Soon it’ll be our anniversary. Thirteen years of the 29 I’ve spent on this earth…When we first told each other we loved each other you said to me you couldn’t promise a future because you weren’t even sure you’d stay in town. I told you I understood. While you may have meant physical location; I meant a physical end. I’ve struggled since I was twelve with this indescribable sadness in my soul. I’ve tried to think about the future, our plans and dreams lately but I keep hitting a wall. November is inside me. It’s gnawing at me like a slow leaking faucet. I feel […]
I just want the pain to end
For years I have prayed for a terminal illness, something to to take me away from here. I had a chance of happiness once and I blew that. Every decision I have ever made has been a wrong one.
I know there are some people out there that love me but honestly I feel nothing. It doesn’t give me anything. I think on many levels they would be a lot better off without me.
I look in envy of those people who have something terminal. I pass funerals and think they are the lucky ones.
I wake up and begin my day […]
Friday night I said goodbye to SP. after the recent stuff that went on, I lost patience on my suicide plan. I went upstairs, and then took a bunch of pills. The intention of the pills was not to kill me but to sedate me so I could suffocate myself. Didn’t work! So I went up and took more and than when I was heading back down stairs, my aunt cought me before I could use my Halloween bag. She said “come here let me look […]
My biggest regret is that I didn’t kill myself the first time I thought about it. I was 12, and I looked forward. I saw exactly what I have become: a useless, anxiety-plagued lump. Right then I knew I should kill myself because there was nothing for me in the future. I was right. It’s been 20 years and not even a week can pass without me regretting my decision to live. It would have been so much easier, so much better when I was a child, before people expect you to be reasonable and thoughtful. I should have done it then, or I should […]
My sister happened to discover the brilliance of creating art on our skin. She had danced her paintbrush across the canvas, creating a crimson stain, a promised scar awaiting the near future. I know she had to have learned them from somewhere. From someone. The saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has never held such a deep meaning before. She learned it from me. Her big sis. And why don’t I feel guilty for not teaching her the harsh and damaging effects of self damage? Why don’t I feel guilty that she has to conceal her wounds until further notice? I think […]
i need something to dream about..
something to do in the future
my family needs me to get out home one day…
oh god! i dont have where to go!
i dont have dreams or anything!!
there is someone that have a dream?
i just need something…
I am so dissatisfied with my life. So much that if a natural disaster occurred to kill me or someone murdered me, I would probably be okay. I don’t want to commit suicide, or I guess I can’t. I’m too scared. I’ve thought about cutting, but I think about the pain and how I have to bring a knife to my skin, and I just can’t. I feel so stressed. I have so many dreams and goals that I want to achieve, but I know that my dreams are just dreams and that reality will catch up sooner or later. Reality that I’m not smart, […]
There’s no walking out. We talked about the fiery deepest pits of hell. But even above here is also a fiery hell.
I don’t need to open the score anymore. I don’t need to study anymore. Or watch the news. Or take up any examination. It won’t make a difference. The end is crystal clear.
When you said my life would be in the dumps, I didn’t think you were serious.
So that is why my mother never put much hope in me. This life is a mess, and no amount of investment will change it.
That house, this house, that room, this room. It’s […]
Hello all,
This is my first post on here, and I’m hoping to get some feedback about my situation and if I should be taking some sort of action towards it. A little background to the life that led me to this site. I have cystic fibrosis, a degenerative disease that currently holds the life expectancy at 37. I am also pre-diabetic and if this carries it’s course then my life expectancy will drop to a whopping 24. I am currently 19 and these two numbers have haunted the majority of my thoughts for quite some time now. I have not had an easy run at […]
Hello. Are Salt and Killlswitchon here? I miss you guys. If you’re alive or something leave a reply. I think I am going to do it in the future. The recovery was only for the energy that I need to get a job and earn the money for finishing it. Once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t be fixed whatever it happens. I understand everyone with depression, hate, everything. People are just a sack of wack. Maybe the divine exists or maybe not.Maybe it will be better in the next life or maybe it will be an eternal dreamless sleep. But you know […]
I’ll have a drink for that. Another thought about my ex-fiancee, I’ll have a drink for that too. Another thought about my deceased loved ones, there’s a drink for that. Just a little sip, oh look some anti-anxiety pills I’ll have to take those too. Looking at my life, the past the present and the future and having absolutely no idea where I am going to be, there’s a noose for that…
PROS – 1. No more mental illness, 2. No more constant worrying, 3. No painful natural death in the future, 5. No more addictions, 6, no more rejection because I can’t function as a normal adult, 7. No more of this world weighing me down with consequences and obligations, 8, I’ll have a choice!, 9. I’ll never suffer again, 10. I will have no wants, impossible or unhealthy ones.
