No acrimony for an ex-girlfriend, parents or society. Just myself. I can’t stand myself. I look in the mirror and see a man ugly inside-out. My birth was an act of turpitude. My reptilian brain only keeps me from ridding myself of myself, from turning my brains into a Jackson Pollock on my bedroom wall.
Tag:
society
I must pick up the pieces
And Put them together
Make sure all the cracks are concealed
So they stay out of sight
The audience must be pleased
Even if I’m not at ease
What’s the difference with someone saying and being suicidal to someone who just says what the fuck I want to not endure no more pain and just does it. Like thank fuck I can vent because I’m soo suicidal. I’m in the not care stage can’t see any way out and time will just make me worse and worse and worse until I can’t cry become emotionless and not feel or care for anything. Fuck society just fuck society. When I had a psychotic break I swore at a police officer well actually i called him a pedofile but i was mentally deranged out of […]
Hello. My name is Amber and I am 19 years young. This is my story.
I lay here awake. Awake at all hours of the day and night. I have no responsibilities, no job, no school. Sounds ideal right? But nothing close. I feel like an empty human figure, wasting away within my four room walls. Curtains hanging over the windows allowing minimum light to catch my skin.
I have no friends. I have little family. The family that I do have like my grama, my aunt, and sister would all be devastated. I can’t speak for my mother or father though. My parents divorced when […]
I have no one to talk to. I do not expect those that are in my life to understand. I have seen them feign seconds of interest only to direct conversation to themselves. Besides, my feelings and thoughts would only raise false concern and patronizing remarks – if history has shown me anything. Over the years I have learned to bury my emotions inside and isolate myself.
Lately, pretending has been hard. I am sure my smiles seem forced. I have lost all mental fortitude and I can longer stay composed. I want to be alone. I do not want to die. I only wish to not […]
I hate how if you don’t go to college, society deems you an “idiot” or a “failure” in life. I tried college, but it just hasn’t worked for me. It’s too fucking depressing. Everyone that I knew in high school seems to be in college, all giddy with their friends and entertaining lives. I have nowhere to go but into the limited career world that I’ve been bred into, and I’m not expecting much. I can’t do anything for long, because I become bored and just want to sleep and never wake up. Therapy is going pretty poorly. My last meeting with my therapist was […]
To enable the act of someone taking their own life…is simply the most beautyful act a person can have…it is something truly personal….and I would myself die…just to enable this right to all people…
Truly….
If this society is to go further into the modern age…it most have such qualities…as the right to take ones own life…
If this right is not come to a society that claims to be modern…then it is simply not truly a high nor evolved nor modern society…..
It is a society stuck in the old superstitious ages…where one belives in punishment for such…that truly is the worst crime ever….
Truly….
A FREE SOCIETY ALLOWS SUICIDE…AND […]
Why are we always remembered for our mistakes? It’s like you do one bad thing and it sticks with you forever. I made a huge mistake and I regret it. I’m so scared that everyone is going to find out what it is. It’s bad enough that it made the papers. I don’t want to go to school because I feel like everyone already knows and they are talking about it. Like why can’t they just ignore my stupid mistake and think of the good things I’ve attempted. But wait society doesn’t work that way.
Hey there. So, I’m back again on this website, for the third time. Three major bouts of suicidal thoughts and depression. But that’s besides the point. Earlier this year, I began my freshman year of high school, and with it, the best years of my life, as I have been told so many times. Unfortunately, that promise is not living up to expectations. I was placed into a college preparation program by my middle school teachers, though I decided not to sign up for it last year because I didn’t want to have too much on my plate. Additionally, at the start of the year, […]
So, it seems like if one wants to lay it all out there this is the place.
Ok, I hate life. I don’t enjoy things like most people seem to. I am a SWM, 42, and I can’t dance because I feel like a fool, and really feeling like a fool is essentially my basic state of mind most of the time. I also have trouble eating, which has a very long childhood story to it. I have a very hard time trying new foods, cant just eat it anyway to be polite, and often cant even eat foods I normally like if they are prepared […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
I feel emotionally disconected. There is no reason for me to feel depressed or sad, because I don’t have what anyone would consider a bad life. I feel disgusting, because other people have real reasons to be sad and depressed, yet here I am. There is nothing special about me. There is no reason for anyone to extend an effort to help me out because I don’t feel like I contribute to society in the slightest. The only reason why I feel any guilt is that I do not want my few friends and my small family to feel like they failed. No one failed […]
Hello. I’m Bella. I’m 15 years old and I know what it’s like to go through depression. I want to help people that went through it too. Mine was from loosing my best friend on Easter night and then having his funeral on my birthday. I didn’t get to talk to him that day because I was busy with my family, but I have now made everyone with depression or problems a priority. I was in therapy for my depression because I talked with my mother about it. I was mute for almost FOUR whole months. Now I try to look at the […]
I think about suicide every day, but generally not too seriously. I wonder if I’ll be happy in a year or so from now. Life is a random set of coincidences that ultimately has no inherent importance. Being a member of this “life” game is boring. People keep telling me that it’s fun. What exactly is fun about working, coming home, eating, fucking, sleeping, and dying? Relationships are pathetic. They all lead to divorce and disappointment. Work is just a pretty word for “slavery.” Houses are just like cozy prison cells. We’re stuck on this stupid rock, only to die here… so I guess humanity […]
I love pens. I love finding them on the ground or on a desk and taking them for myself. I don’t know what it is about having a lot of pens that makes me feel good. I just bought 108 pens on Amazon just now for pretty cheap. I feel guilty, though, because I am from a very poor family that never had the money to buy pens or pencils for school. We’d have a few that we used, the rest were my dad’s pens which we couldn’t use since he wanted to keep them for himself. Maybe I get it from my dad. I […]
Life is hard.
Nobody is looking out for your best interests.
Everyone wants to see you fail.
They want you to kill yourself.
They want you to be at your absolute worst.
The closer they have to be to you, the more malicious the intent.
Good Luck.
Without it you will fail.
I believe as long as people (1) are not in debt OR have completed a filing for bankruptcy, AND (2) they’ve made arrangements for any dependants to be properly cared for after they’re gone, they should be allowed access to safe and painless (or as near-to-painless-as-possible) options for committing suicide. Yes, I’m completely serious. The reason I think so is not just because I think we all should have a right to end our own lives, but because if things were arranged that way on a *societal* level then I feel people would be more supportive of those around them. Sure you could still gaslight/invalidate […]
Do what your supposed to do all day long; job, education or whatever else. You do it because society wants you to do it. There’s no true freedom if you’re told from the first second you’re on this earth that your life is already planned out ahead of you and you only have to live through it and then die.
Freedom means creativity, means purpose in doing something. A true act of freedom is drawing a sunflower on the back of the essay you’re working on, is wearing a pink hoodie to your bank appointment, is going to sleep without setting the alarm, is saying hi […]
Some people say that the reason I suffer from depression is because I suffer from an inability to see myself for who I really am. In some ways, I think they’re right; I do have a tendency to not see myself clearly. Although, to be honest with you, in some ways they are absolutely wrong. I started out life with a bright hope. Unfortunately though, early on in my life, I was hurt very badly by parents who made a willing and conscious choice to love themselves more than they loved me. This has permanently scarred me. I have walked through the last 17-odd years of […]