I’ve been having these dreams for awhile now. I’ll be in a certain time period of my life. Last night I had a dream that I was in the year 2004 again. Everything was so vivid. I was able to see my 8-year-old self. How full of life she was, how innocent she was, how much she admired her father, and loved her grandmother, how annoyed she would be by her sister, even then. My dream became lucid halfway through, and I ran into this bathroom. I tried looking at myself in the mirror but I couldn’t see my reflection, I tried to wash my […]
Tag:
the world
I’ve been feeling more than just a little down the last few days. I’ve always known that my MDD will come and go, regardless of the good and bad things in my life. The state of the world these days just seems to indicate there is no viable solution to the hate and killing. Why stick around and continue the vicious cycle?
This is One Blood by Terence Jay. A good representation of my attitude.
Are You Sure You Want To Quit The World?
If you were desperate and hopeless enough to log on to a suicide chat room in recent years, there was a good chance a mysterious woman named Li Dao would find you, befriend you, and gently urge you to take your own life. And, she’d promise, she would join you in that final journey. But then the bodies started adding up, and the promises didn’t. Turned out, Li Dao was something even more sinister than anyone thought
BY NADYA LABI
October 2010 Update, March 20, 2014
Yesterday, the Minnesota Supreme Court reversed the lower court’s decision, ruling […]
I wish for the world to end with me. Everybody dies.
When I was a kid, everything was fine. Life seemed to special and worth it but as I grew up, all of that faded. As things started going a different way then what I had planned, I began to see the reality of this world. I am nothing more than trillions and trillions of cells smashed together with emotions attached. As much as I’ve cried my eyes out wishing there was a “god” or ANYONE for that matter that would save me. things have only gotten worse. I wish I was ignorant like 90% of the world that thinks our existence is worth anything. You […]
I’ve come to hate the daylight. As much as I hate loneliness, being alone in the dark late at night feels so much more secure. I guess that is the time when people can’t mess with me as much – they’re all off in their dreams and resting. I don’t sleep much anymore anyway; except sometimes during the day when it serves the purpose of keeping the rest of the world away from me.
It’s a bad thing to do I know. Isolation feeds depression and anxiety, but I know myself well enough to know that I won’t always choose what’s right just because I know […]
Lately my thoughts are filled with my death…weather it be by my own hands, another or some freak accident.
ive always been suicidal, since a very young age and I’ve been in and out of ‘mental institutions’ since I was 13…I’m now 18. Nothing helps anymore…I feel like the weight of the world is holding my down. I try looking to things or people I love and know will be hurt by my death but even that’s not helping.
i can’t sleep anymore, I’m so scared of everything. I’m scared someone will break in and hurt my family. I’m scared of even the tiniest things.
Hell my dog […]
Today was my first day of school. I was really worried about how everything would turn out. It’s not the worst school in the world, but there are some really messy situations you can find yourself in if you aren’t careful. I’m usually pretty safe, but there are kids who are in local gangs, and it doesn’t take much to piss them off. One kid was beaten up for wearing a wristband that was a rival gang color, and he wasn’t even in a gang! I’m happy there’s a uniform code this year.
Anyhow, things were better than I thought they would be for the most […]
I didn’t do it, I never will hopefully.
While I do think that suicide should be a human right, I can safely say that unless I was unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with some
sort of horrible disease I don’t think I will ever kill myself.
🙂
Sorry for wasting the time of anyone who read the original post.
Peace and Love to you all.
