I’m a writer working on a piece of fiction with the main character struggling with suicidal thoughts. I want this story to feel real, to connect with those who struggle/have struggled with suicide as well as those on the outside looking in. I’m looking for stories and feelings, the details that make it real. Please post in the comments or email them to me at aj@merlynsquill.com All emails will remain anonymous.
Tag:
stories
When I read the comments to some stories, I wonder why people say the things they do. People who tell others to “stay strong” and “don’t give up” yet are overcome with manic depression and revolving thoughts of suicide. Why do we say things that are so hypocritical? I don’t understand. It frustrates me seeing that, it makes me think “Are these people real? Why are they on here saying these things when they themselves are on the verge of self destruction? I don’t believe they actually mean what they say; or maybe they say those things because they want someone to say the same […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK5dHqXCLbo
Well I just joined this site.. I read a few different stories and figured I’d write one myself.. I am 21 years old I have my own house and I live with my dog. I have severe depression issues. I find it hard to keep going through life knowing I will never amount to anything. I consider myself a decent guy I don’t get angry or violent I just kinda say or do whatever I have to to get through the day. Every day for the past 6 or 7 years I’ve thought about death. Even now I’m just thinking what is stopping me from […]
It seems like if people aren’t beheading you for being an infidel, you’re being judged for your honesty. I really don’t understand how doctors and other intelligent people can be happy, unless they manage to block out the world somehow. I’ve observed several stories about intelligent people committing suicide, being murdered, or shamefully humiliated by society. I thought that I could be happy by being mean, but I’m just not naturally an asshole like so many others. I feel bad when I make morbid jokes based off of reality. When I talked to my therapist, I often told him what was bothering me, and he […]
Sure, she looks like a bollywood model, but that’s not what I mean. She really cares about people. She volunteers at soup kitchens and organizes charity drives. Bad news stories involving people she doesn’t even know makes her get teary eyed. She spent a week losing sleep, tossing and turning because she was worried that I might be upset about something completely insignificant. She truly has a heart of gold.
I don’t have rose tinted glasses on. She’s a boy crazy lush like the rest of the women I know, but she doesn’t let it define her like so many others. She calls me a good […]
It was one of those nights where I was hanging with a large group of friends.
Even though I say friends, i just felt like an outsider looking in, I didnt have much input to give on their conversations. I just wound up sitting there thinking if i wasnt here it would make no difference. The group consisted of my roommates and some more friends ( we were at my house).
One of the friends is debating living with us next year so they spent the night entertaining everyone with stories. Everyone was so happy and lively. When i’m around i have never have good news or […]
I built a wall, 10 stories high. I built a wall, to guard it all. My feelings, my dreams…my heart. It was guarded nice and snug. Then, you came along and it tumbled after one great bomb. Who were you to come along? Who were you to break these walls? You came charging in and won my heart. You took it in your hands, molded it, then set it ablaze in a fiery pit.
Now, I’m but an empty shell of what used to be. I need no walls or defense. You’ve taken the last piece that was dear to me. I have no hopes or […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Coming on this site has made me realize how many of us around the world have stories that teach us we are not alone in the hurt and suffering. Maybe in some solemn sort of way we are all one note away from playing the same song. Perhaps this site shall be our choir and our songs shall live on…
I used to consider myself pretty smart and a good student, but nowhere else have I felt as lazy and stupid as when I’m in class. High school was a breeze cause the stuff was easy and we hardly did anything, but this so called “Higher Education” is such a waste. Many professors don’t teach and expect you to do everything they can do. Nice self-esteem killer. And even if you pass it doesn’t prove you have any practical skills.
So, feel free to share your college horror stories.
