Tag:

Suicide

to steve_c (in reply to your thread “Niki”), and also everyone else who’s interested

by niki 8/24/2010

written by niki

I swear I fuckin’ hate this whole “awaiting moderation” thing, I’ve typed such a long reply to you & your excellent post, steve_c, but then it comes again this “awaiting moderation” thing. Luckily I have copied what I’ve wrote, and I’ll paste/write it again here:

thank you everybody for your posts, and also kyle, for your caring of me (english is also not my first language, so I really appreciate you’re taking some time to write out & translate your thoughts into english. it’s not easy).
Believe me that I very much appreciate it. and thank you very much Steve, for actually braving yourself to […]

8/24/2010 11 comments

is Humanity too dumb, or in simpler words, are most people just too dumb to realize the most essential things for better world?

by niki 8/23/2010

written by niki

Every time I come to see a new post about someone sharing his/her pain in life, my heart can’t help but feeling much pain too (even if I never know that person in real life). And there are so much, so many people that seems to believe that DEATH is ultimately the ‘Answer’, that of what would be the true resting place, the true door, or even the true world/dimension of ultimate pureness to live, unlike this “damn corrupt & sickening” earthly life caused/polluted mostly by ‘stupid, clueless, dumb, egoistical’ humans, so they said.

Every all wise gurus of this world (be it Buddha, Jesus, etc) […]

8/23/2010 5 comments

If the story doesn’t go on,…it ends.

by Sussi 8/23/2010

written by Sussi

I probably shouldn’t even consider death as an option, I got a wonderful wife and two adorable daughters. I know I’m needed as a father, sometimes as a husband, but that is not enough for me. I want to win in life and if my family is like food for my well being, then success on the work side of life is like water. Ever since I finished my secondaries, I’ve just been jobbing around, even if I was good at what I was doing, there was always something to take me out. Now I’m 35 jobless again since 1.5 years, considering my age my […]

8/23/2010 1 comment

for those who want to commit suicide, what you really need is perhaps just be more open-mind & keep searching

by niki 8/23/2010

written by niki

And maybe *that* is your ‘Purpose’ for your existence, for YOU to ‘feel’ all these ‘sensitive’ things. to USE it, to HARNESS it, and to connect with similar, like-minded souls (you will find! as already proven in this website, of how you can seemingly relate with each other here.)

Also, somebody said it right here that sometimes all you really deeply need is just this piece of information(s),..that might open your mind, and change your perspective when viewing this earthly Life (internet is great. use it).
I will share some of my ‘findings’ that I’ve found during my life-journey, and really wish/hope it could perhaps provide […]

8/23/2010 0 comment

To everybody here: the ‘banding idea’ and other interesting findings!

by niki 8/20/2010

written by niki

Dear everybody,
I am so sorry that I was late, and didn’t make any post/comment as I’ve promised last night..
Something urgent suddenly come up in real life, and I have to do it first…although not like I have much energy in doing it..because my mind is so totally fixated into this website,..and especially the VERY RECENT posts that imo were just so mind-boggling with constant ‘new findings’ and the interconnected-ness with everybody here on one another! and frankly to be honest,..at this current point now, I don’t seem to get interested in ANY other things in my real life, than knowing all these ‘theories […]

8/20/2010 5 comments

Indigo children (everybody please read)

by niki 8/20/2010

written by niki

This is so frustrating!
I’ve posted a long reply to the most recent thread-post by DMass here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/my-feelings-are-starting-to-scare-me/
and somehow this ‘awaiting moderation‘ thing suddenly showed up again, and hence my post is still pending! (what is this ‘awaiting moderation’ thing anyway??..and I’ve also noticed that some of you said your posts are mysteriously gone??.. wow…this is really bad!..is there any way the Mods or Admin of this website to know or fix it?..)

I actually am composing a thread about putting the ‘banding together’ idea into real thing. and also to put together ALL excellent ideas & ‘alternative theories’ here.

