I just need someone who understands the struggle we go through. I’m ready to exit and have my plan just figuring out when to execute it. Getting my affairs in order. Anyone in my region, Midwest US, that might care to talk about things?
Tag:
talk
I’m new to the site and post only when I feel like shit. I’m Tyler, 16 and desperate for someone to talk to. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been extremely shy and have never been able to make friends. The people I associate with at school try to make me feel included, but I don’t have the fuckin balls to ask them anything. I live in a small town in Michigan and I love it, but I need motivation and support at this stage in my life. I applied to a job and my parents are somewhat supportive but from my point of view, […]
extremely depressed. I hide it in so that nobody knows. I don’t want anyone around me to know because It would just be a burden to them. Lost the love of my life and now have nobody. No one to talk to. No one to tell how terrible I’m feeling. Just alone.
So, long time no see… My last post was in April. I don’t really know why I never made another post. I guess I just didn’t want to talk about my problems anymore than I have to. But, over the past few months i’ve learned that talking about your problems is the best way to solve them. For months and months I assumed that if I didn’t talk about my problems and ignore them they would go away. Unfortunatley, thats’s not the case. So here I am about to talk about my problems (even though I really don’t want to). For 9 months I was […]
Suicide is stigmatized as a quick sudden choice. Not for me. I roll my plans and deadline over and over in my head. The biggest question haunting me. Should I tell him? Will he feel better if he knows and can ask questions first? Should I ask my family to keep it a secret from him? Hasn’t his life seen enough death already?
I scour the internet for advice and come upon articles laying out tired hatred for narcissistic, manipulative exes pulling the suicide card. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to manipulate anyone. I just want to talk to my best […]
I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember – A Fake! Walking around…all smiles, but deep down I want to scream.I know, I know…gotta see the glass as half full and all. But then I ask why? I haven’t been suicidal but I’m also not “living the life”. I can try to pick myself up but at the back of my head I ask why. Its tiring. It seems I prefer to be a zombie. I dont have to talk that way. I don’t have to put up with pretenses. People pretending to care. People commenting on trivial shit because […]
I’d actually managed to forget what hollow meant, but hello– again– emptiness.
It’s not just that, of course; when it rains it pours.
Empty and useless and harmful.
Stupid and weak and obnoxious.
Yes, hi there–
Tired and wired and failing.
Well, it can’t all be smooth sailing I suppose–
Painful and wasteful and clumsy.
Willful and pitiful and stumbling.
Okay, sure, yes, but–
Just look how fast you’re crumbling.
Hey wait a minute, I’m–
Don’t you ever get tired of denying it? You’re wasting your time, just give in and start crying again.
But–
From your head to the tips of your toes, from your blood to your brain to your bones, you are empty.
No, no, […]
Strange people
In a red land
Trying to talk to me
If they can
Wire tears
At my throat
I’m stumbling
As I cross Their moat
Banging against the door
Bleeding out
How much more?
Slowly I rise
As I realize
Running away
Too far
My feet are raw
I’m gonna keep running
The cobbles break my toes
Their ambulance
It grabs me, breaks my nose
They don’t care
They have ensconced me in darkness
Chained, I metamorphose
Into a creature malignant and dyeing
Breaking free
And searching around
Bloody bones, prisoners abound
Indiscriminately I tear through
Not knowing or caring
Except about you
The […]
Hey
To be honest I don’t even know what I’m doing here or why. I think I just need to vent and maybe, just maybe, be “understood”. I don’t mean to sound like a childish teenager who no one understands and no one ever would, I just don’t know how else to phrase it.
I used to be really depressed, for 3 years actually, although that is mostly blown over now. Some things though never seem to go away, how I act and behave is still highly influenced by those defining 3 years leading up to my late teens. I get annoyed by people, and push people away, […]
I was feeling pretty suicidal lately,and i cant call or talk to anyone in real life, so i tried emailing the samaritans. Ends with me having an emotional breakdown and shutting them away.
So i decided to try crisis chat instead. *clicks first webpage that popped up* -this service is available in US territories only- No.
*clicks second webpage* -this service requires steady broadband connection- No.
*clicks third webpage*-our operators are currently offline-Urgh.
