Tag:

Suicidal Thoughts

Advice

by gabe123 1/31/2013

written by gabe123

I just want to say, first off, that I have been following this forum for awhile. You see, I have been trying to help a dear friend. Her depression and suicidal thoughts have been going on since she was a teen. Reading the comments here has really helped me understand what she’s going through.

It has been really rough lately for her. I’m trying to do my best for her. I haven’t been perfect (far from it). I’ve made tons of mistakes. Mostly, flying by the seat of my pants and guessing at what’s coming next.

Her meds were changed recently by her psychiatrist. She’s going to […]

1/31/2013 3 comments

I have no future, and I can’t care enough to do anything about it.

by Hyasha 1/30/2013

written by Hyasha

For as long as I can remember, I’ve found myself unable to care or put forth effort for anything. I don’t pursue friendly or romantic relationships, and I don’t have any work ethic for academics or finding any sort of job. I’m a quick learner, so I’ve mostly been able to coast through high school on tests alone, though I’m currently at severe risk of needing to repeat my senior year next year. Due to my lackluster academic record and the fact that my family is barely above the poverty line, I have no prospects for college whatsoever.

The thought of suicide crosses my mind every […]

1/30/2013 4 comments

Seventh Time Unlucky

by roojay13 1/29/2013

written by roojay13

Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.

From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.

All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.

From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]

1/29/2013 4 comments

Need Advice.

by Maria_A 1/28/2013

written by Maria_A

I’ve come to the realization that living with theseÂ suicidalÂ thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’mÂ burdeningÂ those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.

Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]

1/28/2013 12 comments

Could anyone help me?!

by Engeltje 1/27/2013

written by Engeltje

So I’ve started with medication since thursday. I take RubiÃ³ (better known as Ritalin or methylphenidate/MPH/MPD) 5mg twice a day (at 8.30 am and at 12.30 pm) always after my meal. But since thursday I feel really sick. My stomach hurts (not my belly, but my tummy) and my intestine also, it feels like it’s kind of restless. I also feel the whole time like I have to vomit. I only eat my breakfast and lunch and dinner, and take my medication after my meals. I have a very bad headache and I’m scared that I can pass out every minute. Does anybody here have […]

1/27/2013 1 comment

A little Story

by tabiteata13 1/25/2013

written by tabiteata13

Hi my name is Alexandra.

Me being on a website like this would be disapproved by all my family. But my family is not willing to help me and not willing to see the the problem I have as a big deal. I love them all so much but they will not give me help, and help is exactly what I need.

I cut I dont really remember the reason I started or even how I started all I know is that it felt…good.

My mom use to tell me what reason doÂ I have to be sad? I don’t know I just know that I am sad. She […]

1/25/2013 21 comments

My Story – abridged version

by otherworldliness 1/24/2013

written by otherworldliness

So I am about to turn 30 in about a month. Looking back at the past 17 years of my life (of which, parts of 12 years spent on struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts), it has been a roller-coaster ride. Here are some highlights. I don’t expect you to be interested in my life story, but if you have time, read on!

17 years ago, I migrated to Texas, and started in an ultra conservative high school. Language barrier was one, but being bullied non stop for not speaking English well was another. It was even worse being bullied for trying to learn English. My responseÂ was […]

1/24/2013 4 comments

Happy… but having suicidal thoughts

by Elfie 1/24/2013

written by Elfie

So this is my first story here…

I’m 20 years old and have been thinking about suicide since I was about 7
(yes, for real)

Thing is, back then, I was also happy… The biggest problems I had were
“my brother ate my chocolate” and so on… And well, now, with getting older, encountering other *more severe* problems in life, they still don’t get to me in a way that I would want to kill myself because of them. As said in the title, I’m a quite happy person.

But in all these years, all this time, there is a constant need to end it all…

My urge to […]

1/24/2013 5 comments

anger.

by b1urr 1/23/2013

written by b1urr

they all get angry when i don’t wake up early enough, when i don’t tidy my room, when i get home late.
they get angry at everything.
we live in such an angered world.
uh, maybe it’s because i have no purpose for these things. they’re things that i will soon (hopefully) not even see.
be happy i wake up at all, when i’m dead my room will be bare, and this thing you call home isn’t mine.

sometimes i want death more than i want my girlfriend. although she savesÂ me so i decided to stay around a bit for her. in this angered world.

1/23/2013 2 comments

My past and how I got stranded in my problems.

by Engeltje 1/23/2013

written by Engeltje

Boot777 asked me what my main problems are that cause my suicidal thoughts. I decided to make a post of it, so here it is. Well, there isn’t really one problem you can point at that causes the suicidal thoughts. Actually, there are a lot of things that cause them. I am not telling you all of them, because probably I’ll forget one or two and that’s going to be bored, so I’m going to tell the important one’s (I guess). I’ve been bullied from my fourth untill now. The worst part was at age of 11, 12 I guess. I was at elemntary school […]

1/23/2013 3 comments

Canâ€™t stop thinking about this shit, have to write it or Iâ€™ll do something really fucking stupid

by fibsequence 1/23/2013

written by fibsequence

I have been having suicidal thoughts lately
Seems like the easiest way outâ€¦..yet Iâ€™ve seen how suicide affects my friends, and I donâ€™t want them to feel the pain of going through that ever again
So Iâ€™m stuck in an endless loop of torturing myself
I donâ€™t fear death, I embrace it
Why fear something you know nothing about? It could be the best thing that ever happened to you
I am ugly, and all people ever seem to care about is how a person looks
Even if one of my friends is eyeing someone, they always judge them based on what they look like, and involve me
Even Iâ€™m guilty of […]

1/23/2013 4 comments

When the world turns their back on you…

by Soroxen 1/22/2013

written by Soroxen

You disappear…

What have I done to deserve this?

