This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]
Tag:
thankful
Yeah soo this is my second post .. I’m thankful for the people on here cause you guys are so nice and actually care and understand each other..
I hope that we can get to know each other and get through these times together(: well here’s some more about my dysfunctional life..: Everyone ! I SWEAR EVERYONE !
Leaves.. they just do.. they pretend that your their best friend and blah blah blah but they just play around with your feelings.. i have been through 7 friends who just leave..
and it really kills me inside .. i just try […]
This is your captain speaking. jk its actually “londi” a.k.a. the bestie of “Freeman”
umm i hacked into this website cuz i caught her looking at this nd i was like … dafuq ? then she tried to trick me with the password shit but i caught her ass. well i just wanted to let all of you ppl commenting that I’m thankful that you guys take the time to respond back to all of this stuff she posts. I hope you guys can understand what some ppl are going thru and Im glad that you are trying to help ppl get through this tough shit.
Maybe I should just give it one more shot. My last time I was successful, well a combo of drugs and the lq withdrawls, either way, it did work, so it’s my time.
The other day some dude was talking about jumping, he had rented a room. I am super afraid of heights, but I hate wasting money, so I would just HAVE TO JUMP. Vodka will give me courage, unless it makes me sick, or worse I just fall asleep. I have the money right now to get a room and alcohol. I pray, many times a day, I pray for others and that I’m […]
I don’t want to be here anymore, I’ve known this since I was very young. But only now that I’m over 40, I’m no longer living on some autopilot or “unawakened” state. I’m awake. I get it. Oneness, we are all one, the energy, the unified field, the energy of love, the veil, the illusion, the ego. Got it… I’m done now, I don’t want to force peace and happiness upon myself or others, what for? People and life keep pushing back and I want to leave now, I can’t keep this up on my own.
If I ended up here with this pitiful story, what’s […]
I’ve been bipolar since forever, but the last six months have been getting progressively worse regarding suicidal thoughts. It is literally all I think about. My problem is my kids – they are 9 and 12, and I can’t put them through the trauma I would cause. They are the only thing that makes me happy, but at the same time, I resent them because they are the only thing keeping me here. My therapist thinks I’m actually thankful for them, but I know better 😉
I wrote a poem about my kids and my situation. I’m no poet, but maybe it will resonate with someone:
Cursed […]
Some of you may know me, others.. be thankful you don’t.
This is the first of 3 post I’ll write. Then I think it’ll be time;
Like waiting on the storm to pass..
Like waiting for the go ahead to breath again..
but my breathe rest solely on you now.
So now I wait. Frozen in time.
Time no longer exists.
The fate hangs in the balance.
What will be will be.
How do you convince someone..
ask someone… “Please, do not go into the light, rather,
come back, into the darkness..”
You don’t. You cant…. but I will.
I beg you, come back into the darkness.
Here […]
i think it was the lack of sleep that sent me over…..the edge is not a quantitive thing that can be easily explained to those of whom have not been privy to the discomfort that comes with going over it….i had a ceasure and hurt my hip in the process i suppose, i was not concious for it so am therefor unsure…..i spent some time away but life has yet to leave, for which i am obliquely thankful, greatful even….
I want to just let everyone on SP know that I’m so thankful for you all! We’re all on the same boat and it’s nice to not feel so alone sometimes. I don’t feel crazy here, love ya’ll. xoxo
This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]
At some point in life, you have to take a deep breath and think twice. You have to put aside all the things that made you cry, and look at the brighter things in life. Like going home to love and support, instead of going hold to a homeless shelter because you’re poor. But always be thankful for the life that you’re livin, because you could’ve been just another abortion. Sometimes we don’t see a reason for livin’, because we are raped, abused, and mistreated. So we cut, do drugs, and become suicidal , for some of us the voices in our head can make […]
I am looking for my life partner from any FIRST NATION WORLD, where life is not as depressed as where i am presently living. I lived some years in UK and I never felt depression as i am feeling in India. I am willing to relocate and have enough money that I can buy a small house there.
Every time i read any discussion forum on depression, i get the same answer that you are not alone and somebody is always there to help you. If such a help really exist please come forward to help. I will be thankful for my whole life for such […]
So I’ve been seeing someone to help straighten me out. I’m not sure he understands fully. I have a plan, and a am willing to go through with this. I was waiting to see if things got better. My anxiety has somewhat. I should be thankful for that. I still just find relief in completing the plan. I don’t think it will mean anything for anyone. Even he said no one would give a crap. No kidding. It’s not for anyone else though. Just for me. The only thing I’ve truly ever done for myself. I am waiting patiently. I don’t have a date. I just […]
I can relate with so many of you. I grew up in a family where my father was an alcoholic and incredibly abusive. My ever step or sniffle was a possible cause for a beating if he had too much to drink. As I got older I internalized all the abuse. I attempted suicide will pills but it never worked. I used to pray every night that God would take me away. God obviously had other plans. I had a horrific case of anorexia as I tried to control my life. Not eating didn’t help…I was tiny and people treat tiny people like china, but […]
I’ve noticed something about this site. Maybe it’s not so much the site but the people behind the aliases – when someone posts here and we pick up the notion that they are serious about going through with ending their life or at the least in very significant pain and anguish we rally around them like elephants do when a pack member is in distress.
I don’t use the analogy of elephants in a negative way – in fact to the contrary. What they do is born of compassion, of high intuition and empathy; it is a matter of survival for all. Most of us are […]
I’ve hated myself for over a year now. Everything from my face to my personality makes me want to cringe. And it makes me feel so lonely, as if there will never be anyone who loves me because I can’t even love myself.
It makes me feel as if I deserve to die, as if I deserve the hell-hole that is depression. I’ve dug myself deep into a hole and I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to look at the mirror and not cry at the reflection that stares back at me.
How is it possible to feel so lonely and sad […]
(I realise that all of them are bad in one way or another) but I want to know specific ones I should definitely avoid. I’m going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and the nurse told me that because of my assessment results I will most likely be prescribed antidepressants, so I want to come in prepared. I would be very thankful if any of you could advice me on this; I don’t want to get side-effects that will make me feel worse than I already do.
I don’t know how many times I’ve started to type. “H-E-“, No! Stop! People have their own problems and worries. Why should they stop to help me? Would I stop to help me? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard my inner voice scream with the intensity of a million suns. Many people read this post and think, “Oh, it’s just another chick asking for attention.” I honestly wish that were the case.
The darkness is getting darker, and the sun has faded away. I no longer see light, just softer grey’s. My hope has flown away with birds. I’ve cut communication. I can no […]
Simply put, I think it’s all crap. Not the things, good and bad, that have happened in my life thus far. Heavens no, that won’t do at all. What’s crap is that people sincerely believe that I should be “happy” that I’m alive. I was given a life (that I never asked for, by the way), and I now it’s apparently mandatory for me to be thankful for that fact. I’m not here to blame my parents for being arrogant pricks and assuming that the child they created would be happy with this “gift of life” that he never asked to receive. Blaming others for […]
I’m thankful for a place where you can vent about the darkness of the soul,
and the tragic sufferings of life.
I am truly thankful for the responses.
I had this idea in my head about how much worse things could get in just one day,
but it works the other was just the same.
If you must go know it’s ok,
and if you must stay again know it’s ok.
I hope you all have the ability to dream,
and the fortune of friends.