I know I barely post here anymore, but I still come back every now and then to read your stories. I recently read Shephard’s goodbye. He was a great friend to me a while back and I lost contact with him for a while. I need to know if any of you have had contact with him since his final post. I sent him an email, but haven’t had any response. And I know I may not hear from him for different reasons… But I just need some closure. It’s killing me. Please, if anyone has heard from him, or knows if he’s still with […]
http://mydeathspace.com/article-list.aspx?q=suicide
look at the suicide sections.. it made me feel a bit numb and some of the stories are shocking.. the one that touched me the most was of this one couple Derrick and Amy Ross made me teary…
This is my first post on this site though I have read many stories that I relate to deeply. I have had depression since pre-pubescent years and suicidal ideation since fourth grade. A feeling of worthlessness has always presided over my life; I have never been able to fit in and because of that it only reinforces the fact that I don’t belong here. After many attempts to free myself from this world, I am composing a final plan to sever the silver chorde. Before you say that I need to seek help, let me assure you that I decided to seek help for years […]
It’s funny how we all live in this huge world to be known by some but feel forgotten by everyone. I walk in the streets and they may see my smile but they’ll never know my stories.. They’ll never know the truth behind this face. All the lies of happiness and all the stories of fake laughter. When will be the day that people can see beyond the “joyful” eyes and see what’s really beneath it all <\3
You wake up in the morning – happy as can be. You strive in life to put a smile on anothers’ face, but struggle to put one on your own. The evening comes and the thoughts wander in – What if…wouldn’t it be great…how would others react it…
Ive been through this website a few times as I struggled to keep myself from making a second attempt. I read about how others feel, the struggles they go through, the stories that match mine.
Having a constant loss of happiness is the worst pain. The moments spent creating little notes and looking up various ways of attempting. The […]
Last year I was hospitalized and then I went to a residential treatment facility to be treated for an extreme depressive episode. I remember self-admitting to the behavioral health unit. I was so out of place. I had never had an experience like that. I’ve never used drugs, and in my group therapy sessions I saw first hand how much pain addiction caused.
It’s been a year since I was released. I’ve visited with a therapist, and I’m still seeing my psychiatrist.
After all of this, my thoughts of suicide are creeping back in. I read a story about two teenage girls who killed themselves, and one […]
Well, ok I do have SOME reason to be here. I have a story, a few actually, I like to share and write so this site seems perfect for me. But for right now I’m fine, not perfect but fine. I’ll share more of my stories on here later, but for right now I want to get settled in. I’ve been depressed 4 times in my short 16 years of life. 3 of those were real, mature depressions and I’ve been suicidal twice. My last depression nearly killed me. I’ll explain later, but I had also had an anxiety disorder and that opened the door […]
Believe what you see from heroes and cons.
Hello again, SP. In my entire time having been depressed, I have only written here once before. This was when I was upset over a trivial problem concerning someone (read: no one-hee hee!) loving me. Boo hoo. Bleeding fucking heart for myself back then. (Please note that I mean no disrespect whatsoever to those of you having relationship problems-I’ve never been good enough for anyone, so you guys are cooler than me! Not that being cooler than me is hard or anything, but I digress terribly.) This time, I write for a completely different reason. A much more […]
When is it ever going to stop?
The images of my body hanging in my room or my wrists cut and blood all over the floor or the glass shards from the window I broke. I want it to stop. I want to stop and I don’t want it to stop.
I want the end the thing that I started. I want to get over this life. I don’t want to exist. I have no purpose and I’m selfish. I don’t care who feels bad. I know they’ll get over it. I don’t want to be born again in a world full of hatred and horror. I […]
So I’m currently writing an assignment for my mental health and well-being paper. The aim of this assignment is to examine the different pathways in which a well-being of an individual is enhanced.
Now, this may seem super random because compared to my other posts. I’ve never really done this. But I was wondering, if anyone, and I mean ANYONE would like to contribute.
What I really wanted to know is, when you think of that one happy moment..just that ONE HAPPY moment, what do you feel? & What is it that makes you feel that way?
Another is forgiveness. Has anyone ever taken the courage to forgive […]