I started cutting a couple of months ago & I really think I don’t matter on this world. But if I try to commit suicide & I fail WHAT WOULD HAPPEN? I’m scared of fail.. In the other hand I think I need help. So, I don’t know what to do.
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Several weeks ago in a reputable British publication, Lana Del Rey was quoted as saying “I wish I was dead already. . . I don’t want to have to keep doing this. But I am.”
Lana’s remarks, whether taken out of context or not, led to a massive backlash. People love her, or love to hate her. And then of course there are some who don’t know who she is and don’t give a fuck what she does or doesn’t say.
There’s people who put her down and dismiss her as a ‘faker.’ But who are they to decide what is real and is not?
My sister-in-law says […]
I’m 19 years old and I thought that I could change. My entire life has seemed to be nothing but struggle. For years I waited for God to save me and my family, but he didn’t. I’ve seen many things and done many things I wish I didn’t have to. I’ve stopped my mom from drowning herself in the bathtub, I stopped my dad from hitting my mom when they got into a heated discussion; on numerous occasions I’ve stopped my dad from hitting my brother and my mom from choking him because he wouldn’t be quiet. I’ve watched my dad beg for food and […]
The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. – Mother Theresa
written by Remnant The Unbroken
You seemed so full of sweetness at the start
But like a big red rose that’s made of paper
There isn’t any sweetness in your heart
Paper Roses
Paper Roses
Hi, i guess i just need to vent. I am so tired of fightin urges to destroy myself. Will be 4 8soon. Have been fighting this my whole life. I come from a family of major abuse, riddled with mental illnesss – schizophrenia, borderline personality, addiction. I have complex PTSD that never got ack.owledged – I just got meds which didn`t work and ruined my health. Had my brain shocked. I’m disabled now and completely isolated. My friends got tired of me being depressed a.d I got tired of them telling me, “Hang in there, it will get better.
Last week a neighbor left me a […]
I was born into a family that had an over-bearing, over abusive dickwad for a “father”. He would beat the crap out of my for not having all A+’s simply because those were his grades in school. Seriously. My mother would just stand there and let me beat me, scream at me, tell me how im worthless and nobody will ever love me. Yeah, she would just stand there. She said she never did anything is because she “cant afford to support us without his paycheck”. Yeah. And he never hit my sisters, maybe once or twice their whole life.
School wasn’t any better. I was […]
Everywhere I go people have something horrible to say about me, whether it’s that I’m an idiot / retard / moron / ugly or disgusting… they just never have anything positive to say and lack the empathy or sympathy to understand how much it hurts. I have no chance of survival because is no way for me to escape emotional pain. Some people would laugh at me behind my back or right in my face and say things like “he’s the ugliest person I’ve ever seen” or “he’s a worthless piece of shit” and some things that people have said have really stuck with me […]
I mean, mother of God, this helpless feeling has not gone away all week, and just keeps getting worse.
So, let’s blast some motherfucking epic music. Kill all those fucking demons.
It’s not the first time
My family has caused these thoughts
The thoughts of jumping
They wouldn’t care
They don’t care
They never did
They never will
They’ll never love
They’ll never care
Regardless of what people say
My family doesn’t love me
They glare at me
Wish I was better
I’m not good enough for them
I have the wrong taste in music
Disgusting fashion style
The way I think is awful
All they ever wanted was a perfect daughter
They got my sister
But then the mistake came
Me
And now they can’t live with me
So they hurt me
Glare at me
I started talking to this boy named Michael since I was in 7th grade & he was in 9th.. All was good we went talking off & on, he was so in love with me but we had never officially met in person so I was kind of iffy & kinda pushed him away.. Years pasted by & once I started high school he was a junior of course & me & him started to get close again.. But the times we hadn’t talked he had got a girlfriend & they had been together for 9 months.. & I was sure he was in love […]
What would you do to change your life?
What would you sacrifice?
A brother, a lover, a friend, or a mother?
What would you give to save your life?
What would you change to save your life?
What would you say at the end of time?
Another, no other, to cover or reveal?
