No one will ever believe you, in all of truth’s entirety, until you’re dead. No one will completely understand the pain you were going through or how serious you were, until they find your body.
Not your parents, not your friends, not your doctors.
You only have yourself until you’re dead.
I’m not quite sure if becoming a user of this forum is a means of an end or a coping method. At this point, it really couldn’t matter less.
One day, perhaps, I will fully disclose the ‘origin story’ (this phrase is funny to me, as if comparing the origins of my condition to the origins of a superhero’s powers); the entire tale of my descent into severe depression, my incessant and quite honestly obsessive thoughts of suicide that had lasted every day for a year, and my journey through psychiatric hospitalization. At one point, I had felt that these points in my life were important and […]
I have schizoid personality disorder and basically I’ll never get “better” from that.
After loads of research I’ve discovered that the life I’ve wanted has basically been the root cause of my depression.
I know there’s exceptions but
Schizoid people don’t typically get married let alone have dating relationships
Schizoid people don’t have children
Schizoid people can’t or don’t work in most professions
Basically I’ll never have a healthy or happy relationship with anybody and that’s why my marriage failed and my current relationship is likely to fail as well.
I may have brought my daughter home from foster care but I’ll never be […]
Today I had a breakdown again, and I decided to do a list of things that I really enjoy and I’ll miss if I kill myself, because I will be… uhm… dead. So these are 16 things that can help me get through this day, and maybe tomorrow, and next week.
There is nothing very special here, but these are the things that bring some joy to my life, and they are my reasons to stay alive and not kill myself. I will read them every morning so they can help me battle my urges. Tell me about yours too! 🙂
1. My Parents
2. My Boyfriend
Hi, this is my first time posting. I am up late at night because I am having trouble sleeping. The night before last I attempted to hang myself but it failed. It was more of a test run then a full blown attempt. Not finding success, in the morning, I bought charcoal and a grill to try that method. I assembled the grill, placed it in my car and that is as far as I got. In the end, I am not ready to kill myself, but all the pain and regrets of my past feel like they are killing me slowly and painfully.
I am […]
i need someone to talk to…
i can’t deal with all the voices, the pain, the loss, the live…
i never noticed how heavy air is…
i wanna be me again… before all this happened…
the only way is to start again…
email me : keza.talwar@gmail.com
[contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Website’ type=’url’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]
So fucking sick of this life! I hate my parents for bringing me here! Black parents are traitors and liars. Why would you live a shitty inferior life then bring me here to do the same? Black people are hated the WORLD over because the majority are criminals and too stupid to function. It does not matter if you try to be a “good negro” your image is tainted from birth. Outside of accra and lagos (probably built up by non-blacks) there are no black civilizations. Nothing but death, misery and disease becomes of any place we inhabit. I chose to remain childfree because I […]
I know a lot of people on here have the kik messaging app. If not, it is free. Just instant messaging.
I feel like it would be nice for a group of us to join a chat room on it though. It would be fun. Let me know if anyone wants to 🙂  I already have 3 peoples kik on here, so it’s a start
my kik is devinx7
I cant do this anymore. I have decided that if things don’t improve by the 1st June, I am going to kill myself. I cant take the pain anymore.
And then finally I can be free of all the pain
So I have been depressed since I was 13, I had a eating disorder (anorexia) for almost three years, I have social anxiety, I self harmed for many years, but now I am 7 months free (yep, trying to hold on) and I tried to commit suicide 5 times.
I can’t stand not being the best, and this feeling is eating me alive. I can’t focus, I can’t stop crying, I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. The feeling of not being perfect is destroying my life, I can’t help but break stuff, hurt myself, slap my face and smash my head against a wall everytime I […]
Reality is boring
real-life is boring
real-world is boring
not like movies, comics, novels, anime manga, video games !
also,
I hate Humans , Humans suck
I hate Human , Human suck
I hate Humanity, Humanity suck
I hate people , people suck
Most humans / people only think about Money ,
and this reality is boring !
reallife is boring !
realworld is boring !
people / humans are so shallow, superficial, stupid, ignorant
Humanity is hopeless
if there is God , then God is boring !
even Science is boring too !
Science fiction (Sci-fi) is much more interesting than real Science facts !
why […]
REALLY LONG STORY
I’m a thirteen year old girl who seems like I have a comfortable, normal life. but that’s only what I let people see about my life. since December, 2015, my life changed. It started with one nightmare about the people I care about dying, but then it became reoccurring and it became worse. I started having horrible visions about death and even people I didn’t know were dying. One day I found the courage to talk to my mom about it and she seemed really upset and confused. She even told me she didn’t know how to help me. While […]
I’ve heard so many life stories… Some sad, some happy, and some all of the above, but now I want to share mine… So here we go… Hey, my name is Arianna… I’m a 13 year old girl. I guess you could say I’ve been through a lot in life, but not as much as others… Currently I’m in a depression.. I lose and gain my appetite all the time, for no reason at all, I’ll get sad and or angry at myself, and lastly….. I self-harm… It all started 2-3 years ago. I was being bullied by two boys, that I will not name. […]
Have ever just felt worthless and hated by everyone?? It’s the worst feeling ever apart from heartbreak.. I’ve felt like no one wants me here.. I’m always sad and or angry at myself for no apparent reason.. Sometimes it’ll be because the way I laugh, or how i look when i smile.. Yeah Ik, those are idiotic reasons to be angry with yourself with. Or it was because some bully calling me names or telling me to do things, like telling me I should go kill myself.. I tried to kill myself before.. When my best friend told me i should do the world a […]
Don’t cry over my death, cry over my life.
I apologize for the long post. My story is summarized in the beginning and end of this post. This post turned out to be long because I felt that it was necessary to explain some aspects of my situation.
I’ve always loved life and feared death, so committing suicide was absolutely unthinkable for me. That changed in early July 2015 – when I finally considered suicide as an option for avoiding homelessness or jail in the future. Originally, any suicide that I might commit would take place after my parents’ deaths – and when I had no income and faced homelessness, which I estimated to be 10-15 […]
Hi, I’m a new member here so I guess I will start off with a little background. I am currently a 17 year old, high school Jr. that has been struggling with depression for almost four years. About three years ago I attempted suicide. It was the lowest point in my life and I’m noticing a lot of similarities between then and now. Today, I had my first suicidal thought in about 3 years and I’m genuinely scared. I remember when I had my first suicidal thought so long ago, it was exactly like this one. I thought about how and why i would do […]
Life is shitty. That’s how it is, and it won’t change. I’ve read many many posts on this website, and I can empathize deeply with many posters. Family problems, work problems, relationship problems, it’s all the fucking same. These problems make us feel SO shitty that some of us would rather commit suicide than suffer through another second of it.
Is this fair? Fair to feel shitty for most part of our days? Sleep is the only escape. I don’t feel shitty while in slumber, but it gets to me as soon as I wake. Sleep is great, however it is still a temporary fix and […]
I thought I was getting better, but everything just seems to fall apart after a while. I met someone I’ve truly fallen in love with, and I’m afraid he will leave soon.
Who wouldn’t get tired of someone who cries every night and freaks out about everything? Who wants to lay in bed with someone with open wounds and stained pants or bedsheets? Sure you might say, “He loves you for who you are even on your bad days.” But what if my bad days are every day? I feel like he will get tired of saying everything will be okay and get annoyed with how […]
It’s been years since I posted. My first post was when I was a sophomore in high school I think. I’m finishing up my second year in college now.
I guess being suicidal and severely depressed never goes away even when things change. I was a year clean from self harm. It’s all starting again.
Please log in to report posts