Hey it’s me one of the many unknown here.I just…don’t have the power to speak to someone so i guess i will just you know write it here i guess somebody will see it.So i don’t know where to start but i aint gonna make this long i just don’t feel like it.I am here as always alone in my room after a couple of drinks just like always i burns on the inside i guess getting drunk is the only thing that helps me sleep.I’m just laying here alone i have nobody is the same day everyday i just think i’ll quit.I don’t think […]
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Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I only hurt people that are close to me. All my girlfriend wants to do is help and I’m so afraid of losing her, but all I do is push her away. I punch holes in the wall, hurt myself (never her!), and cry all the time. I actually can’t even remember a day where I didn’t break down and cry. I feel like my life is meaningless and I always question people’s reasoning for even being around me. If I had the choice, I’d leave myself and never come back. I’m just a worthless […]
I got in trouble at school because i thought someone was my friend but they turned there back on me and said i did things that i never meant to do i can’t ever seem to get anything right like i look around and everyone seems to be doing good and i’m hoping and wishing that i could have their secret, that one day i could be happy with who i am,and what i am i wish i could be happy with myself
This is a link to an episode of The Fifth Estate documenting the story of Nadia Kajouji, who was encouraged to commit suicide by a man posing as a female nurse online in 2008. This was quite a landmark legal case, as it brought to light the culpability of those who attempt to persuade others to take their lives over the Internet. As a true crime enthusiast and (obviously) someone who considers suicide and depression to be a major part of their life, I have found this to be one of the most fascinating cases I’ve seen in some time.
If you aren’t into true crime documentaries, this may not […]
It’s a myriad of words stuck in my mind, none of them feeling appropriate for the situation at hand. I’ve memorized them over and over again, like some monologue that I’m trying to get perfect for when you’re in front of me.
Pacing in the pale dawn of the day, I find myself easily sucking down six cigarettes in the span of two hours. In between puffs and sips from a mug of coffee that gets colder, I try to imagine your reaction. Disappointment? Abandonment of one other soul in your life? God knows–you’ve had enough of that.
“. . .I try never to say goodbye, but […]
I had been working at a local restaurant busting tables for the past 2-3 yrs…. Well the other night, one of my managers, we’ll call her Angela, was handing out tips (personal tips– you’ve got personal tips which are yours and then the tips on the table are supposed to be rationed out at the end of the night)… Well right as I got done busting this table, she gives me my personal tip from last week. Being on disability I only work 2 nights a week.
Well right as I got back to the dish pit, I hear someone mentioning that supposedly $20 was missing […]
Capture that. I’m in english class at the back. Everybody is writing exept me. I’m staring at this blank page since 1 hour. I look at it and read the question that the text is supposed to answer: “what is happiness?” Do anyone really know? I mean i don’t know if i’m happy or anything so what is the real meaning of that word that everybody seem to know but me?
The teacher finally says that the class is over but, when i give back my paper, she stands up and says as loud as she can to all the class “look how idiot you have […]
no one knows what’s in my mind. no one even knows the real version of the story. everyday, I’m still thinking about the night that killed me. i’m dead but still bleeding? isn’t that strange? everyday, i live in the hell of being stuck with that fucked up mind in a world that i don’t even want to live in. i’mstanding close to the edge wishing someone could finally push me. i’m afraid. still, i don’t want help. i just want to be free…
Do you ever read a post on here and wonder if it’s from someone you know in your everyday life? The idea is weirdly comforting to me.
I’m not technically suicidal. I just wish I were dead. The relief. Or someone else who is normal. I am bipolar and I cannot be genuine in relationships. I cannot date. I keep myself to myself on my personal time. My best friends are all those I had as a young child. I was always funny (what fucked up person isn’t the funniest?) At work I am the funny hard worker. You’ll never see me bring depression or sadness into the workplace. No one would have a clue I’m drowning in my own ego. My friends don’t know anything. One actually complimented me just last […]
To all of you who complained about the picture on my previous post.
IT IS NOT ATTENTION SEEKING.
It’s a way of showing people in what kind of trouble you’re really in. I wanted people to see that these are not just small cuts ob the wrist. These are literally wholes all over my body.
And let me clear some things for the people saying the picture is downloaded…
The pictures of self harm you find on the Internet are all real. Thise were all posted by people who do those things to themselves. So even if you did download a picture from the internet, you […]
I went to a grief support group last night. It took me two weeks to find one that would take me. I live in a fairly large city (roughly 2 million), but yet every single place I called told me I didn’t belong there (except one.) I called hospitals, grief support groups, community mental health organizations, counselors (in fairness, they’d take me, at the tune of $90 and up and hour), and every referral service I could find on the internet. I even called suicide prevention, but they did not have any new names of organizations that I had not tried.
I explained the same thing […]
I can never do anything right in this world. Everything i touch i destroy. Everything i do isnt good enough for anybody. Why cant they see im trying my best to succeed in this world. Mom and brothers think i wont go to college and become someone. I just cant anymore im so stressed and fustrated with myself that i cant do anything right to make anybody proud of me…. im such a screw up sometimes i wish i wasnt born……
this past week has been good to me. i should be very grateful for the people in my life who seem to care about me–but i’m not. (i’m still more grateful for the people i like who i am not sure even like me back as a person. whenever they give me the time of day it feels as though they’re doing me a great service that i should be appreciative of, and i am.) yesterday was such an amazing day. i finally got what i’ve been wanting for months now, and i finally got to hug him (no one else’s hugs matter compared to […]
I was have been depressed since march of this year. and the trigger was separation from my husband. I have loved my husband and left everything for him and now he kicked me out of the house because i called the cops on him as i was slapped and was injured once. I have hired a lawyer to get the charged dropped or atleast convey to the prosecutor for leniency. We both have our flaws and i am from get go willing to seek couples counselling. I have been so helpless and a failure as i was hoping to be a good wife. i still love my […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
I can’t find a way to let go of the darkness, can’t find a way to stop hating, can’t find a way to forget. I can’t let go of the memories that have placed a mark upon my soul.
I’ve decided to accept you the way you are. Things you have lost, things you don’t have. I’ve decided to accept you, and continue to live on.
I can’t find someone to love.
God,
will I be able to get married?
Sorry. He to keep it quiet.
hey every one I just want to tell this advice to every girl if you ever love someone it’s ok love him but don’t ever give him your body let him play with him ,because you will regret it after believe me . I know you will give him your body because you love him but he would be just playing with your emotions and passing his time with you . after he plays with you he would tell you simply (I can’t stay in this relationship) simply as if nothing had happened . and you would start crying in your bedroom and he would […]