Jake walked alone after school that day. He walked in silence, his footsteps made no noise against the wet pavement. The sun was blocked out overhead, and the rain began to fall again. Jake didn’t care, he didn’t have anywhere to go anyway, if he went home he would probably get beat by his dad. He didn’t want to become like his dad. An abusive drunk, who was never sober at home. He wanted to be like his uncle. He wanted to go to college and become an engineer. he wanted to go somewhere in life and get out of this city of hell. All […]
I rather die now rather then later, i have thought of death since i was 5 or so and thought of ways to go to do the deed, i am 24 now . I was married for 3 years to my highschool sweetheart. I work at a hospital and love the place. I am mostly known as a bright , outgoing happy go lucky girl, but I much rather die. There is this pain that I am always surrendered to, a feeling of almost bliss when I surrender that yes its my time to die. I feel calm and the pain seems to make since […]
I will wait…
I will wait for the day,
And these miles of snow,
Will be melting away.
I sleep under black moon,
And wait for the rain,
Hoping I don’t sink
When this flood breaks again.
Through my windows it’s pouring
And this end seems so slow,
Like a thousand cigarettes
Under melting snow.
These white tears of winter,
Fucking melting away,
But this dead body stays there,
On my sheets,it just lays here…
My life feels like I’m walking on a rock road.. Always cold and dark. Never knowing if I’m going to trip. When I do, I hesitate to get back up. Afraid of tripping and falling again. I always get back up though. Some falls take longer to stand up from.. Something keeps me going down this road.. The hope that the sun is going to wink at me and give me light to see the obstacles in the road. I don’t know how long it’ll take and maybe I’ll never see it in this lifetime. Someday though, whether I’m dead or alive, I’ll see the […]
It doesn’t matter to the sun. If I go or if I stay. The sun will rise like its just another day. It doesn’t matter to the sun no it only matters to me. It doesn’t matter to the world if I jump or if I drown. It will just keep turning round, turning round like it did the day before. It doesn’t matter to the world no. It only matters to me. It doesn’t matter to the moon if I cry tonight alone. That moon will just keep hanging round, hanging round, shine on some other woman’s dreams. You see it doesn’t matter to […]
Here, I wanted to share this with you.
While you stay, sit and bask in the sun.
It is my favorite place to go.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mL05yyBoGJk/S-bepBQnXpI/AAAAAAAAAGM/2XH_OXfA8bc/s1600/123.jpg
Please take this with you, & also pass it on to others.
“Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise people at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good people, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the […]
is it any wonder that so many opt out of grinding for gold and leveling up for the sake of leveling up?
I’m so bored of it, and it’s my own fault. Life can be great if you’re open to it, but I’m not. I’m so afraid of people, coming into contact with them. I get debilitating diarrhea when I’ve gotten too anxious thanks to my IBS. I want to smile and laugh and be merry, but 1) I’m afraid and 2) I think people in general are dull. I’m 26 so I can’t have met that many people, but I’m already burnt out from the […]
“And I congratulated the dead who had already died rather than the living who were still alive. So better than both of them is the one who has not yet come to be, who has not seen the calamitous work that is being done under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 4:2,3
The days for me are far too long
I am weak and you are strong.
My sadness hidden with all the shame
You and I are not the same.
As the sun rises you clap your hands
All I do is breathe and stand
As I awake from my exit,
And wonder why it did not fix it.
I close my eyes
Imagine a place
Where loved ones lost are face to face
The days for me are far too long
All energy is long but gone.
So I take the pain away
With the medicine the doctor gave.
My heart slows down
The pumping […]
maybe, i think i finally had a good day. yes i had things push me down but for once i took my mind off the negatives and soaked up some sun and had fun today. yeah finally a good day XD
I’ve been to the point where i would sit in my room alone crying for hours. ive looked into ways on how to kill myself. ive spit on every one of my friends names. ive been completely depressed. but i got better. i made it better by myself. i have a mother who doesnt get it, doesnt get me, fights with me worse than a teenager. an older sister with a complete anger issue and temper and a little brother who doesnt quite get life right now. a father that tore our family apart for a girl 2 years older than my older sister. it […]
I want to live.   After 8 years of pain and self abuse, I am starting to see the sun again, and it feels good to feel again.  So glad that I found your site, I think that the people who focus on life vs death are the ones who most want to live. Sometimes I feel that a lot of others just go through the motions, or get numb. I want to experience. As I read through some of the things you have posted, I was amazed […]
I know this is stupid but I had to make a poem for english and I worked for days on this becaue I tried so hard not to write about anything too deep since we had to explain the meaning being conveyed in the poem… So I guess if you’re feeling sad search or draw or think up a rainbow because rainbows make me happy and this is what happens to me when I see one… And also just to let you know this is a scene I set out of me walking to school…
As I search for that rainbow
Vengeful clouds devour the sky
Chill infects my […]
They say you are shaped by the bad experiences. That what does not kill you makes you stronger. That all good things come to those who wait. Don’t wait for good things to come you must fight to get what you want. Travel the path less trodden. There is a fork in the road. A narrow path, and a wide winding path. Choose the most exciting.
I have heard so many contridictating sayings in my life that it can make one explode with uncertainty. But that’s where my experiences come in.
I’ve trodden forward before. I’ve survived bullying, teasing, physical abuse from peers. Verbal abuse from my […]
I had a dream one night.  I was with my friends getting pretty stoned outside on a bright, clear happy day.  I took a hit and looked up into the clear, beautiful  sky as I inhaled, but as I exhaled I began to feel out of place and out of person.  I tried to move, and I did, but at the same time I didn’t.  It was as if I was out of my rotting flesh cage, but my vision wasn’t coming with my spirit.  All that I could see was the clear blue sky… I began to panic.  My unbound spirit was being anchored […]
I crave the touch of friendly hands.
My bitter soul is searching for
The warmth of love in frozen lands.
The wind bites though me as I search
The tundra of this lonely life.
I crave the touch of friendly hands.
I huddle to the fire and think
No sun-scorched desert could replace
The warmth of love in frozen lands.
Like the robin with fractured eggs,
Or the hound who howls for his man,
I crave the touch of friendly hands.
Frost cracks open my naked face.
I wish a long embrace would give
The warmth of love in frozen lands.
There is nothing […]
I’m 18, and some days I do not know why I am alive. I have considered death when I’ve been at my weakest. I’ve wanted to go to the beach drunk & walk out into the water as far as I could go and just let go of everything. Let the waves take me away. I’ve wanted to overdose on my Zoloft. And when I really can’t handle anything I take a lighter to my left arm and burn myself. my arm is scarred up now. I HAD a boyfriend from April to this Sunday. We’ve been on and off for the last three months. […]