This was to change my life.
I’m looking out on the sea
The sea of destiny
And wherever the wind takes me
I’ll be dancing free
So now I’m done
My life goes on
Will it be the same?
Will I miss you?
And is this true?
Can my life change?
Hello….
It’s been a little while
Since I’ve last asked myself
The question
How am I?
Well how am I?
I’m doing okay.
I’m not good
But I’m not bad
A few days ago
I got to talk about
My life
To someone that cared
And listened
They asked me
“How is your life?”
And I, of course, replied with
“No, how are you?”
But what surprised me
Is then they said
“That’s not the point of the question,”
I’ve been busying myself more
If I’m bored I’ll watch YouTube videos
Or I’ll do a mini project
Like today I rearranged my room
It took a while
Maybe […]
I’m struggling. My brain is in fog. I feel like I’m grasping to get a hold of my thoughts but they slip through my fingers like smoke. I can’t focus, I can’t think, I can’t concentrate. I’m meant to be writing for a big project, but just can’t get a hold. I know that it is in my head somewhere but it may as well be covered in lard for all I can get a grip on it. I know I can be so much better than this but it is all so exhausting, I am tired and I am lost like this. I just […]
technically not dead, visited the site a few times, saw some people wondering… resisted the urge to reply, until now.
SP events happened to coincide with an opportunity for some KB (note: this is what my age group calls good weed; it’s short for “kind bud,” which indicates that it’s not “just schwag” or “brick weed,” but is instead, properly grown and almost always seedless); after almost 2 years of abstaining, for what had become apparently irrelevant motivations, i reached my breaking point, and really wanted some. The sample i received, turned out to be… well, i can’t say it was “the best ever,” but it […]
Hello. My name is Shawn, and I’m going to inform you all about my life from within my head. I think my life was fairly normal except for my mental state and the fact that I lived in complete filth for most of my life. My house was ankle high with trash and nobody cleaned it. Laundry was rarely done so I was a generally gross kid. I remember however I was fairly smart. At school I knew everybody and was the school clown. It was fun having people laugh at me when I would do something stupid even if they didn’t really respect me.
On […]
Oh its been so long
So very very long
Since the last time
I talked to you
About everything thats going on
I know I’ve been vague
I’ve been mysterious
But I have to keep things
Feelings thoughts etc
From you
So you don’t worry about me
But maybe it’s time
Time to tell you how I am.
How am I?
Physically?
Sore.
I feel broken.
I’ve got a few scars.
Yeah from that.
I don’t know how to cope.
I thought I could manage
I guess not.
How am I?
Mentally?
Terrible.
Awful.
Horrible.
Every day criticism.
Yelling.
Slapping.
One of my lights went […]
Home for a 3-day weekend. Last time it was a week and I was left entertaining and flirting with the concept of death. Anything, really, to keep from having to take part in the shameful charade any longer. You come home. We sit in front of the TV, we ignore and tune each other out as we stare listlessly at the screen for hours on end.
Is that all that life has become for you? Don’t you want to talk about anything of substance, anything at all? Why can’t you just be civil for once? Why is every word out of your mouth an insult, a […]
Hi, I am new to this website. I don’t really know what I am doing on here. So, yeah.
At school I could always be myself
And I could do that without being hated
Without being critiqued
And just accepted into the group of my friends
Unlike my world at my house
At my house I got criticized
I got yelled at for the slightest mistakes
I got hit even though I did nothing wrong
Maybe living here is why they hit me
Anyway I had a world where I could just be me
And not get hated, or hit, or criticized
I wouldn’t have to worry about making mistakes
Because my friends would always forgive me
But now that has drastically changed
One […]
No matter how good I feel, no matter where I go or what I do, I always know that it’s coming. I’m scared to fall in love, I’m scared to make friends, I’m scared to have children. Because those things are all I’ve ever wanted, but I’m terrified that I’ll get them and then leave them. What kind of mother leaves her children on purpose? But I KNOW in my heart that having children won’t ever fix this. That as much as I may love them, I simply cannot stay. And I am SO sorry.