im boring and manyy ppl hate me cuz im a piece of sh*t idk what i should do with my life rn its summerholiday and what i do is learning cuz i .. rn im in japan (im japanese) i live there but you know i wanna go back to austria where i was born and where my best is 2 years ago my mum wanted to move to jpn i thought first it would be so cool japan is beautiful and the ppl here are so nice but i wanna be in austria and my class is soo fu**ed up they are so stupid idk […]
Tag:
Suicide
Escape from its grasp
An impossible task
For the afflicted is trapped
Within a one piece clasp
The issue before thee
One cannot see
The moon from the night
The shore from the sea.
The cock of the hammer
The slam of the slide
Signaling the death
Of one’s self pride
One pull from freedom
One final thought
Shall my soul fly
Or, shall it not.
If you’re as confused as I am, you don’t know why you’re here. You don’t know what you believe in or where you’re going in life or what’s in your future. You’re confused as to why you don’t want to be here.
If you’re as lost as I am, you don’t know where to turn. You don’t know who to talk to, who will listen, or who can help you. You’re lost in a darkness that bleeds through everything else.
If you’re as depressed as I am, you feel hopeless. You know that no matter what anyone else says, you can’t be happy, you don’t quite know how to […]
So the state refuses to fix my insurance. In 4 days I won’t have any. Cancelled insurance at 32 1/2 weeks pregnant.
I won’t be paying medical bills back because I don’t have an income of any kind. I’ll just have to deal with collection calls and letters until they give up getting money from me and put it as a charged off account on my already very poorly rated credit.
This also means I won’t be able to get any kind of postpartum care. Good news is that I’ve already accepted I’ll be a depressed woman with no safety net.
At least I […]
Back to being a bit depressed but im here to help YOU! -well at least try
by smartie
written by smartie
hi guys and gals!
23 year old here…i use to come on this site so much back in 2012..it really helped bring me out of depression and get my life back on tack.
But recently i have been so down and feel like im losing everything. Ive distanced myself from previous “best friends” because of the constant petty arguments, and me being called phony because i work day and they work night (stupid right?)…im starting to hate where i work (abortion care..) to many idiots and women coming in at crazy number of weeks to abort…, i hate that i always just feel lonely..like i dont have […]
Feeling depressed and not worth living? Then you have been lied to… (Part 1)
by beyourself
written by beyourself
Let me first tell you a bit of my story and how I found this website – I was searching for methods to commit suicide. Why? I do not feel suicidal at all and I do not want to die at all. However, I may not have any other option. The reason for this is that there are some criminal people treating to do horrible things to me and my family, presumably because I was the cause for their significant financial losses (we are talking millions “supposedly”). While I can accept being killed I do not want my family to be affected. Therefore, my only […]
I need help… I need to feel something again other than pain and sadness and heavy hearted. I’m falling apart and no one notices anymore because apparently I’ve been become too good at hiding. Ironic really that the only thing I’m good at anymore is hiding how I really feel. 22 years of doing it though, I better be fucking good at SOMETHING.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me… Why can’t I ever enter into a relationship where I’m not used, betrayed, or abused? Why can’t I feel happiness again, but REALLY feel it? I smile at my loved ones, I […]
I have always been a social inadequate, I just can’t, I just don’t care.
I’m afraid of the people, it just gives me so much anxiety thinking of having to be in front of people, of having to be accepted.
I just can’t, I just can’t. Fuck society, screw having to be accepted and live in a world where you have to meet the expectations.
Suicide is not a selfish act, selfish are those who expect that one should not commit suicide because your family and friends will suffer, because they love you. Yes, I love them as well, and I respect them, but my personal journey, my […]
Last night I lay awake in my bed thinking about my vacant, failure of a life. I think I have accepted the fact that I have lived longer than I should have. The first time I thought about suicide was when I was 20 years old.I’m 30 now. I think the only things that kept me alive and bothering to go on was that I was able to achieve some success financially in my now dissolved businesses, my family and the very smallest of things in life. But now things are becoming very dark. I think to myself that I really should have pulled the […]
Struggling these past few days and it’s hurting those around me.