🙂
my mind is racing with all kinds of negative thoughts. therapy is getting hard and heavy. been feeling physically sick with the stress. i am in a very fragile state. been stirring up the shit in therapy and something big is lurking just below the surface. i don’t know what it is but i can cry at the drop of the hat. i am supposed to be trying hypnosis but at the moment it terrifies me. i am scared . something momentous is going to happen and no one outside of therapy knows it. i am withdrawing from family/friends because i just don’t want to […]
the past few years have been shitty for me. my best friend committed suicide july 30 2013 with a shotgun to the head in his bedroom. i was with him the night before and i feel that i couldve done something. as time passes i feel more and more compelled to do it myself. my life is a waste, i cant get further ahead in my career because the college education i have isnt enough which is the result of the economy and unfortunately i cannot make more than minimum wage. thats just the way it is. no one can get benefits anymore, and i […]
I feel better than I have in weeks. Still nervous and worried but I have a smile on my face. I am finding it difficult to focus. I’m finding it difficult to go on in certain ways. I need to figure certain things out. Maybe this isn’t what I’m meant to do in life. maybe I should run away. I’ve always wanted to run away, like Holden Caulfield. I think I should give this life a try and then see if I still feel the same in a few months.
I’ve gained some weight and I’m still getting use to my body. It feels like it […]
This is my second post on here…. I don’t know how often I will post but I see this an outlet for me. I feel like I don’t have to hold it all in anymore….
Anyway, I have tried to kill myself with pills and alcohol but it didn’t do anything. The feeling you get afterwards just lingered all for a few day. My speech was a little slurred and I couldn’t walk straight but eventually the feeling went away. The feeling of wanting to die or wanting to live varies from day to day. Some days I feel like I got this and others I […]
It’s beautiful in such a twisted and haunting way, how there are so many people around the world right now; so many sad people… who are all thinking at the same time, and for their own reasons, “I want to die”. And they’re all so alone. And just a tiny handful of them, out of a sea of people, travel to this website. I wish I could hug one of you. That would be something really special.
I hope everyone makes it through tonight/today and smiles at least once.
I’ve been dead for a while now. I have removed myself from friends and family, acquaintances, reality. I have sat in one room for 2 days now. No one has missed me or checked on me either. Not moving except to go to the bathroom. Well, longer than that if you want to be technical. For about a year and a half, I have gone through the motions of living. I have a steady job and income. But I realize that I’ve been dead for a long time. At least dead to who I used to be and maybe I never really was anyone to […]
I wish I was a Blonde, that way I’d have something to match my stupidity down to a tee. I feel that people wouldn’t expect as much from me if they saw I was Blonde. I also wish I was a trust fund baby who didn’t need to work a day in her life. I wouldn’t mind taking shit for it, because I’d be too rich to care. People say I can be pretty smart, but I don’t see it. My grammar sucks; I don’t know a thing about it, honestly. I just repeat what I see from reading. And about reading, it takes me […]
I’m probably going to kill myself tonight. I know I’ll be doing everyone I know a favor. Accutely I’m sure people will be sad and hurt but I’m certain over the long haul the world and everyone I’ve ever met will be better off without me.
Last year I had an abortion… It was unplaned and my dad had told me before that he’ll kill himself if I let him down… He was on his knees crying like a baby when he said that, and that was the image I kept in my mind trough the procedure. My bf ay the time didn’t push me to do it… But neither showed me another option. So I did it and tried to live normally after that. I justo couldn’t. I finished the relationship because looking at his face remind me every time what have I done. And I found someone who gain […]
We all have those moments where we just want to die. This was a feeling that I had that was stronger than ever. Since I was a little girl, I was fat and I have been called fat. I’m not gonna lie…it hurt badly. It made me feel terrible. Those beautiful girls out there were skinny, so where does that leave me? I cried and cried myself to sleep sometimes because I was ugly and fat. As I got older, it was worst. You were judged all the time, whether if it was how pretty you were, what was your weight, or the clothes you […]
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for many years now. I usually never thought of my current situation as being that depressing though. I’m on active duty and my duty station of the last 2.5 years has been the worst, but in the last year I felt like I made the most of it.
Yet, earlier this week, I realized that I do not value life. I don’t value mine. I don’t necessarily de-value the lives of others (I’m NOT homicidal) but the idea of losing people no longer fazes me. I’m really numb to grieving at this point.
My life is not upwardly mobile. I […]