I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]

1/22/2013 21 comments

dead inside

by wrpj7569 1/22/2013

written by wrpj7569

Was anyone else HOPING the world would end in Dec? I guess disappointment abounds. I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for over twenty years now without ever seeking professional help. I try to shun the outside world as much as possible because I thought that it would be easier than the loss and pain that come from relationships with people, but I’m not sure that lonliness is something that’s any easier to live with. I think about killing myself every day, but it’s been 13 years since my second failed attempt. Part of me still wants to believe that there’s a reason I’m […]

1/22/2013 4 comments

i wish i were no more.

by b1urr 1/22/2013

written by b1urr

i wake up thinking about killing myself, i go through the days crying, wishing i wasn’t here. i don’t know how much longer i can deal with this. it’s fucking draining. i think about all the pros there’d be if i were gone; there are hardly any cons. it would just be so much better and easier for the people i care about. i feel like such a burden, i’m a failure too. i’ve been letting everyone down and i’m so sorry. all of my personal issues and disorders are getting worse and i’m scared. i’m so scared. scared of living this life. scared of […]

1/22/2013 2 comments

Heros and Regret

by unperfect weapon 1/21/2013

written by unperfect weapon

I lie awake at night and i think back when i saw razor blades and i was tempted to buy one. But i decided not too. I look back and think to myself “Why did not I buy it? Why did i stop myself” And i thought to myself there are no heroes, no one will save you from your depressing life. You have to be your own hero and save yourself. Because no one else will, and no one else will try, and as i lay here in bed i think to myself ” I am my own hero and I will save myself”

1/21/2013 1 comment

another reason why.

by b1urr 1/18/2013

written by b1urr

since 3rd grade i’ve struggled with trichotillomania. for those who do not know, trichotillomania, often linked to anxiety disorders, is a hair pulling disorder. many people think it is just a habit -like my mother- but it is not. my father believes this issue of mine can be fixed by using punishment, he’s fed this idea to my mum and she’s tried it. of course it didn’t work. my doctor suggested prozac -my mums against any anti depressants- i want it so badly. i want it so that i can have my hair grow back nice and thick, i want it because a side effect […]

1/18/2013 4 comments

Messed up -.-

by tessxo 1/17/2013

written by tessxo

Well my name is tess and im 14, im here just saying my story, when i was young i was diganosed with Adhd (attention dificit. Hyoeractive disorder), Â my mum got divorsed with my dad and got with another man, he was wrong, i got bullied allot from him not just physically but mentally too, Â he would just fuck with my head, i got put through walls, knives held up to my throat and much more, i got bullied by an older man than me….. I fiannly got to the age where i could tell someone about it, i told my mum, she didnt belive me, […]

1/17/2013 9 comments

Nothing’s left.

by AgainstTheWorld 1/15/2013

written by AgainstTheWorld

I’m 13 years old, turning 14 in March 13. I’m here again. Alone. I’ve been sexually abused by two family members and physically abused by almost every single person in my family. I’ve been beaten with objects. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth when it got busted and bruised. I’m insecure. I have cuts all over my legs and arms. And I have P.E too, we’re forced to wear shorts, I have to run everyday in the lockers and change as fast as possible making sure no one is able to see. I keep my razor inside my phone case, just in […]

1/15/2013 4 comments

I Hate Being Social

by hopefuldreamer 1/15/2013

written by hopefuldreamer

Recently I’ve noticed that the more social I become the more suicidal thoughts I feel. I was with my friend yesterday and I was fine but as time went on I felt so insecure I don’t remember my exact thoughts but I know that they were self-hating it’s funny how I get lonely yet I feel awful when with people I feel like I don’t matter which I really don’t. I really feel upset when I hear good news from other people like oh ” so and so is doing so well they’re doing (insertÂ activityÂ here)” it just makes me feel like I had more going […]

1/15/2013 0 comment

I have my plan

by jamiewonderer 1/13/2013

written by jamiewonderer

I have my plan in place, I’ve always tried by pills with no success.Â Â Wed I plan to go in front of a train.Â I have a meeting and after the meeting it should be dark enough I can do so without being seen until it’s too late.Â Â Right now there is no fear but I am sure when it comes I will feel scared.Â At least I will feal something.Â At least I can put all these suicidal thoughts to rest.Â Â I plan on burning all my print journals and closing all my social accounts wed morning.Â I don’t know if I want to […]

1/13/2013 5 comments

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