Hi, my names Cathy and im 14 years old. 😉
I was cyber bullied a year ago. Never thought it would ever happen to me. Since then i have very low steam on my self. I have very strong depression. I had looked at the world very different then. I would be one of those people who would mind their own business and just be happy for who they are. But.. I don’t think i will ever return to being that girl. One of the reason to this are because…. the bully goes to my school. ;L I see her everyday, she is in my […]
Tag:
Suicide
I feel so useless all the time. I really can’t do anything right. Or anything at all. I see everyone I know has a talent,or are at least smart in a way. But me? No. I can’t dance like everyone else,I have no rhythm. I can’t sing. I have a deep voice for a girl. I’m no good with school work anymore. I get distracted easily now. It’s so irritating. I never want to wake up in the mornings because I feel like there’s no need. Nothing’s going to change. I really want to kill myself. Like seriously. I get so frustrated sometimes and nothing […]
Fifteen days ago was the last time I cut.
Fifteen days ago was when I almost committed suicide.
Thirty days or so ago was when I told my two best friends I cut. Well I didn’t exactly tell them, they already thought I did because they saw my wrist. But one day in gym class, one of my best friends made a reference to another one of our friends who cuts and I added, “So do I.” She, of course, freaked out and repeatedly asked me why I did it and all the other normal questions someone who doesn’t understand would ask. For some reason though, I couldn’t […]
Today in class we had a group discussion about suicide, and all I kept hearing people say is how selfish suicide is. I really just wanted to blurt out “I’ve been suicidal for 2 years off and on now. Does that make me selfish?” But of course I didn’t. They talked about how stupid it is for someone to even think about harming themselves. I didn’t agree with anything they said. They were all being so ignorant. They laughed at the people who had killed themselves. They said that people kill themselves just for attention…. I wonder if they understand how it is to feel […]
im tired of my life, im tired of pain and the bullying =[ ive had a bad week.
i feel alone and suicide keeps coming into my head. how do i keep that thought out???
All my “friends” ditched me this halloween. So I thought I would tag along with my mom and siblings when they went. Turns out my mom picked today of all days to be a total ***** and left me crying in the car while they went trick or treating. I feel so alone! My highschool shut down point blank in the middle of the school year, so now I’m getting homeschooled be my mom. I hardly ever see anyone and its depressing. Normally its ok, but its times like this when I really upset and angry that I feel like cutting, or perhaps suicide. Its the […]
These two girls started trying to have a conversation with me today. They were asking me why I was always so depressed and what they could do to help. They were being very nice. I guess they figured I wasn’t a bad guy? Who knows. Anyway…
One of the girls started talking about how she was depressed about 3 or 4Â years ago (which meant she was about 13) because she had moved from her home town to where she is now. She was talking about how she missed her friends and now she could only talk on the phone with them or communicate through the internet. […]
I told my two best friends that i think i need help and that i thought i was borderline anorexic. the first one laughed and said that it was okay, then she turned the conversation to herself. like i don’t even matter. she turned to my other friend and said ‘i cut myself the other day after not doing it for so long.’ i wanted to turn to her and say ‘yeah, well i contemplate suicide every night and you ignoring my problems because you think all anyone ever cares about is you. thanks for letting me know you want me to stay here.’
the second person i told was […]
I just had a complete meltdown. I had been thinking about suicide for the longest time. I felt like a failure, like my life wasn’t worth it. So I took some codeine pills. It made me feel like I was dead for a while. And then I just threw it all up. I fail at everything. I can’t even kill myself. Life just isn’t worth living for me. I feel so alone.
Ok so here’s my story. (Sorry if my english suck btw. Im French.)
I am 16 years old. Im good at nothing. I suck at school, I suck at sports.
I think im depressive because I dont like anything in life. Everything is too boring. I dont have a job so I just sit in my room playing computer all day in my parents basement. I have the feeling that I can’t do nothing right. Don’t have friends, never had a girlfriend. Its hard to know that your almost 17 and you never kissed a girl. I dont know what to do to get out of this […]
I’m not in a good mood today. It was a P.E day. We had to dance with boy partners and most of all of them i had was wanting to switch partners, meaning, i’m an unenthusiastic, worthless creep. I was depressed all day over one little thing. i’m so ridiculous. I wanted to cut myself all day, it was so painful to be me. These things, negative comments, just triggered me to want to kill myself. Anyway, i have a plan to. I don’t mean to give people ideas, but i just wanna know if it’ll work. One idea was to take an overdose of […]
They say it gets better, and that it won’t last forever. But  I wonder when it will start for me?