CONS –
As a political and social philosopher, I developed many ideas over the years – education and prison reform for example, which I may talk about later, among many other ideas. What I want to share with you all today is my vision on bioethics and how my ideas should be turned into federal law.
My ideology on bioethics has been inspired by secular humanism, suffering abolition, emerging technologies, futurology, and above all, choice! Let me give you some examples of what I believe should be turned into law.
1. Euthanasia for the terminally ill or severely handicapped should be a constitutional right.
2. Euthanasia for the mentally ill […]
Guys, I don’t know what to do. I was feeling productive and updated my resume, but for what. I don’t own a car and I don’t have my license because I need more practice, but there are no cars for me to practice with. My dad is an asshole and my mom is a ditz. They frustrate me so much. When I was in 6th grade, I wanted to divorce my parents. I think that is one of my biggest regrets in life. My all time biggest regret in life is that I didn’t try harder to kill myself in 8th grade. I was stupid. […]
Well it started in primary I was 4 when I started getting bullied I begged my parents to let me move school and they kept shouting at me and telling me no but when I told them they just shouted at me even more and told me they didn’t believe me, that was them on good days…
As I grew up it got worse in year 6 I started getting abused by people at school but I didn’t understand depression then, it came summer holidays I left primary and then it was high school
I thought I’d have a fresh start with new people from different schools, […]
ok so I get this website is made to vent to other suicidal people and to get help on easiest ways to kill yourself and just a place you feel like you can go to when you’re feeling suicidal I’ve came here before looking for easiest ways to kill myself and read a lot of other people’s stories and I went through the phase of wanting to end my life. That phase started when I was in the second grade I gave all of my friends my things and told them I wouldn’t be back and went home and tried to stab myself multiple times […]
I broke up with my girlfriend of three years almost two months ago now, and for her it was over a bit longer than that (I left the place we were living together at two months ago). I think I still love her but she already has a new boyfriend. I have been trying to get over her but I think it’s getting worse. I feel so empty and alone. I had a relatively good life before but now I feel like nothing can get better. I’m very insecure about myself.
I kind of know that it was my fault that she lost love for me. We […]
How will I face reality? How will i be strong enough? In reality the cold hard truth is revealed. In reality i am forced into this shell that is damaged and different. In reality thoughts of how worthless, ugly, fat and not good enough i am rush into my head. In reality thoughts of the future worry and scare me. In reality i ask myself “When will this end?” when i should be focusing on “How will this end?” So how? How can i stop hiding my pain and my fears and be okay. How am i going to be strong enough to not have […]
If you sit waiting for peace you will never find it. If you sit around simply hoping that life will get better that you will get a sign that there is a reason to continue, you will get nothing. ACTIONS, very important thing here. Without that you can’t expect anything. You have to do things to better your life and it’s not gonna happen over night maybe not in a week or a month or 5 months. Just think of it in terms of losing weight and getting toned, you can’t expect to be completely in shape in a month especially if you haven’t fully […]
I have been a fighter all my life, molested as a child and growing up in extreme poverty in Flint, Bullied constantly and then raped when I was 15. Depression has never been a stranger to me, but I always wondered whether it was circumstantial or a chemical imbalance. I met my boyfriend of 7 years in high school and attended college, I even sought help from a psychiatrist who prescribed me Seroquel and told me I had Bipolar Disorder, the pills made me a zombie for 5 years but for once in my life my insomnia went away. Fast forward to now, my boyfriend […]