I feel like my suicide is gonna happen this week
I’m new to this website and I really just want to let my feelings out.
So first off, I’m 17 years old and a girl (I know, I know, you’re probably expecting me to whine but hear me out)
Maybe about 5 months ago I was hospitalized because I tried to kill myself. I had depression for a long time and was even diagnosed, but my parents didn’t believe me until they saw me passed out on my bed with slits on my thighs and an empty bottle of sleeping pills at my nightstand. Even then, my dad thinks depression doesn’t exist (‘Fake it till you make […]
I’ve had depression since the age of 12. It was really stupid as a kid. I’d cry, cuddle with my nana and miss school and cry more.
As I grew up, it just got worse. The more I learned about the realities of the world, the ugliness of people, the more I spiralled.
It doesn’t help that I got good grades and have shitty parents.
My father is a wife beater but has stopped recently because I punched him the last time.
My mother is a compulsive liar and is bipolar.
If you add the two, it’s really tough. To make things worse, my siblings and I are talented and […]
Hello People
i was searching for the word suicide and bumped into this website, and it seems helpful to speak about my suicidal tendencies.
Ok, so i believe in reincarnation, so for me suicide will not get me what i want , which is total non existence , it is like living in an prison and sentenced to live in it for eternity , if i die i reincarnate in that same prison over and over . And you beg for your own execution , but souls are eternal and can’t be destroyed with any weapon.
So, my aim is not the earthly suicide ( killing your body ) , […]
Today I’m sharing with you guys what I did to end my life, maybe it will help you to know what won’t work for a suicide plan.
My first attempts were some knows classic stuf, cutting, Overdosing painkillers, Injecting some poisonous liquids, drowning etc …
My last attempt was finishing a full bottle of scotch whisky and a lot of amisulpride pills, I was taken to hospital and all I got is 4 days of pain over all my body.
For now I’m searching for 2 helium tanks, I see a lot of poeple fail at suicide by helium because of exhaling Co2, but after all I should […]
Hi all,
this is a guy who is alive only because he’s not got the courage to commit suicide so far.
You may say I’m a weak person only to have such a thought in my head, but I’m sure even if I tell you the story you’ll not understand it, but know it.
I’m 19 now, freshman in college. I have let go of my studies for months now though I used to be one of the bests back in school.
I have always been lonely in my life, even during the short periods that others thought I was not anymore, I felt that loneliness inside me. I […]
To be honest with you, I don’t remember the first time I did it. I never really cut at first.. It was more like scratching. I used to get my key and scratch my arm with it. It hurt… That was all I wanted at the time. That began over a year ago.
Why did I do it, you may ask..? Well I felt so helpless, I had no control over anything in my life and I thought that it would help, but it was more than that too! I felt numb. Nothing made me feel anything, but when I scratched myself, I felt pain… And […]
It’s hard for me to even type this out, to be honest. I’m a very private person, one who rarely lets people in on the darker aspects of my life.
All my life, I have felt worthless, pathetic, weak. People have abused, violated, and abandoned me without any regard. And I let them because I am too weak to do anything about it or unable to.
Suicide crosses my mind at least nine times every week. It infests my mind when I’m not even paying attention and always makes sure to make its presence loud and clear when my situations are bleak. My chest constantly feels heavy except […]
My father committed suicide when I was 5 years old leaving me, my 9 year old sister and mum devastated. I believe that he thought we would be better off without him and he was doing us a favour. I’m 17 years old now and I still break down and cry for the father I never had. Suicide is selfish, if a person has children on this Earth it is their responsibility to protect, guide and support them. Not having a father has affected me in countless way. My father wasn’t there to teach me how to ride a bike, to pick me up when […]
I never knew about this website, but I’m glad that I came across it. The thoughts in my head have been getting worse and worse, but I keep trying to push through. Sometimes, it’s just easier to think “what would it be like if I were dead?” It all stared when I was just 11 years old. Here I am, 21 years old, and still fighting. When I was 11, life literally SUCKED. I attended a private school, and it’s true, the kids who go to school there are complete and total BITCHES. Just in 6th grade, I was bullied non stop. I was told […]
I can’t rest, my mind in total chaos. My emotions are doing what they do best, running a muck through my veins flowing to my heart choking me with every thought. I am lost unable to process my thoughts. My voice is gone, I’m choking am I alive? My thoughts wrapped around my throat. As my thoughts continue to flow, the choking keeps growing. My heart beat it’s slowing, my body emotionally dying….
