My name is Rachael. Im 17 and I have always been screwed over by guys. But what I do is I let them walk all over me and I will still be the one that apologises. I do the same thing with my “friends” to, they can bully me and screw me over as much as they want and I still wont care. you know why? Because I’m so scared of being alone.
Well, I’ve had my heart broken that many times that I have pretty much ruined the only good guy that I’ve met. I have a boyfriend at the moment… lets call him…. Dean. […]
Check out this AMAZING youth suicide clip…I wrote it because I wanted to die, in fact I tried to take my life, but things didn’t quite work out that way…Check this out, share it and potentially help save someones life!
Hi everyone, so today was the weirdest day in English. My class and I are reading Fahrenheit 451Â Â and we got to a part where Guy Montag’s wife Mlidred overdosed on sleeping pills. So, of course my teacher had us stop there and she started talking about the book’s society. Then she got into suicide. As she was talking about overdosing and what it does to you, I tried to stop listening to her because I been wanting to OD for a while now. Eventually, I heard the word “cut” from my teacher’s mouth and I wanted to start breaking down crying. Suicide really affects me, […]
Well, I’ve been bullied for more than 11 years, 8 of them were really worse. It started all at primary school at the age of 4. For the first in my life I went to school. But after a while my classmates didn’t wanted to play with me any more, or I had the ‘not-populair’ role. When we had to play outside, I played usually alone. Not because I didn’t wanted to play with them, but how hard I tried, they didn’t wanted to play with me. This all may seem very innocent to you, but it was the beginning of all the problems I […]
Every thing is getting on top of me. I have been “clinically depressed” since i was 15 but these days I wonder if i have other things going on. I just make mistake after mistake and its made my life very hard. I then feel bad for thinking my life is hard when i am no doubt luckier than billions of people and animals in the world. My life is hard in terms of feelings of worthlessness, lonliness, panic, self hatred and guilt. I loath myself and then even more for being so inward facing and seemingly selfish. I am very manipulative.
I have made so […]
the clutching curiosity of death is grasping me relentlessly. i wonder the thoughts that would race through my mind as i plummeted towards the pavement, i wonder what people would think when they discovered what happened to me, i wonder what people would think when the found out my true story and how shitty i felt while i was laughing at their jokes.
i will end my life, i will end it, i will, no one else, nothing else. this is me taking control of my life.
I am in my last year of highschool and I have never been so alone and afraid in my entire life. During exams last year I went to a party and did something stupid that caused a bunch of girls to say hurtful things to me and it just pushed me over my limit. I’ve dealth with their cattiness for the past 2 years and I was done with it. I called my mom to pick me up and she couldn’t even tell I was breaking down. It wasn’t her fault because I am good at pretending I am okay. When we got home she […]
I miss the first time we kissed. November 4, 2009. I smiled the whole way home. I tried to stop, but I couldn’t. I was so happy. I miss the first time you wrap your arms around me, kissed my cheek. I miss the first time you called me babe. I miss the beginning, when we didn’t want to say I love you, so we said i <3 u. I miss the first time you said you loved me. I miss the feeling of being loved, I was so blown away at the fact that someone could actually like me, none the less love me. […]
I wished they would knew what was going on in me, but I can’t tell them. My parents are noticing that I want to do less things, and they don’t agree with it because they think it will take me down. What they don’t realize is that doing so many things is killing me, it makes me more depressed and more suicidal. So doing those many things will actually take me down, but they have another vision and don’t want to listen to me. We have constantly arguments, and I really wished I could tell them, but they won’t agree with me. They just don’t […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHqo2FDJSU0I feel like nothing is going anywhere… nothing is getting any better. A year ago I moved to my father’s to finally get away from my mother, sister, and my mother’s boyfriend, because they were pushing me to the edge. They’ve always been “there” for me, at things like competitions for band, and driving me to school events… but that is pretty much where it ends.
My mother loves me, and I hate seeing her upset, but when my sister is around, there is always a pointless fight started by her, and I get to the point of just wanting to jump off the […]
I pushed another person away today. I push every fucking person away. I feel like people would be better without me in their lives. I cause nothing but pain and all I want to do is hurt myself. I can’t control my emotions, especially my anger and I just snap all the time. It scares my girlfriend and I wish I could make her life better. The only way I feel I can do that is by ending my life. I don’t want to die but it is what’s best for everyone else. I feel like over-dosing today. I want to but I’m scared. I […]
It has been 3 weeks ago since I had to leave the psychiatric hospital. In those 3 weeks a lot of things have changed. Everything is for me too stressful and I feel really stressed. I also feel really down, more suicidal and I don’t wanna do a single thing, there’s not a single spark of happiness in me. I even can’t handle school, and I’m doing only the half of my lessons. I really don’t know how to go further anymore. I’m fighting to get a better life for 10 years now, and it only gets worser and worser, so why should I anymore? […]
I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I’ve been suffering with dysthymia since the seventh grade almost and fifteen now, but last night I think did me over completely. My family and I got into a huge altercation last night that led to words being said that I’d never thought I’d hear outside my own mind. “You’re crazy, *****, you ruin everything, I don’t want anything to do with you” “You ruined my life” (coming from my own mother). I used to tell myself these things in my mind. Along with fat, slut, stupid, and ugly. But I just thought maybe it’s all […]
Really, what’s so great about this world anyways? All I see are a bunch of people who have too many worries to be bothered with some suicidal girl, and I don’t blame them, I wish I could be one of them but I’m not. I’m just a repulsive, hard to love, self harming, suicidal girl. I’m no one special or anyone that will be truly missed. Can someone come and stab me to death, please? It would be much appreciated.
im so fucking ugly. i want to die.
Hello…this is the first time I write something like this, but I hope it works…
Never make someone your everything, because when that someone gets tired of you, you’ll have nothing…I’ve heard that so many times; and I didn’t believe it till now. My stupid decisions made me who I am….an empty girl who just wanna die. I lost my best friend…the only person I could lean on, she got tired of me all suddenly. Well not that suddenly…It was my fault, I abandoned her first, but I just wanted a real family for once…does that makes me selfish? I think that I’m selfish after […]
I want to feel I’m punishing myself, I feel like this since I was teenage. looking for the most painful methods, hate life, hate myself, planning attempting.
I want to shoot the point between my breasts, aim to my heart, I could shoot my stomach first just for pain. if I didnt die, I’d shoot my heart.
so i just really don’t know what to do right now
i am feeling very suicidal at the moment
and i have my razors and pills right next to me
i want to do it
but then i don’t
but then i do
and i just need help
please
if you’re there please try and help me
To be completely honest, I hate my life. I have never been bullied, abused, or anything that could put me in a state like this. I am depressed, suicidal, and a cutter. I have what most people would describe a ‘perfect life’. But its not like that at all-
Just more than 6 weeks ago, my parents found out that I cut. To my dad, he didn’t give a fuck about my cuts. He just wanted them gone. My mother was out of town that week so she didn’t know until my dad told her.
At school, everything is fine. I fake a smile, get through the […]
i want to cut severely deep.
i want to hit myself with the hardest things, as hard as i can.
i want to drown in my tub with heavy rocks holding me down.
i want to never speak again.
i want to take all the pills i can find.
i want to purge until my throat is raw.
i want to never eat again.
i want to say good bye and mean it.
i want my body to fail me.
i want the blood to keep pouring.
i want the darkness to eat me alive.
pulling me further and further down.
i will be no more.
nothing.
gone.
if only […]