It started 3 years ago. I had heard my parents fighting, and then my dad put a gun to his head and he said no one would care if he pulled the trigger. But his 12 year old daughter was watching from the doorway, and to her it mattered very much. I never told him I saw that, so he can’t understand how much that messed me up. That year was already bad. I was bullied for my weight and I’ve never really gotten over that. […]
The mirror, the enemy of us all. I just stared. I looked at my ugly image and cried. Why am i so imperfect? i can’t bare it. Every inch of me theres some strange.. imperfection. If you asked what was wrong with me, i’d make a list of billions of things. “You’re not pretty, you are WORTHLESS!” i say to myself. I feel somewhat selfish writing this post, but i just want it to let me and everyone else know i hate myself, i bully myself. i’m not always in the mood, but i try to keep my mind off things. Watch something funny, eat […]
I know that there are so many people that have problems way worse than mine. So, please don’t judge me..
Lately, i’ve been thinking about suicide. I guess I haven’t done it yet because I’m weak and a coward.
My parents are getting a divorce after 15 years. That’s my age. It really is my fault becuase if my mom hadn’t been pregnant with me, they wouldn’t have been miserable for the last 15 years in a marriage that fell apart.
I just started a new school, moved to a new house. I’m a sophomore. On May 20, 2012 one of my bestfriends got in a wreck and […]
Hold On – Lyrics written by Christian G. Lovecraft ©2011 Sadists Ate Me Songwritingâ„¢ All Rights Reserved
by Draven666
written by Draven666
I wrote this song a year ago in hopes of saving some lives. I wrote it in loving memory of a friend who committed suicide for being gay. This is for you, Asher Brown.
Every story I have read left me in disarray
I wonder what I could say to you to make it all go away
I know your days are getting darker and colder
But someday, I’ll regret never being able to help you as I grow older
I’m trying to get you on the telephone
Just so you know you’re not alone
Chorus:
Hold on even when you feel like falling away
Give […]
My name is Christian. I’m a transgender. And this is my story…
It was at age 14 when I had first committed suicide. I had hung myself that cold December day of Christmas. I somehow woke up in a psychiatric hospital in restraints two weeks later. I screamed, cried, begging for mercy while restrained and wearing a medical restraint mask where I can no longer scream or talk. I was silenced, alone, insecure, afraid and no clue of where the fuck I was at the time.
Eventually, I was released from seclusion and restraints, talked to the doctors, explaining my situation. Weeks passed by in this godforsaken […]
all I want is for someone to ask me if I’m OK and know that I’m lying when I say that I’m fine
written by ifsomeonecared...
Life has been pretty hard lately. I’ve been really sad quite often  for pretty much no reason and I never want to get out of bed, like ever. I try doing homework and then I decide to just sit there staring or surf the web or go back to sleep. It scares me, I don’t want to feel this way. I wish I could talk to someone about the way I feel but I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can trust.
It’s worse when I’m tired, I just sit there and hardly talk at all and feel terrible and all I want is for someone […]
i have never felt this hopeless before. i just want it all to go away and i can only think of suicide. i always told myself that i would never do it however its all ive been thinking about lately. its always on my mind. i just want the pain and the hopelessness to go away. im such a failure in life. i have nothing going for me. the only reason why ive stayed this long is for my little sisters and my boyfriend other than that i would have been gone a long time ago. but right now im scared because lately i have […]
I’ve decided to put off my suicide plans for now for two reasons, the first because of a boy I like which I guess is silly,the second is my mom found my notes and that threw off any upcoming plans.
Living with depression is very hard for me, I’ve tried to understand it but you just can’t it’s unpredictable, sometimes I’m randomly crying and and sometimes I’m crying because work feels over whelming and then there’s the days I spend most of my time sleeping or surfing the internet , and any kind of relationship I had with people is ruined because  I tend to isolate […]
I still love her.. Its been several months yet I can’t stop thinking about her, I still talk to her everyday but I just smile and tell her I’m happy for her because I just want her to be happy.. But inside I wanna die.. I still cut myself regularly, think about suicide everyday, and its killing me, I can’t talk to anybody, I’m alone, I have so much self hatred for letting things happen the way they did, for letting her go, she was the only one who got me,, and I let her go,,, when we see each other she pretend not to […]