my soul is broken. I’m so lost. The voices inside my head won’t rest. My tears shed like rain. The storm is wild and cannot be contained. My heart is full of so much pain. I want it all to end. My life is worthless, I am worthless. God why did you create me? Why am I here? Everyday I hope and pray to be taken from this world. 4 suicide attempts all failed. I can’t even kill myself right. My last wish is to leave this world in peace no pain. I’ve had enough, I’m choking on my thoughts. I am lost!!! Help someone […]
I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m fed up.
I’m 20 years old and a junior in college and I literally don’t have a life. I don’t socialize much. I isolate myself; however, I’m not happy when I do so. I feel lonely and sad.
When I’m alone, my whole life runs through my mind.
When I was in the 12th grade my father got diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said he had only a few months left. My dad fought hard and stood strong. A year later. The day I was getting ready to leave to start college he passed away. I was completely heartbroken. Like all the positivity in life got […]
This is my depression story. The following is a shortened version of my journals. I was 13 years old when I wrote them.
Journal 2013
On march 2, 2013 I decided to “get better” I don’t know hep else to put it xD
on March 3rd, 2013 I told my mum about the (kinda) cutting but not the suicidal thoughts
4th of March: “I am not happy nor sad right now, I feel almost detached from everything” “I am happy for Nicole (she was my best friend in 7-8th grade) but it feels like everyone is moving on while I’m left behind…I feel invisible, a […]
Its hard when you don’t really have anyone to turn to, it can be a lonely existence
Over the last year, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut when I’m around the people in my life, because I know they are no longer interested in what I have to say, or how messed up I feel, but I guess I can’t blame them, but the one thing that makes me angry is when they say ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘I’ve been through the same thing’ its not a competition but if each person suffered the same, one treatment would work for everyone
Lately I’ve formed […]
i told you i couldn’t hang out, not that i didn’t want to. You wanted to party, i wanted to die. You thought i was happy and so did i. but little did we know happy wasn’t for me. i wanted to cry. i wanted to die. there was always something in me asking me why. i didn’t know what to say but then i realized that it was everything about me. My hair, my eyes, my legs, arms, my stomach, my chest, back, feet, my hands. It was the way i talked, the way i walked. i never thought i was good enough. i […]
Still pretending to fix something now, as I have quite literally given up. However, I am a man of my word and I won’t kill myself until June 22nd. Only recently has the pain of depression (and yes, major depression can cause pain) been constant. Previously it has been on and off, but now I can’t shake it. I won’t have any regrets when I kill myself, because it won’t be as painful as my life is now.
Hi all,
This is my first time stumbling upon this site and after reading several posts feel like maybe talking to you guys could help me connect with someone who understands what I’m, well, we’re, all going throug. These past 2 years have been extremely rough for me. I went to Rutgers University after I graduated high school, I’m now 20 so it’s been two years since I left. I didn’t even make it more than 2 months and I didn’t know what was wrong. I was never bullied, nothing ever happened to me, but ever since I started life after high school graduation I’ve felt […]
Hello all,
I’ve never posted on this site before, but I felt the need to make an account and make one. Â To all that is reading this; to all that feels like no one is there; to all that has contemplated life over and over again and feels the need to end things; to anyone that just needs to share their feelings to… I’m here. Â I have felt what rock bottom feels like and I have been in and out of depression, contemplating suicide a few times in my life. Â I will keep this short and sweet: Â the pain may seem never-ending, but it eventually DOES […]
I know what you’re thinking. ‘It’s another girl trying to stop us from thinking about suicide’. ‘Nothing she’s going to say is going to stop me’. You’re right. There is nothing I can say or do to stop you from this. I don’t know what you’ve all been through; I definitely have no right to tell you that you shouldn’t commit suicide. But what I can tell you is that you’re not crazy. You’re not exaggerating. But most of all, you’re not alone. You’re probably thinking, ‘I’ve heard all this, there’s no point, she doesn’t understand’. You’re right, I don’t understand. But there is something […]