I have no idea why I feel so down all the time, why? My mum used to say when I was upset it was my age between 12 and 16 now I am 18 and I can’t seem to get out of this constant feeling of depression. I have attempted suicide in silly ways that didn’t even come close to working.. Then I for a while used to cut myself but in all honesty I think that was just a cry for help hoping somebody would notice as I was to scared to open up about my feelings to anyone. From when I turned 16 […]
Tag:
the world
Been here many times talked back by Samaritans which is no use to me, I’m bad to the bone don’t need anyone to tell me I can be forgiven , if I can’t it don’t matter , disabled now after always working and have a body that Wong work so the man part of me is no use anymore my wife says she love me but you can see the desire and attractive ness has gone, the odd time things work she don’t wanna know, still at least this post should give you a good laugh I’m ridiculed all the time anyway , so all […]
You know what? I’m not feeling suicidal, I don’t feel like cutting. I just feel empty. There’s just a huge empty hole that’s inside me and it’s leaving me very uncertain. My parents want me to think about life, especially since this is my senior year, but they don’t understand that I don’t see myself living after I turn 18. Let me explain: I don’t mean that I’m gonna commit suicide, or anything like that, it’s just I can’t see myself in the future after 18. I can’t imagine going to college, traveling the world, having kids, getting married. I know that normal people can […]
I hate it so much. There is simply no space in the world for a giant man in a dress. That’s what I am. A giant man in a dress. I am tired of feeling jealous of women, tired of feeling like I can’t catch my breath. Anxiety constantly. It feels like there is no hope, nowhere for me to go. I feel like such a freak. I’m tired of hating the way I look, tired of hating that there’s nothing I can do about it, just tired. I’m exhausted from self loathing. I don’t know how much more pain I can take. There is […]
Since many years,the world had been control by a group of elite families,their objective?complete control of the world,introduce a fascism way more worse than the past one.thousands of cameras in the cities,,new 2014 chips inserted in kids to ensure their security,television and football to take away the atention from the real problems..The most powerfull families cleaning the path for the arrival of the antichrist,he will come in form of hero,intelectual and you know God.The majority of the people would believe in him,if you dont you would be persecuted and isolated ,they will call you insane.When every single one is […]
My family doesn’t know that I’m gay. In fact, they think I’m straight. Sometimes it seems like they try to push sexuality on me. It’s weird. They say that I should get a girlfriend, get married, have kids, and all that shit. I tell my parents that I don’t want to get married or have children and they don’t believe me. They think that just one day, I’ll meet the right girl.
To be honest I’ve never been kissed, held hands with, or hugged someone romantically. In fact, I try to avoid touching people. Relationships seem so foreign to me. I see a lot of people […]
Nothing is getting any better. I thought that after cancer I could face anything… that the world had to throw me some sort of bone, but it hasn’t. I don’t know what to do anymore. The only thing i wake up for is my job… and here people are constantly yelling. I get scared and i want to be held… but the only man who i trust to hold me cant stay here for much longer. i dont want to rely on him to be my savior. frankly, i’m tired of being saved. I want nothing more than to sleep, but as of late, that’s […]
I’ve decided it. I’m going to die. I have a bottle of pills right here beside me. I just wanted to let somebody know. So that I wouldn’t be alone. Not more than I already am, anyway. I thought about posting on Facebook, but I wouldn’t want the two people who would actually see it to worry.
I suppose while I’m at it I might as well tell my story. Don’t worry, it won’t take very long. I’m 16 years old and female. My name is Lucy. I was born on April 18, 1998. To think at that moment in time I had no problems in life. […]
Why is it when people are happy
there are people who are sad?
why is there opposite happy and sad?
Why are there evil in the world?
Why cant i change?
why cant i be
why cant i be
why cant i be…
straight
why do i have to be bi?
why cant i change?
i cant survive… Im nog strong enough
im chrishton
A bisexual chrishton
well please help
please
please…..
-brian
p.s im 13 year old boy
I try to live myself now with no regrets but I have one from the past that I just can’t get over. I left my wife while she was 9 months pregnant and asked for a divorce. I’ve always been apart of my child’s life but I can’t get over leaving her, I never should have done it. When she’s nice to me I am on top of the world. When she’s mean or ignores me it puts me in the deepest depression. It has been over 7 years and I just can’t get over it, I try. I’ve talked to psychologist and been out […]
And I’m not talking about the people who have had close brushes with death and feel like they are living on borrowed time (you know, the ones who are like “a piano almost fell and killed me! Now I will live life to the fullest!”). Or maybe I am? I have survived from a very real attempt at suicide. I always wanted to die. I have tried plenty of other times but was always stopped or prevented. I hate that when you die, the people who treated you the worst are never the remorseful ones. The funny thing is that they are the ones who […]
SP caged-clown, of hell. Come see me, my humility. If you shall, come free me.