*clicks fourth webpage*-this service is available in US territories only- ARGHHHHH
*clicks like a hundredth webpage* hey its online! -connects-
me: hi
Operator:hi, whats your problem?
Me: im depressed for no reason at all, and i want to die
Operator:have you […]
You used me
I didn’t mind
At the time
But now
You don’t even
Say hello
You never even
Said goodbye
For me
It will never be over
Because you didn’t
Give me the chance
To let go
And So I sit here
Hopelessly waiting
For you
I keep trying to talk
But you just turned away
And left me
Why did you have to go?
Why didn’t you let me?
Hi, My name is stefan and I’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my
life and caused pain to a lot of people. I?m absolutely sure I will end
up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other
people that know for sure they will end up in hell.
I?m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So
please answer me by email. my email address is: stefan@deds.nl
Best regards, Stefan.
I think I may have cancer. I found what could be a lump. Of course it could be lots of others things. Or nothing at all. The rational thing would be to get it checked out. But a part of me thinks ‘If it is cancer, then that’s for the best. Let it spread.’ It would be a way out. I wouldn’t have to commit suicide. I wouldn’t have to do that to my parents. They wouldn’t be left with all the anger, confusion, and bitterness that suicide brings. There’d still be grief, but they could find closure and move on. I could talk to […]
I stopped by my insurance agency and prepared my life insurance policy. My parents had one taken out in my name when I was 16, after my fireworks accident. I talked to my agent and changed the policy into my name (instead of my moms). It’s for 25,000…not much, but it should cover my debt and funeral. I was going to add another 50,000-75,000 but I would have to have an extensive medical record search and that would show my cancer, abdominal tumors, brain tumor, F.A.P, Gardner’s Syndrome, Pseudotumor Cerebri, fireworks accident, severe anxiety, severe depression, bi polar type II disorder, abdominal migraines, etc…I think […]
I think about death. I think about it all the time. I wonder what it would be like if death wasn’t just a state of being, but an actual being, and what I would say if I could sit down and talk to it. Why do you come around when you’re not wanted? Why won’t you come round when u are desperately needed? Do you have a 800 number or a help desk. Why the fuck not? Because I am this great,
Unstable
Mass of blood and stone
And no emotion that’s worth having
Has settled in my bones
My heart is an autoclave
my friend acts like she has bigger problems than everyone. I’m not discrediting her depression, but considering the fact that I used to self harm and am on 187.5 mg of antidepressants, I think she needs to step back and consider the fact that other people have problems. it’s all dandy to talk about yourself but it’s a major trigger for me to talk about it, so maybe she should save it for her therapist.
i need people who don’t define themselves by their depression.
whoops I’m totally sorry that I decided to share my opinion. I guess this site is for people who want to try […]
So, tonight I go to church with my girlfriend but she seemed to be to herself so I begin communicating to her god sister who made me highly frustrated. So, I speak to my girlfriends friend and so on. No physical contact with any of them, no intimate talk just laughing and having a good time. And every now and then I tried bringing my girfriend in but she just wouldnt. Later I text her god sister apologizing for being sensitive as she told me she was joking. Even later I text my girlfriend and let her know im home and ready to call her […]
I want to share with you a story about my father. I want to share it because my depression is deeply affected by my family relations. The pain and hurts created a Pretend Girl who has been so very sad, so very alone and so very confused. Geee, a build up like that, who could turn away? 😉 I also want to share it because I think we are here in this crazy world to help one another. I want to share my story/stories and if you see part that can help you, I’d be so glad. I am going to write, to publish, to […]
Yesterday I went to go talk to a Adult Nurse Practitioner at the mental health clinic I go to, and she asked me all the same questions as the Counselor and the guy who gave me the mental evaluation did. After talking to her for 2 hours. She told me that I had Major Depression and an Anxiety Disorder. She told me the reason I can’t sleep, and do drugs, and cut myself, all stems from the depression. She told me that she wanted me to continue to go to group, talk to the Psychologist they have there, and she wants to give me medication to […]
Hi, My name is stefan and I?m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my
life and caused pain to a lot of people. I?m absolutely sure I will end
up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other
people that know for sure they will end up in hell.
I?m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So
please answer me by email. my email address is: stefan@deds.nl
Best regards, Stefan.