I am my feet, and my ways. Guided by peace to this day. I need my needs, cause I am sand. So I will slip in to your hands, and beyond your reach.
I speak the words holding me, like clashing these bricks and these swords, cutting deep through my soul. I reap the rewards for good seeds and still retain some sort of piece to myself.
I am my feet, no, not my name. Guided by hate through this game. I need release from this place and the chains still draining me until this day.
I am my search and my sins. Guided by […]
It’s been what about a month?
I’m not going to say it’s been too long.
Because it hasn’t.
And that may hurt some of you, but I’m not sorry.
Because I’m starting to get better.
Suicidal thoughts do not cloud my mind anymore.
Thoughts of no one caring are not there.
I know some people care.
And I know some people don’t.
I have accepted that.
For those who don’t care I toss them away.
My friend once said to get rid of the toxic people.
So I do.
But sometimes it doesn’t go as well as planned.
Sometimes my friends get mad at me.
I want to leave this world but I am afraid of what might be next, it could be worse. I mean I am a believer but I don’t understand a lot about it, like why is the punishment so severe? I mean no matter what you’re guilty of, an eternal punishment on any level doesn’t seem right, I mean time here is so finite, and any thing you did wrong should in enough time be cleared but eternal damnation?, and for many all they did was get depressed and off themselves, I mean shouldn’t there be some sort of limit to the punishment? Suppose I […]
I want to die right now. I had some sort of a plan, but now I’m extremely close to just trying the first method that comes to mind instead, and forgetting everything about what I originally planned. I don’t know how to cope with everything anymore, so I’m close to trying to leave this world without taking care of the things I need to first. No matter where I am or what I do, these thoughts are with me more or less constantly, and I don’t know what to do in order to be able to hang on anymore. Needless to say, I shouldn’t do […]
I hope no one takes offense to the “Nuts” line.
Humor’s my go to when I’m trying to cover up my true feelings.
This is my first post.
Actually, I didn’t even know this site existed until about an hour ago.
Well, here it goes…
I’m 28 years old. I’ve struggled with depression & anxiety since I was a child. When I was a teenager I cut my wrists (not deep). I don’t think I wanted to […]
They say that you never forget your first love. This is a 1973 Dodge Dart with the slant 6 motor.
Despite watching everything in my life crumble and dissintigrate into nothing around me, my best friend from home decides to text me out of the blue. After handling her crisis, she says to me, ” You have always been the strongest and most grounded person I have ever known and will ever know.” What she doesn’t know is her text stopped me from inhaling a rather large handful of assorted pills. Her comment…I don’t know if I feel more ashamed for wanted to take my life or if I feel better for knowing that I can keep my fading life under control for other people.
I […]
Why do I not have the energy or the excitement needed to enjoy myself during the day? What is it about me that drives people away, like I’m some sort of weirdo? I can smile, I can play the part, but it’s all fake and I know it. I’m not going to pretend I’m your best friend, but I don’t dislike your company either, you know? Yet I’m excluded even though I’m not exactly bullied. Summer is my break from that, but it also seems to be a break from my true friends too so far, for the most part. I guess they’re turned off […]
Damn it, here I am again. Tired of life and everyone in it. Just took a walk to the highway. Kind of empty this time of night. Sort of like me. Anyway, I guess I am living for another day. Living on borrowed time.
Hi
I’m completely new to this site and I’m not really sure what kinds of things people post but here goes.
I am 23 years old and people think I’m a happy and normal person but I’ve been suffering from bipolar disorder for 5 years. The depression I experience in cycles is becoming too much and I can’t hide it anymore. When I’m like this I am such a drain on my family and I just don’t see an end to it. This is why I want to end it all.
There is one thing stopping me. Despite being completely non religious, I keep having this horrible anxiety […]
This is my first post so hey,
Imagery is a weird thing isn’t it?
