down… crying my eys out chane smoking… this is something i will regret for the rest of my life i startid to cut agen… my dad says im nothing and you may be reading this now thinking “but im your frend” well thank you for that but idk when your siting in your room smoking with asleep playing havent been out for days no money stragly […]
one shot one rope one fall
the things that end us all
look out of the door in to the night
pull the triger blow out whats left
knock out the cher tern off the light
take the step let the wind take you
bight the pill brake the cap
tern on the gas light the fag
drive the car off the clife
not comeing back
fuck you all
all the day no whos calld
the reper by his rele name
and see whos the one to frame
so smoke the weed bern the casel
drink till you drop
this ant pritey cos life shure ant
no whos been droping the candel
lifes like light going out
the smoking emders that you find
blowing away in […]
My best friend wrote this, while we were bullshitting, smoking a cig.
All she is,
is a midnight cigarette;
slowly burning,
like a heart attack.
Burning out,
on the flesh of her wrist,
leaving marks,
never to be kissed.
Her midnight smoke is burning,
and she choke.
Up the memories of somone long forgotton,
someone lost in her own thoughts.
I promised I wouldn’t do ‘crazy shit’ to my psychiatrist, but I just can’t hold it anymore. I don’t live my life for me, I live it for them.
But fact is; they don’t care if I’m here, there or gone. My councilor at school is totally lost with me, he doenst know what to do with me, the kids at school ( yeah, they’re kids. freaking childish barbiedolls. I’m turning 19 in less then a month and my class is full with 16 y/o barbies :l ) don’t see me. I will give my parents, my family, my friends rest. My parents will have so […]
The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell, awakening the pits of my hell.
 Pinned against the wall, being six a little small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, screaming, but i was never found.
 Day and night, always full of fright kissing, sucking, nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping and always pleading.
Was I that bad […]
I’m 16 and currently go to high school. My mother tends to nag on me and yell at me a lot since I enjoy spending my free time playing games. She does not enjoy the way I spend my time and calls me the word “addicted” when I do play. She has a boyfriend that I don’t like…because he moves my possessions without notifying me. And when I questioned him about it today he clearly told me he will respect it only for my mothers sake…I mean why can’t he just apologize to me and say he’s sorry? Now for the issue at school…. I […]
Im just so fucking scared that I will fail. I dont want to fail. And since I’m one of the worlds biggest failures there’s a big possibility that I will.
Fuck everything, I don’t matter? Im nothing. Every night after I get home from school is cry, all night. I try to be happy then I just over think everything and it makes me angry. The only time I’m ever happy is when I’m either smoking or drinking. I’m young and I’ve already fucked up my life. Why don’t I just die now? I have nothin in my life, my mom and dad are divorced and they both hate me, I never can fucking do anything right. I try and get good grades but I can’t, I just can’t. I try I try so hard […]
-stop smoking
-lose weight
-work on self esteem
-work on social anxiety
-stop cutting
anyone else?