I’m afraid of my exam. 2 months more. I feel I wanna suicide. I may get bad grades. I’m little weak. If I fail my 1st time advanced exam is that the end of my future success. Please help. I can’t make my parents sad either with my bad grades. I’m suicidal. Your comments are highly appreciated.
It’s weird knowing I’m not going to make it past June. I’m not even sure what day, I’m thinking around early-mid June. Ideally anywhere from the 3rd-18th. I’ve always been alone in life and I’m going to be alone in death. I definitely don’t feel worthy of God’s time. I’ll learn from the experience and move on if an afterlife exists. I’m not doing anything different until then. I’m still just reading, hanging out with my dog, walking around, and praying for others. Lately I’ve talked with distant relatives at a family type event (I usually skip going) and it wasn’t really fun at all. […]
Hopefully this is not the end but it seems to be getting closer. I never thought I would be the type to quit the fight. However after 46 years it is getting harder to hang on. My depression and anxiety have spiraled so low that there seems like no light at the end of the tunnel.
People always say what about the friends and family you would be devastating, but what worth to them am I when the limits of my abilities is making dinner a night or two a week. My poor spouse has to work and go to school so she can get extra […]
Finally a light at the end of the tunnel, a painless, definite and cheap way to go…
This is the beginning of the end…please something speed the journey
hello everybody.
what would you do if…?
your partner wanted to go his own way, live his own way, cut all the links with people he has known and live as a hermit, wanderer in the forests far away from the human noise?
He was just about to do it when we first met. He’s a man-hater and says he could live without people happily. He despises the whole system, machinery, life full of bans, laws, taxes and doctors.
He often reminds me of his wish and lately, I have been feeling worthless and an idea came to my mind: If I weren’t here, he could have fulfilled his […]
Happy weed day. Weather self inflicted or natural the end is coming!!! Tick fucking tock:-)
So tired of feeling this way… when will it end
You know, it’s kind of sick how I predicted my own death.
I knew this year would be the end of me.
Acceptance letters already went out and rejection letters are just starting to come out.
I haven’t received one acceptance letter.
I know the program I applied to ran out of space.
I already know what the generic email will say.
I know it’s all over.
I’ve already come to terms with death. And yes, I know how selfish this all is. I know some depend on me. I know I have responsibilities.
But my suicide is long overdue. I held on to hope, and I have failed […]
I’m having a break down
And I’m feeling like shit
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m about to reach the end
I need help.
It’s funny how the Human mind is the closer it gets to the end. I constantly have to remind myself of what’s going to happen and the gravity of it all just wont set in. my mind cant perceive life after death. It’s pretty crazy.
Silence is the keystone in my life. It is the builder, the modifier, and the end result. It is the constant. It is a bit like Zero. Anything multiplied by It becomes It. It is undefined in division. It is the representation of Nothing, but It has more meaning than almost any other thing.
Everything returns to Silence. How can Nothing be so prevalent? How can Nothing be so important? Humanity chases the Silence of past generations and declares It history. Humanity chases the secrets hidden in the Silence of space. We always end up in Silence, one way or another. Perhaps It is the proper […]
This is probably the first time that I’ve ever posted somewhere about the issues regarding life‚ hey I’m sure everyone has them‚ but I’m atthe verge of contemplating ending it all.
My childhood was kinda great‚ until the point Ialmost got molested by a guy my dad worked for at the age of 10 thankfully I got the idea what he was “doing”. Another instance was where a distant older cousin she did molest me a little but I’m not sure its like a vague memory I’ve trapped which comes back only in bits I was a 11 year old boy then. I am the youngest […]
I have had some rough days and nights. One night I came to my limit! I was worn out, exhausted at dealing with all my depression, anxiety, fears, anger…etc by MYSELF! I called my crisis line and got a guy that when I talk to him, I do not feel comfort. I decide, as he answers, I will tell him I only needed to tell someone how sad I was, how worn out I was and that was all. He goes into a speech trying to give me advice and I tell him, I am not looking for advice, I just want to share that feeling so […]
i realized i am not alone with my slightly suicidal feelings, loneliness, and sadness. If worst comes to worst and there is no afterlife, at least there is peace at the end right? And if there is a heaven, I think God would open his arms after us suffering so greatly. its rough, but hey, thats the truth. last year i dealt with some pretty rough stuff, and i hope it may get better. I learned alot about my illness, and realize there are many others out there with things, and are too poor to have them fixed. i feel better than i did last […]
What’s worst, having friends knowing there there then them leaving you. Or never having any real friends.
take a blade to my wrist,
let it slide down my skin,
let it cut and show the red powerful blood
let that blade end my life, allow me to go in that cold dreadful bath
let me endure the pain i was meant for, let me endure the death thats meant to be
don’t allow me to be in pain, if you care so much allow this to happen
at least for me. let me lie down in the cold bath and let the blood trickle down my arms and wrists allow the blood loss to kill me
what happens after the end?
I have been suicidal since I can remember. The only thing that has stopped me from attempting (in recent years) is the fear of what will happen after I catch the bus. What if I am successful in my endeavor, only to end up in the same position again?
I have the means. I have the will. Now I just need the courage to take my final step.
I can feel it inside of me. Bubbling up, and boiling over.
Like a runaway train barreling down the tracks.
God help the girl tied up at the end of the line.
I’ve done my best to alter my own course.
I listened.
I engaged.
I followed every order they gave me.
I have the day planned out to a tee. I just don’t know when that day will be. It’s soon, that much I know.
I have to earn their trust back, enough to gain leniency.
Then I have to use guilt to cut the remaining threads.
Once that’s done, I’ll be free.
I’m not proud of what I’ve done, nor am I proud of […]
Its been a very rough past few months for me. Hell who am I kidding, its been a very rough past 7 years. I just havent been able to catch a break. It’s been one thing after another. When it rains it pours? Yeah it’s been absolutely pouring down on me with no signs of stopping. Still looking for that ever non existent light at the end of this tunnel. Yet everytime I get to the point of no return I somehow am still here to live it all over again the next day. I have wanted to die for quite some time but I […]