But then I figure that due […]

8/20/2010 21 comments

What to do?

by michael16 8/19/2010

written by michael16

I stumbled upon this site one night, and I have been lurking for months. I feel it’s time to share my story – to try and talk and relate to someone. I’m sixteen years old, and these feelings ARE real. I’m not your ‘average’ teenager. I have been feeling depressed and suicidal for many months now and it’s getting to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve had a good upbringing – I go to school, have a job, money, a car etc. Everything a teenager could want right? But at the end of the day it is all meaningless, it […]

8/19/2010 2 comments

All of us might be conspired all this time!!

by niki 8/17/2010

written by niki

To everybody in this website,

I don’t know if this is a serious coincidence,
or it’s perhaps really true that my ‘energy’ has just drawn upon *something* very important to read!
I don’t know….I mean, I used to NOT believe completely about the ‘Law of Attraction’ (LOA) and ‘The Secret’ stuff, that basically talks about how everything we see in this world physically is really just a result of our MIND, the Energy.

But lo and behold,
I know that thorought my life I’ve actually experienced quite many ‘strange’ things/events that seems ‘too good’ to just be a ‘mere coincidences’ (and I would bet that all these […]

8/17/2010 4 comments

Dear everybody, my fellow human beings, I think I’ve just got a sudden ‘revelation’ that I need to share about why we are so fucked up (please read!!)

by niki 8/16/2010

written by niki

Dear everybody,
my friends, a.k.a my fellow worthy and beloved human beings…

I want all of you here to please bare with me again for just about 5-10 minutes reading what I’ve found to be a sudden ‘eureka/revelation’ moment, thanks to actually vbenja’s thread that asks and ponder about “life” here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/life-9/Â Â (it’s amazing of how ‘connected’ we can be, if we *choose* to, isn’t it?…)

And without getting too long, I will start right-away of what I’ve found,
hopefully what I’m going to share here will also ‘connect’ with all your hearts, your innermost souls…..that truly makes us what “humans“.

Here it goes :

Have you (we […]

8/16/2010 1 comment

Splinter’s case: is humanity and mankind hopeless?…

by niki 8/14/2010

written by niki

Some of the thoughts & responses have really reshaped my perspective on life, humanity, truth, and pain.
But unfortunately, I got so depressed again at how humanity & mankind in REALITY are progressing.
I just looked at the latest update regarding Splinter’s story, and my chest suddenly feels so heavy, that I can’t explain it by mere words. Even I have such a very HARD time to sit in front of computer, and write another reply/comment,..and especially fueled with some unfortunate ‘flame wars’ here showed me of how differing each person’s perspective is,..and it makes me eventually ponder, think, and ask this ultimate question, that […]

8/14/2010 19 comments

Isn’t posting & discussing in this website is a CHANGE already?

by niki 8/10/2010

written by niki

ThisÂ thought just suddenly occur to me.
For those of you who feel so much apathy and hopeless & pessimistic with how our current world is, and that you somehow feel hopeless & helpless to do anything about it, in other words, you feel that you just can’t “change the world”, the current fucked-up state/condition of the world we’re living in, no matter how much you’re aching for it,..butÂ honestly, has it ever occur to youÂ all that, even by posting and discussing in this website, has already created a CHANGE, even though it started only a little, and as an “idea”. But like the premise of the […]

8/10/2010 3 comments

I will dedicate a special gift for all of you here..(pls read)

by niki 8/10/2010

written by niki

There are two things I hope and I wish to say, and share,Â with all my deepest heart and sincerity to all of you here:

First, is that I’m a musician/composer,..
and after finding this website (about last week) accidentally, and then reading all the posts & comments, and mostly they’re just so strikingly similar, in such a honest, very sincere, real,..and even beautiful ways,..I have thus vow and swear today, that I will do my BEST, using my whatever utmost talents & passion in Music,…to create and compose a song, specially dedicated to all of you here.

Please give me around one month, at the very least, […]

8/10/2010 2 comments

there IS still Hope,..try to find it!

by niki 8/9/2010

written by niki

I am a Christian who has turned into an agnostic (and up to this day, I still honestly can’t find a single valid, reasonable reason to go back into ‘pure’ Christianity again,..though I’m always remain open-minded),
and from my own observations & experiences, & also seeing others, I can tell you this:

God, whatever It is, usually means HOPE.
People need hope, to keep living in this world. otherwise, he’ll find many & any kind of reason to end his/her life (because he/she feels NO hope anymore).
It’s that simple.

