I have been a fighter all my life, molested as a child and growing up in extreme poverty in Flint, Bullied constantly and then raped when I was 15. Depression has never been a stranger to me, but I always wondered whether it was circumstantial or a chemical imbalance. I met my boyfriend of 7 years in high school and attended college, I even sought help from a psychiatrist who prescribed me Seroquel and told me I had Bipolar Disorder, the pills made me a zombie for 5 years but for once in my life my insomnia went away. Fast forward to now, my boyfriend […]
Tag:
stop
I honestly don’t understand how people can believe in God. Like what has he done for us?
I saw this video, it was a story of this professor who preached to his class for a whole semester how God couldn’t be real. He’d pick up a piece of chalk and say
“If God was real, he’d stop this piece of chalk from breaking.”
Then he’d drop the chalk and it would break.
One semester this Christian with strong beliefs took his class and at the end of the semester the professor said, “if you still think God is real, stand up”
And the Christian stood up and the […]
Didn’t get what i needed
But i talked to someone and it calmed me down
Im still here- scared as hell.. feel like shit
But I want you to know that your comments (on my last post) today – i read them and they matter to me. Thank you
When you feel so alone and cut off its hard to see anything but the darkness..its around me and in me – its trying to win and i’m trying to fight.. i want to give up so badly but something keeps me here… Right now, i keep running to my room for solace- i have panic attacks and the feeling of overwhelming dread […]
How do you tell the people who gave you life that you don’t want it anymore?
I’m terrified. I’m trying to tell my parents how I’ve been feeling but I keep putting it off. I am afraid that if I tell them, my mom will either ignore me or yell at me and my dad will be disappointed or hurt me. I just don’t know what to do. At the moment, I would really like to seek professional help. I’ve been feeling really down for years. Actually, it’s more of an on and off kind of thing but it’s getting worse and I’m afraid that I […]
…or maybe, technically, it was several days ago when she chose to stop the dialysis that was allowing her to live. A painful way to go but she prided herself on being a tough old broad. We had a love/hate relationship.
I miss her.
Nothing sucks, nothing’s great.. i just want to stop :/
I’ve never posted anything about my depression online for everyone to see. Hell, I’ve never even told anyone about it for fear they’ll look at me differently. Anyway, here goes. I’m eighteen years old and there’s not a day that goes by I don’t think of killing myself. The worst part is, there’s not just one reason or a specific traumatic event I can blame it on. Honestly, my issues don’t seem half as bad as the majority and I know I should be thankful and appreciative but I can’t. I’m just sad. All the fucking time. I used to think it was because my […]
I’m 19, asexual, but lonely. I try to help people. I’ve lost many of my friends recently, and the others haved moved away. I’ve had depression for several years know, and I’m starting to get weak. My friend who lives with me is getting a girlfriend, so I’m going to lose him to. Despite being asexual I have very stong feelings for this friend, and really don’t want this to happen. I know I probaly sound selfish, but I can’t take the loss of someone else… More and more the idea of killing myself comes up in my mind, and more and more….I want to […]
So, my name is Megan, and this is my first post here.
I’m sixteen and have been self harming on and off for the past three years, and I tried to kill myself three years ago. My best friend and my sister’s friend are the only people that know about my suicide attempt.
When I was thirteen, I self harmed for the first time. I remember it quite distinctly, because it was the start of a long, dark road. It was barely a scratch the first time. I used a pair of compasses that I found in my school bag, and I cried immediately after […]
I’ve been eating the pain away, trying to lose the weight of all the hate. Is it normal for feeling sadness ever since I was 8?, sorry I’m not a tank. Ain’t no pill going to stop the wait. Molded into the wrong traits, but I still have faith inside my little gate. My lake is filled up with too many fakes; I try to shake but I always will take the bait. I dream to feel happiness so no such thing as a good wake. I try to be cool, I try to be funny, I try to be smart, I try to be […]
I’m still around. Figuring things out one day at a time. Engaging in things that while not the best for me help me get through the day. Harm reduction is important. If stupid flirting helps me get through or a cigarette or a drink then yes let’s do this. I’m not dependent on them but they help.
I make it to work, even make it on time some days. But I get my work done and there aren’t too many things that I am lagging in. I mean I know some things fall at the way side but I can’t figure out how to stop it.
Time […]
Wishing my wrists were bleeding,
to stop the pain from the beatings.
I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I don’t know if I will ever be consistently happy. I’m changing into somebody I don’t like. There’s not much emotion anymore. I’ve become much more logical, pragmatic. I still suck at doing work, so it hasn’t made me any better at school, but I’m just not emotional about things anymore. I’ve become terse with my parents and girlfriend, less caring and more calculating. I’m losing something, me, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to comfort anyone, or the right things to say. I can’t really empathize. Without a passion, what my purpose? […]
This world is not meant for me as much as i try to fit in it. i have a good job, my parents both love me in their own way, im well liked even though i have no true friends, im imaginative, funny and very smart and yet somethings wrong as i dont fit in this world i have recently cancelled all of my social accounts when i noticed that no matter how hard i tried to connect with people ( i have paid for my so called best friend to come to the cinema with me. ) that i barely get any replies and […]
My father shot himself on December 27th 2007 i was 12 its been seven and a half years since that day. Every day i wake up and wonder why what could’ve possessed him to do it. What could i have done to stop it was it my fault was i not good enough for him.
I don’t even fucking care anymore wooo, I will never stop drinking, never ever. So much for that bullshit Effexor therapy I was trying, made me feel even worse than I already do. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m on a warpath until I die and nobody out there in the world better fuck with me ’cause I don’t have shit to lose.
Well I’m currently struggling with alcoholism, I love it so much and hate it at the same time. I’m trying to think of a way to regulate or cease consumption of it all together. I know from experience I just can’t have a “couple of drinks”, I’m an alcoholic, it’s never just a couple. Can’t drink only on weekend because it just starts to extend into the weekdays. I have to stop. But how am I going to stop? I guess I’m gonna have to wean myself off, my current concoction that I usually drink is about 12 ounces of whiskey/gin/ or vodka, and about […]
I’m such a fucking stupid pill-head alcoholic piece of trash. I wish I never would’ve touched the bottle or drugs when I was growing up, my mine has been warped and I just can’t stop drinking. I drink to numb myself and my feelings and thoughts. All I know is that when I’m going to kill myself I sure as fuck ain’t gonna be sober.
All i see is pain. Do i want to die or just for the pain to stop? Is there a difference? Is there any other way?
There won’t be anyone home besides myself. Friends and loved ones have been pushed away. I’ve been trying to use this time to think about ways to get better. Ways to change but something inside puts a halt to those thoughts…
I don’t want to get better. Things just need to cease going on. Whether it’s the world or just my world. Because the colors been drained, there is no more energy to care. Taking something hot or sharp to soft skin is all I really put effort into. If not that then other ways to wind up hurt. Brusies and scrapes, nicks and cuts…never have […]