Since I was 13 I’ve had that sort of ya know emoish look about me, listened to the music, wore the eyeliner, all that sort of stuff. At that time people couldve somehow assumed, because of this “image”, that I was rebellious, depressed and suicidal. But what’s ironic is at that time when I was going through that sort of “phase” none of that applied to me in the slightest. You could say I was one of the most friendliest, world loving emos our there aha.
I was “a goth” before my dad got […]
Are any of you in a situation in which most of your friends/peers are completely unaware of your depressive and suicidal tendencies? Have you ever gotten that feeling of disconnection that results from knowing that the person across from you, whom you may have known for almost your entire life, is still so fundamentally isolated from an aspect of your personality that consumes you everyday? As if nobody out there actually knows you? Almost like the social creature you’ve sustained over the years is some sort of agent dispatched by you to maintain the facade - Whilst the real you is still at home, under those sheets, constantly asking questions.
I’ve been waiting for years, for just a little bit of peace in my life. I have been trying to find my way, to make different decisions to help better my life. I have cut out a lot of negative people from my life, and despite having done that I’m still not happy not even a little. It feels like I’m in some sort of in between, sometimes I look up and see my life and wonder how I got here. I started crying again because I just don’t understand why I can’t find peace. I can’t stop loving or missing people from my past, […]
I cut because I want to feel. I want to feel the sting of the blade, and then you know how you’re arm feels limp and dead for a little? I enjoy that. I like running my fingers over my cuts, and feeling the bumps along the way down. I don’t cut my wrists; I cut my upper arm. My upper arm is like a journal now, telling stories of my pain, anxiety, and frustrations. I started cutting about a week ago, and I’ve already lost count of my cuts. I hate to say it, but you know when you read that some people get […]
Nice to meet you. Or really, everyone on Suicide Project. I have been reading several stories for the past few days, and… I love this place. It’s a place where we suicidals can tell what is going on in our dark, lonely, minds. We suffer mentally, really. We are doing so much wrong, but it feels do damn comfortable. Well, this sounds like quite a thing you guys have here. I’m Poison. This world has me going mad; to the extent of cutting my own damned skin! Anyone else really tired and sick of society’s crap? Cause then you are welcomed to be my friend. […]
it wouldn’t surprise me if we all had some sort of implants in our head, or trackers or something…it seems like I’m always being watched.
I bet there’s someone whose job it is to monitor me, and they’re reading this. Hello friendly monitor, how’s it going?
I really need to inflict some sort of SH because I’m really struggling right now. It’s past midnight and my mind is heavy with negativity and darkness.
But the thing is, I haven’t done anything in just under 8 months.
I don’t know what to do.
God, give me strength.
I’m sorry about all the things I did in my “youth”. I made the stupid decision to push you away back when SP chat was so popular. I made a stupid comment saying I committed a grotesque thing that meant I would get banned from that community and sort of shunned. It was for the better, although only because I was on the chat for far too long. I bet it’s either dead now or only 2 or three people left on there.
I can’t think of all the names of my old friends of whom I miss dearly, but yet somewhere in my mind your […]
1. Would you leave a suicide note? Why or why not?
2. Any interesting suicide notes you have read?
Answer 1: Personally since I plan to just “disappearâ€, there will be no suicide note from me. But if for some reason my plan changes, I still don’t think I’d leave a note. Well, maybe some sort of encrypted note, that would lead whoever decodes it on a wild goose chase to another encrypted note, then another, then another, until the last note is something like; “Congrats! This has been as pointless as my life!â€
Answer 2: I’ve read Heisman’s and Manley’s. Actually, I didn’t read all of Heisman’s. Read […]
So..How does it feel? Well, depending on the person it can feel all sorts of ways. I know one thing, that no matter the person it feels like shit. Okay, so let’s get started on the whole basis of it.
I don’t really know why I have depression, and sometimes I wish I had some sad backstory so it would be easier to explain. Nothing bad really happened to me, nothing too scarring. It’s just the little things that do it. Every little ounce of stress and anger, it all causes this sort of snowball affect. Slowly building up to knock me down.
It doesn’t physically hurt, […]