Gel pills are the best because they taste like nothing, and it’s the more adult way of doing it (whatever that means, huehuehue!). They take me to another world, they make me feel innocent and kind – like a little girl, and ignorance is total bliss when you’re someone like me. 🙂
So i didnt cut, but i started. i startd cutting since Thursday the 11th. I made a big cut and deep, but i treated it. Today i have around 20 cuts small but bleedable. On thrursday i also told my mum about the voices ive been hearing in my head telling me to kill myself. She told me that shes going to have to take me to therapy. Im actually happy. First, because ill get help. Honestly i dont want to die, ateast not yet. Second, ill be happy and carefree. Nobody nows about my cuts and the voices in my head only my mum, […]
I like a lot of things about this site but the one thing I like is that there is a lot of compassion and understanding but also honesty. I think that if you post your thoughts, expect to get real thoughts in return. If you can’t accept honest feedback… and maybe I’m just totally losing it now since I will die next week but I find it funny that someone deletes another person’s comment to their post but then comments on the deleted comment.
fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING […]
Standing in front of a mirror has never been more freighting.
seeing every flaw,every imperfection,every blemish on your body.
its a nightmare.
you stare too long and then you start to see how your hair isn’t quite right and your eyes are shaped weird.
you get lost in this feeling Of disgust and despair inside but outside you show no emotion.you’re in a silent war against your self.
and all you want is for someone to see,to hold you tight and say you’re beautiful.but no one will.
and suddenly you’re looking back at the mirror and you see is ugly.if only someone would say you aren’t
I left for a while because I thought my life was getting better. I had my suicide planned but didn’t go through with it. My financial situation improved and things were almost looking up. Mom’s health has been returning and some of the people living with us moved out.
But then I received a dose of soul crushing reality today that just threw me right back to the end of the line. I made a post about this before but here’s a recap : I’ve never had luck with love. My love has mostly been unrequited. I’ve been in love for the past two years […]
Afraid to say it
don’t want to admit it
but
I need someone.
Anyone.
It is always the same thing. Funnily, I should say, it is always the same thing. They pretend to care. They pretend to share my sorrow. They pretend to wish me the best.
But they just don’t care. They have their little own things to worry about and I’m not a part of these little things. I’m just contingent. And why (WHY?) would they care for someone who isn’t necessary? I’ve heard it a couple of times. I’m just the depressed and anxious girl they know and I need to stop worrying and to have bright ideas. Yeah please do tell a diabetic person to stop […]
he won’t talk to me, won’t realize how much I love him and care, has his head so far up his sperm donor’s ass, my family and ‘friends’ ignore me, even my cries for help. I am surprised they haven’t repo my car yet. so here’s what I got. I’ve done lots of research so it should work. pure caffeine powder, iron pills, Aleve, diphenhydramine, caffeine pills, lamictal… an overdose of just a single one of those could be lethal according to what I have learned, so let’s hope this cocktail works. maybe then people I know will realize that this isn’t the way […]
Heres the short version of my story, im 20 have never gotten laid, have aspergers, dont have any legit friends, left school because I couldnt take the mental horror that was bullying. I have no degree, I havent had a girlfriend in years, all my friends have someone in their lives, but me im the ugly duckling who wants to take a revolver an blow his head off. Why am I always getting rejected by people :'(
I feel like my heart has just been stomped on, how could you tell someone you want to fix everything. It makes absoultely no sense to me how you could tell someone you still love them but you go off with their old best friends? It’s like you never even loved me as you said you did. Like why did i even have to care for you? Maybe i wasn’t meant to be loved by someone. I have this thing of giving people to many chances & I’ve now realized it, maybe it’s because I want to see the good in that person. Yet they […]
When all you need is someone who just knows and tell you it’ll be okay, you remember that you’ve already scared them away and there is no one left. with each cut I become less human, I just want to feel again, have that sensation of being alive.
I was just going to post a picture on Instagram with the caption being “this has been a crappy day.” Then, I realized I just sounded like an attention whore wanting someone to ask why and understand.
My parents are mad at me. I have a 95% in math. Apparently that’s bad, so they are going to hold a parent-teacher conference. In English i have an 88%. I don’t even know why. My essay was read by teacher as an example paper to the class. I got 7 out 10 right in a pop quiz so it bought down my grade by TEN PERCENT! And on the grading […]
Hello readers/posters:
I am new to this board. Honestly, I never knew such a place existed (I guess I am less imaginative than I once thought). I found you by doing searched for methodology in suicide, which I will not share here per the guidelines and strictures of this site.
Short story of why:
I lost the joy and love of my life recently. No, not due to death. Worse. She found someone else and walked out. I was caught wholly unaware. The rage and sorrow and loss are too much.
I am not a successful man. I have a low-end job at a local donut shop. Hardly where […]
It’s been a long time coming and many failed attempts are piled up amidst the endlessly towering walls I’ve built up. Not everything I do fails. Not everyone I meet I make unhappy. But enough do that it might as well be everyone and everything.
I don’t want to hold on. I do so for others and fuck, I have tried. I moved, moved again, got a new job, adjusted meds, started therapy. The thoughts– fantasies, perhaps- of my demise never find a chance to subside.
I’ve been depressed since I was 10. Abusive and oppressive household and general faulty wiring to blame. This turned into severe […]
Hi, I am new to this site. Well, I have never posted and have rarely commented on anything but I have been around reading for several years. I come to this site to read and have always found much comfort in finding people of similar circumstances and issues. I thought that maybe at long last I would share my story and see what happens. Kind of scary to put it out there I guess but I am going to do so anyway. It may be rather long as I am a writer so I do apologize in advance but would be most grateful if someone […]
Although I didn’t know her, she is the second person in the media to commit suicide recently. She was a singer and Robin Williams also passed away recently.
Most of us try to commit suicide, think about it or know someone who does but it always sad to see someone go…
Some of this could be prevented if only someone would care enough and help one another along the way….
At least for me, I know if someone have me a hug every now and then, encouraged […]
My life is in chaos right now. I’m moving to a different state on Wednesday. I’m gonna be couch surfing with a guy who will let me stay in exchange for me being a chauffeur. I put an ad out on Craig’s List saying I needed a place to crash and I’d do chores and cook in trade. I’ve gotten so many responses of basically “sleep with me and you can stay as long as you like”.
I hate people. I’m not a whore. If I were, I would certainly go for a sugar daddy type instead of someone who will let me sleep on their […]
I’ve been thinking about suicide for the last 15 years and at times, the only thing stopping me from doing it was fear of pain and surviving with brain damage (I could only kill myself with a gun or possibly hanging if I could figure out how to get partial suspension hanging right). But I realize that there are things that could make my life better and stop me from considering the suicide route, if only temporarily.
For me, it would have to be forging a deep important commitment to someone or something. I would have to learn to forget or not think about all the […]
I’m new and like everyone here I have been suicidal and depressed. I feel like I have let a lot of people I care and love down. Seems like all I do is mess up and I feel so alone. I feel as no one cares if I’m around or not. Seems like only time they want me is when they need something or something needs done. I feel like I’m a burden to my family and friends.
I do have a story but I don’t want to get into right yet for I’m not sure if anyone would want to know or talk. It took […]
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