You don’t have to touch me, you can pull me with these chains tied to my body.
If you may, help me destroy it, so that I may live or die, in peace.
The zero child is piety. Air, turn me into rain. I say please.
Leader of humanity, Mankind. In bow, I plea to thee.
My truth. My cards. Illness and death. Two burning towers.
Indeed, I see and feel the world from upside-down. Indeed, it hurts the most of all.
Warped. The child of piety. The next five […]
Honest question, one I’ve never had the guts to ask, but I feel like it’s safe to ask here. I grew up ugly, emotionally abused and neglected. It’s all I knew, and every bit of good I did ( raising my sister, joining the Coast Guard, being a good friend no matter what it cost me) was in spite of where and what I came from, not because of it. And I’m tried of fighting against everything I was raised in, just to be a good person. It takes all of my effort just to be normal, and sometimes it doesn’t feel like its worth it. […]
”Life is sad. But it’s always beautiful”.
I bet you all can find some beauty in sadness, even beauty in a depressive lifestyle, don’t you? Being against all the world and it’s shallow and dull and futile happiness. Being unique. That’s what sadness is about… The reality is sad, and we see the reality as it really is – unlike the shallow happy people, whom live into an ilusion. But be cautious, my friends my brothers…
”Be careful with the sadness – it’s addictive.”
That’s from Gustave Flaubert. I’m sure there is a lot of addicts here. I was one too. I used ”real” drugs. I loved cocaine. […]
It’s been what about a month?
I’m not going to say it’s been too long.
Because it hasn’t.
And that may hurt some of you, but I’m not sorry.
Because I’m starting to get better.
Suicidal thoughts do not cloud my mind anymore.
Thoughts of no one caring are not there.
I know some people care.
And I know some people don’t.
I have accepted that.
For those who don’t care I toss them away.
My friend once said to get rid of the toxic people.
So I do.
But sometimes it doesn’t go as well as planned.
Sometimes my friends get mad at me.
Peut etres, le gas Francais, son coeur, il y va me sauver.
Xavier, Anatole, Jeremy, Lore. Life was so fun.
Constance and her castle with an indoor swimming pool and spa.
The party room in the attic. Oh, and Eva. Oh, mondieux.
Then I moved to the State, fourteen years later. Fated, and now.
Seeking to save my life, here, on Suicide Project.
I tried, I attempted, at life. Sucked inside my monster, was only I.
Only I, and still will ever so. Vowed, please, make me strong.
I lost a long time ago. From suffering death, I seek life.
Here on my opposite end […]
Have you ever felt so ugly and unwanted, that you couldn’t leave the house? You feel as if everyone is staring at you, wondering why you look this way instead of that way. I worry about that every day, and it’s gradually getting worse. I can’t leave the house most days. I haven’t always hated my appearance, it became noticable when I began to truly notice my appearance. I’m 13, and I have alopecia. During the summer, my hair started to get noticably thinner and now it’s almost completely gone. My mother thought it’d save my confidence if we just shaved it all- which in […]
Seeking comrade, base, abyss. The clan back to the land. Train like a Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan. Heal, to take over the world. Peace… kick it. Comrade.
by Bisban
written by Bisban
Seeking a roommate. I’m looking to move out of Southern California and checking out rooms in New Mexico right now. There are some pretty good deals if maybe we can split rent two ways; split 750 so 375 dollars. I’m open to other suggestions, too.
It’s 6am here and I’ve been awake since 1am. I go to bed very early and love to get up and go on the computer during those blessed early morning hours when the rest of the world is asleep. That’s pretty much the only time I feel anything approaching to contentment and relaxation these days.
I’ve yanked up the pep pill dosage and have been rewarded with a little window of enjoyment. I know it will quickly be replaced with the anxieties, frustrations and despairing thoughts that every day now holds for me, so I might as well make the most of it.
My elderly ma is […]
For as long as I remember I was frightened. I feared other people as I wasn’t nearly as good as any of them. Then I joined the military and I was more scared. But then I started drinking and the fear left me. Being gay in a straight world (and a drunk) is not healthy. I was very frightened others would find out I was gay. My gay relationships were few – with occasional encounters – and after each encounter I feared people would know and I would have to leave the military. I never talked about my sexuality. Then through my alcohol addiction and a “disastrous” night I was […]