Especially my child. I made them cry twice today. I’m so messed up right now I told my 2 year old to shut up.
Why? They were hungry while I was trying to angrily call the state about my insurance that’s going to be cancelled next month.
No insurance when I’m 8 months pregnant. Awesome. Worse case scenario I’ll stop all prenatal and deliver at home completely unassisted medically. I can’t afford the bill. It’s whatever. I’m not even worried about birth.
The thing I should be worried about is postpartum depression. I’m […]
So, there are people who constantly trying to bring themselves down by unconsciously doing stupid things that destroys their life. When they start, it’s a vicious circle that can cause a lot of damages, not only to themselves, but sometimes to the others as well. Why, will you ask. Well, one of the reasons is that in their life, someone or something might have made them feel worthless, useless, unwanted, or even hated. They might have been mentally tortured and stuff, so they end up conditionned thinking uncousciouly their the salt of the earth.
I was often beaten by my mother. And I don’t know why, […]
I feel like dying today. My world has been falling apart lately, my boyfriend has been my only support and I would always go on because of him. Until now, I made a mistake and he is ignoring me. I feel so fragile, lost, empty. We’ve been talking about it and trying to solve things but from one day to the other he decided to ignore me, I feel heartbroken. I want to jump from the top of a building but I’m waiting. Maybe he’ll talk to me. If not, I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the weekend.
Aimless and directionless
No vision, no love, no compassion
Nothing, constant pain
Were the sky’s ever clear in my life?
No
I doubt anyone follows what I post on here, I’m new-ish and I don’t interact much.
Anyways I’ve mentioned before I’m pregnant.
Which means according to my own rules suicide it off limits. I have a rule “do no physical harm to another” I’m totally pro-choice and viability is a thing but I still have respect for *potential* life.
That doesn’t stop me from desiring to commit suicide or frequently thinking of death. It’s highly likely that I will not chose to make it through postpartum depression again. I’ve fought enough in this life to only face more misery. We’ll see I guess
I’d be […]
Im not gonna kill myself but I’ve always had it on my mind. My family is a mess! My mom is working for the 5 of us, my dad’s a drug addict/alcoholic, my brother has mental issues. I hate the people at my school (mainly the girls) because i get picked on for being quiet. I have no friends. During lunch i just go in the bathrooms. Life just isn’t good right now. I’ve been imagining what life for others would be like without me. But I just cant kill myself because I love my family especially my mom. There has been times where I […]
Hope is one of the cruelest feelings on earth. It tricks you into thinking that everything will get better, that the present isn’t as bad as it seems, and that those who made you feel like garbage have some redemption.
I really, really hate hope.
I thought my parents were beginning to understand me. I was more wrong about that than I have been about anything in my entire life.
My father wants the addresses of every single friend that I go see. He checks the mileage on my car to see how much I’ve been traveling and if it matches up with what I tell him. He […]
I almost ended my life tonight.
I got into a huge argument with not only my parents, but my grandparents, who I believed understood me more than my parents did; I was also publicly humiliated in front of my friends, in a situation where my parents and grandparents ran out in front of my house, in front of the car my friends were in, all just to yell at me.
I had to tell my friends to leave immediately. My parents talked to me for two hours and tried to tell me that family is all I have. That they’re the only ones who will ever truly […]
No one will ever believe you, in all of truth’s entirety, until you’re dead. No one will completely understand the pain you were going through or how serious you were, until they find your body.
Not your parents, not your friends, not your doctors.
You only have yourself until you’re dead.
I’m not quite sure if becoming a user of this forum is a means of an end or a coping method. At this point, it really couldn’t matter less.
One day, perhaps, I will fully disclose the ‘origin story’ (this phrase is funny to me, as if comparing the origins of my condition to the origins of a superhero’s powers); the entire tale of my descent into severe depression, my incessant and quite honestly obsessive thoughts of suicide that had lasted every day for a year, and my journey through psychiatric hospitalization. At one point, I had felt that these points in my life were important and […]