Now although I’m very much still questioning whether God is a “He (Him)” (and why does it […]

8/9/2010 4 comments

for those who wants 2012 (or end of world) to quickly come

by niki 8/9/2010

written by niki

I have to tell you that I feel you all who wants 2012 to really come true (no matter how much “B.S” you might think about this. we’re talking about FEELING here, not THINKING scientifically or whatever!).

Seriously, when Iâ€™m just fucking tired with whatâ€™s happening in this so-called â€œreal worldâ€ and all its â€˜uglyâ€™ hypocrisy, backstabbing, cheats, tricks, lies & more lies, pain, and how â€˜hopelessâ€™ humanity in general might seem,..it becomes VERY easy for me to hope, even PRAY for 2012 to really come,
for the comet or meteor to come and wipes like 3/4th of the Earth or whatever, to make these goddamn […]

8/9/2010 2 comments

enough

by andi8172 8/7/2010

written by andi8172

i think its time when i tried before i was drunk both times doing this sober gives me a chance of getting it right.iv been on so many sites trying to make friends but noone wants to know me and i dont blame them i think everybody hates me because i bring them down.im already dreading the thought of another xmas alone and new years eve praying someone will call and wish me happy new year but they never do so i just aswell not be around anymore i should have finished this off along time ago ive tried the samaritans all they do is […]

8/7/2010 4 comments

Fidgety

by Pathos Angel 8/6/2010

written by Pathos Angel

So lets jump right on in… Im a 20 year old drop out, been on probation for the past three years… Ive got two girlfriends right now which is completley out of charactor for me because im a gentleman for the most part, but anymore i dont care, i feel my relationships are going to end the same way they always do me being left for someone else cause im too nice or too caring, or just not a piece of shit! So why not try n mix things up and Im tired.
Everything seems like its about to just explode or implode or some […]

8/6/2010 1 comment

Suicide? don’t die yet (sharing some glimpses of Hope)

by niki 8/4/2010

written by niki

I’ve just happened to come across this site, and seen all the replies here,
and I can honestly totally relate with everything you all said here.
In fact, these are all the main reasons, or my main feelings, that I’ve browsed around & eventually found this place!

I hate the fact that:
1. The world is mostly run by the riches & powerful, but not necessarily the most genuine kind of people, ‘cuz there’re often just way too many dirty politics & trickery for one honest, genuine person (or leader) to cope for! and it can just becomes way too much to handle!
although I’m not […]

8/4/2010 2 comments

One more step.

by meliaming 8/4/2010

written by meliaming

That’s all it would take. One more step.

I don’t expect anyone to reply this, nor do I expect anyone to read this. I just want to vent out feelings I haven’t been able to tell anyone in my life right now.

It’s been a year since I last thought about suicide. Since then, I’ve moved to Australia for college and I’ve met so many new people. I thought this was to be my new start. A fresh beginning from the previous year where friends turned against me. Dispose of my jealous feelings I had towards even my close friends – start anew. I was right, for […]

8/4/2010 2 comments

am i crazy ?

by killmeplease 7/25/2010

written by killmeplease

i dont know what to do anymore.i cutt.i have tried to kill myself.i have don so many things.&& lied so many times.everyone at school hates me.&& they do so many mean things.its all me.i wish i could just die.just drop dead.replace richies life with mine.he was killed.&&& didnt wanna be.butt i wanna be.just please switch me & richie.please please please! i lie.im ugly.& fat.I JUST WANNA DIE !

7/25/2010 3 comments

It’s Become A Dream

by Codename Dreamer 7/18/2010

written by Codename Dreamer

I have looked through many of these suicide stories. Notes, left from people who were in their final approach to their decisions of suicide. I have read stories of people who have lost loved ones and can no longer go on. I have read about those who have come to the conclusion that suicide is the only way to exit the pain. I decided to share my story. I am now 18. It has been over a year and a half since I had reached my limit.

A few days before my 17th birthday, I had been thinking. You see at the time, I had done […]

7/18/2010 3 comments

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